It's Been Ages I Know! But here's- Jared, Chelsea and Felicia

Jared

At first, I thought the hammering on the door were African tribal drums. Random, I know but it was three thirty in the morning and I had been dreaming of beautiful African women.....uh, the dream’s unimportant. What is important are the people who were doing the banging on the door. It was a bedraggled, frightened Phoebe with Connor, who had his arm wrapped around her shoulders so tightly that it looked like he might be hurting her.

“What on Earth?” Maxine padded out of her room.

“What’s wrong, guys?” Phoebe looked like she was about to cry so Connor explained everything.

“So you shoved a marble statue out a window?” I asked, incredulously.

“When you say it like that it sounds idiotic.” Phoebe sniffled.

“And you’re a doctor.” I marvelled. But she looked really upset so I softened my tone. “We can’t leave him on the sidewalk.”

“Of course not.” Maxine scoffed. She laid a reassuring hand on Phoebe’s arm. “It’s okay, darling. We’ll all take care of it.”

Maxine and I quickly changed out of sleeping clothes. All four of us had to lift the statue of the mangled body. I shall spare the gory details but a word of advice, if you’re going to intentionally kill someone, don’t do it with a very heavy statue. Really, it’s just messy. Maxine and Connor seemed surprisingly adept at cleaning up...everything. Luckily for Phoebe and Connor, their window opened onto an alley so there were no passers by. We loaded Stefano and the statue into Connor’s van. Maxine and Connor seemed completely unperturbed by the dead man that was lying in the back. I couldn’t say that I mourned Stefano but he was another human being (no matter how hard that might have been to believe when he was alive) and his death was a tragic accident.

“Couldn’t we just tell someone?” Phoebe sniffled.

“No!” Connor said, sharply. He and Phoebe exchanged a look through the rear-view mirror.

“Sorry.” Phoebe mumbled, looking away. I glanced, quizzically at Phoebe’s turned head. She was staring intently out the window. We reached a deserted parkette that sat on a cliff looking over Lake Ontario.

“Perfect dumping spot.” Maxine crowed. “Come on, help me!” Phoebe was looking paler than the dead guy so Connor instructed her to stay in the car.

“I want to come out; I feel sick.” She said, shivering. I took my jacket off and wrapped it tight around her shoulders.

“Just tell us if you feel faint or anything.” She nodded, weakly. I hurried to the trunk where Maxine and Connor were trying to heave the statue into the garbage bag. Once it was in the bag, it was a matter of dragging it to the precipice without tearing the bag. Phoebe, seeing our struggle, pitched in and the four of us tottered to the edge of the cliff.

“On the count of three.” I said.

“One.” We swung the bag backward. “Two.” Moved it forward. “Three!” And let it fly. And fly it did. Right into the murky waters of the lake.

“How shallow is it here?” Connor suddenly asked.

“Oh, fuck.” We all groaned.

Twenty minutes later, Connor and I had slid to the bottom of the cliff. Maxine and Phoebe were watching, anxiously from the top of the cliff. Well, Phoebe was anxious; Maxine was just calling out unhelpful advice and cackling at our discomfiture. Wading into the water, we looked for the bag. Eventually, it was Connor that found it. Well, he didn’t really find it; he tripped on it and fell into the water. After I finished laughing and Connor had regained what little was left of his dignity, we lifted the bag and heaved it further. Satisfied that it had reached a depth where it wouldn’t be found, we began our slow trek to the shore.

Chelsea

“Wow, it feels weird actually taking you out on date.” Carson joked. I laughed.

“It feels different to be dating someone other than Colton.”

“Is it weird?”

“No.” I smiled at him. “Just different.” He returned my smile, reassured.

“Chelsea!” What on Earth?

“Kirk?”

“Carson!” Carson looked distinctly uncomfortable at the sudden appearance of Kirk.

“What are you doing here?” I snarled.

“What? Can’t a guy come to a fancy restaurant without being questioned?” He sat down at the table right beside us.

“Not when it’s the same restaurant as your best friend’s ex-girlfriend.”

“Ex-fiancée.” He corrected me. “Though not really ex, am I right?”

“Shut up, Kirk.” Carson looked at me funny. “You know what? I’m not that hungry anymore, Carson.”

“Okay, let’s go.” He said, warily.

“You didn’t tell him about the susp-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence because I flung my ice water in his face. I swung around to Carson and yanked him me, pressing my lips against his. Leaning back, I glanced at Kirk.

“Tell Colton about that.” With that, I flounced out of the restaurant.

Felicia

I was curled up in a ball on the couch. The house was empty, everyone having something better to do on a Friday night. I didn’t care. I worked so hard throughout the week that I was kind of glad that Neil wasn’t here, pawing at me. There was a marvellous chick flick on and I had a piping hot cup of soup. I had just settled myself in my blanket when someone knocked on the door.

“For fuck’s sake.” I grumbled. “People have the worst timing.” I padded over to the door and opened it. “Hi, Grant.”

“Hi, Felicia.”

“What’s up?” I gestured for him to follow me inside. He did, closing the door behind him.

“I was wondering. Is Adriana here?” I shot him a sly look.

“Why?” He shrugged, blushing.

“No reason.” I felt an inexplicable surge of anger at his innocent crush.

“Why do you like her? Like, honestly! She’s not beautiful. She’s certainly not nice. So what is it?” He looked rather surprised at my sudden outburst. “Sorry.” I mumbled, embarrassed.

“I don’t know what it is....”

“You don’t have to answer.” I said, apologetically. “I’m just so sick of seeing nice guys being crushed by her.” Grant was still thinking. “You want some wine?”

“Oh, I don’t drink.” I stared at him, incredulous.

“How do you survive?”

“Quite well, thanks.” He replied, earnestly. I looked at him, trying to figure out whether he was nuts or just plain stupid. He returned my gaze with sweet, gentle brown eyes. I shrugged and shuffled back to the couch.

“I think I like her-”

“Seriously, Grant. Don’t put so much thought into it; it was just an outburst.”

“But I want to answer.”

“Oh...then go ahead.”

“I like her because she makes me feel like the only man alive.” He said after a moment’s thought. Adriana did have a knack for doing that. Glancing at him again, I smiled a little.

“Well, Grant. I think you deserve to be with someone who believes with her whole heart that you are the only man alive for her.” He turned to me and smiled, brightly and my stomach twisted a little.

“Thank you, Felicia. That’s really nice.”

“Call me Felcy.” I mumbled, blushing. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

All's Fair in Love & Murder

Colton
“Is it a good idea? I mean, really? Tell me how you honestly feel, Jack.”

“This might the fourth time I’ve said it’s a bad idea. Just for clarification, you do know that bad means not good, right?”

“Your sarcasm is not appreciated.” I snapped at him.

“I’m dreadfully sorry to be offending you, Colton.” I sighed.

“Can you not utter a sentence without being sarcastic.”

“Of course I can. In fact, I just did.”

“You’re useless.”

“What do you want me to say? This is a great idea, Colton. I think you should forgive your cheating fiancée and promise to spend the rest of your life with a woman who wasn’t even faithful to you.” I threw my hands up in the air.

“For a best friend, you give me no support at all.” Jackson shrugged.

“Time to get a new best friend.” There was a gentle knock on the door.

“I’ll get it.” Preston hurtled towards the door. “Oh. It’s just you.” I heard him say.

“Thanks, Preston.” I recognized Chelsea’s voice and my heart began to pound. Jackson glanced at me.

“You okay, Colt? You look a little pale.”

“He’s white, Jack. He can’t get any paler.” Kirk interjected. Chelsea had entered the living room. I sprang to my feet, unable to tear my eyes away from her. Her black hair was tied into a messy ponytail and she was clothed in crumpled satin pyjamas. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked like she hadn’t slept for ages.

“Hey, Colton.” The room fell into an eerie silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the heads of Jackson, Preston, Kirk, Jamie and Cameron protruding over the couch as they watched us with baited breath.

“Hi, Chelsea.” She smiled, sadly.

“I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” Awkward pause.

“Maxine told me.”

“Oh.” Awkward pause.

“I need to talk to you about that.”

“Okay.” Another awkward pause.

“Look, Colton. I love you.” I smiled; no matter how many times I heard it, I loved hearing those words coming out of her mouth. “I love you a lot. I want to spend the rest of my life with you....I think.”

“You think?”

“I think so. And that’s the problem. I need to be completely and utterly sure that you are the
man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I mean, it’s the rest of my life. That’s a really long time.” She paused and her eyes glazed over. “A really long time....” She shook her head.

“What do you want then, Chelse?”

“I want....I want a suspended engagement.”

“A what?” The collective yell came from the men hiding behind the couch.

“A suspended engagement,” She continued, glaring at them, “means that we’ll see other people. So I—we--can figure out what we want or who we want.” I bit my lip. I knew what I wanted. I wanted her, a beautiful cottage, three children and a cat. I wanted to throw a tantrum. “Colton?
Say something!” She begged.

“I don’t know what to say, Chelsea.”

“Do you like the idea? Do you agree to it?” I sighed.

“I don’t like it but I do agree. I want you to marry me because you know in your heart that it’s what you want to do not what you have to do.” She smiled at me, which caused my vision to cloud and my heart to soar.

“Thank you, Colton.” She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek.

“I love you, Chelsea.” She just smiled again. It was a smile tinged with sadness.

“I guess I love you too, Colt.”


Jackson
“Well, that was an interesting chain of events.” I said to the rest of the group. Colton looked rather depressed and despite my earlier annoyance with him, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the miserable bugger. “Cheer up, Colt. She’s not ending it. She’s postponing it.” I smiled in what I hoped was an encouraging manner. “It won’t be that bad.” He gave me a sour look and plopped down on the couch. So much for encouraging. The door opened and Phoebe and Maxine breezed in. Screw Colton and his problems; it was time for me to make my move.

“Hey, girls.”

“Just here for some food, Jackson. I know you guys keep all the junk. Sasha went on a cleaning spree and my precious stash of chips, dip and everything fatty went out with the trash.” Maxine said.

“I’m here because she made me come.” Phoebe said, shrugging. “I gave up fatty foods a long time ago.”

“Why? You don’t look like you need any sort of diet.” I said. Maxine snorted.

“Worst pick up line ever, Jack.” I glared at her.

“Good morning, one and all.” Adriana waltzed into the room. “Just thought I’d drop and say hi.” Phoebe faded as Adriana traipsed over and sat beside me.

“How’s it going, Jackson?”

“Good...fine...okay. Yeah. I’m good.”

“I’m glad you’re good.” She laughed girlishly and I smiled.

“Pathetic.” Maxine muttered. But Adriana was with me and that was all that really mattered, no matter what Maxine said.


Marshall
I felt rather despondent as I left my apartment with my soccer bag on my shoulder. My heart was heavy since Phoebe hadn’t acknowledged my present of flowers. I hadn’t even seen her. Every time I stepped into the hall I prayed that I would see her. Today, my prayers were answered as Phoebe strolled out of Jackson/Kirk/Preston/Jamie’s apartment.

“Phoebe!” I tried to keep the note of desperation out of my voice. She glanced up and smiled.

“Marshall.”

“Did you get my flowers?” She laughed.

“I did. I was very flattered by your thoughtful gesture. It really was too much. I’d have forgiven you anyway.” I shrugged.

“I didn’t only want your forgiveness.” I sent her a suggestive look to let her know that there were other things that I wanted. She flushed.

“Well, Grant doesn’t like you very much anymore.”

“Why?”

“He’s allergic to flowers; he’s been roaming around the house, sneezing and cursing. But I won’t throw such a sweet gesture out.”

“How about this? You throw those flowers out and then go out with me to make up for it.” She laughed and I smiled as charmingly as I could.

“Sounds like a perfect deal.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up around 7:30 on Friday?” Phoebe nodded and returned to her apartment while I floated down the hall in a state of supreme happiness.


Celeste
“I think we should drape orange and black streamers everywhere.” Maxine was rearranging photos on the counter.

“How can he be such an asshole? He hasn’t even apologized.” Maxine was completely ignoring me but I kept ranting. Kent was a fucking dickhead and I hated him. “Why did I even date him in the first place?”

“A question that I posed multiple times during your relationship; you always glared at me and stormed off. Now, what should I do for the draperies?” I sighed.

“Great help you are, Max.”

“What do you want me to do, Celeste? Coo over you? Embrace you and let you cry away the hours? The best you can do is to forget that whole dastardly relationship ever happened.” The doorbell pealed and I dragged myself to the door.

“Good mornin’, Ms. Ambridge.” Old Mr. History stood before me with a huge bouquet of flowers. Mr. History was an actual florist not like Adriana and her whores. “These are for you.”

“My, they’re beautiful.”

“They have a nice note too.” I gestured for him to enter the house. Maxine smiled at him as she poured him a glass of water. Mr. History was used to our house; he visited often.

“What does it say, Celeste?” I plucked the pink, flowery card out of the chrysanthemums.

“I’ll be your Prince Charming, if you’ll be my Cinderella.” I slammed the flowers on a table.

“That son of a bitch! He’s trying to seduce me!”

“Who?” Mr. History looked mighty confused.

“Kent. My ex-boyfriend! Like I’d go to the Masquerade Ball with him. I’m going to go tell him what a fucker he is. Then I’ll punch him.”

“Atta’girl!” Maxine cheered. “I’m so proud of her.” So with my ego inflated with Maxine’s encouragement, I marched down my hall and hammered on Kent’s apartment door. Alden answered.

“Hey, Celeste.”

“Where the hell is that son of a bitch?”

“Kent, door for you.” Alden replied by yelling into the apartment. Soon, my scumbag ex slithered to the door.

“Oh, hey, Celeste.”

“Don’t ‘Oh, hey, Celeste’ me, you ass. How could you send me those flowers? How could you even entertain the thought that I would have another romantic connection with you?”

“What flowers? What are you talking about? Are you using again?” I slapped him.

“I’m not high.”

“You sound like it.” He snapped, nursing his bruised cheek.

“Why’d you send those bloody flowers?”

“Look, why would I send them? I know you and your psychotic spasms.” I slapped him again.

“Fuck, bitch! Stop it!” I slapped him again.

“Don’t swear at me.”

“I’m sorry! Just stop slapping me.”

“Fine.”

“I didn’t send them.”

“Then who did?”

“How should I know?” I spun on my heel and walked back to my apartment. But if Kent didn’t send those flowers.....who did?


Connor
“That....thing really is ugly.” Phoebe grumbled, eyeing the Venus De Milo statue. “How could he have paid money for it?”

“I really don’t know.” I replied. “We have to get rid of it. I can’t bring people home and have
them see it sitting there. It looks like the centerpiece of a pimp’s house.” She smiled.

“We are all alone tonight.” Andre was out visiting his sister, Spike was sleeping on someone’s (we weren’t sure who) couch and Grant was asleep and nothing would be able to rouse him. “What if we threw it out the window?”

“What?” I cried. “Are you nuts?!”

“No. Think about it. It’s three in the morning; who would be out?”

“What do we tell Andre?”

“Someone broke in; it is a ‘beautiful’ piece of art, after all.”

“It’s a stupid idea.” Yet somehow, I found myself heaving a Venus de Milo statue through our living room window. Phoebe is an extremely convincing woman.

“Why is this so fucking heavy?” She grunted.

“I told you it was a bad idea.”

“Just shut up and lift.” With a final burst of energy, we shoved the infernal thing over the side.
Instead of hearing the satisfied crash of marble shattering, we heard a dull thud. Poking our heads out the window, we saw the mangled body of Stefano Degachi lying underneath it.

“Great idea, Phoebe. Now we’ll get arrested for homicide.”

Alden, Nikki, Spike, Maxine, Colton

Alden
Adriana snored when she slept. Well, less snored and more imitated a jack hammer. I could never sleep when she slept over; not that I complained about being kept awake by a woman but generally, we would be doing fun stuff as opposed to lying in bed, staring the ceiling. Adriana had her arm clamped around my chest so if I wanted to sneak off and catch some shut-eye in the living room, I couldn’t. So my imagination began to wander which inevitably took me to Sasha. She was exceptionally beautiful woman. More beautiful than Adriana though Adriana had this raw, sexual energy about her that Sasha didn’t seem to possess. She did, however, have an actual moral code that she followed vigilantly. For Adriana, the word ‘moral’ didn’t have a place in her vocabulary. I could respect Sasha and I did respect her. Greatly, in fact. Which was why I wanted her so badly. In terms of respectability, most of the girls I had dated came from the lower end of the spectrum. It was unfortunate but they were easy. It does get boring after a while though. Being a successful R&B artist meant that women regularly threw themselves at my feet but Sasha never did. Ever. Glancing at the jackhammer, I made a decision. Adriana had burnt out. I was done with her. Shutting my eyes, I reminded myself to tell Maxine to buy me a diamond bracelet for Adriana. No girlfriend of mine ever left without a....parting gift.

Nikki
“Do you even realize how much money you waste on whips?” I demanded of Adriana. I was auditing her bloody ‘flower shop’. Adriana flitted around her office.

“They’re not whips, Nikki, darling. They’re decorative ribbons.”

“If they’re made out of leather, they’re whips.” I grumbled.

“The men pay extra if they get smacked around a bit.” Adriana continued to speak as if she hadn’t heard me. “You wouldn’t understand, Nikki. It’s too complex for your innocent mind.” I glared at her.

“I’m not that innocent.” I grumbled. Previous experience had taught to mumble my disagreement with Adriana. She didn’t like being disagreed with and her wrath was terrifying. “Addy, I understand...your need for more money. But really, can’t you ask your girls to be gentler with the whips?”

“Oh, stop your nagging, Nikki. I’ve got better things to do than listen to your lectures.” She snapped. “Just finish the damn auditing.” She stomped out of her office. I got the whiff of whorish perfume wafting in as she slammed the door behind her. Adriana’s business was code named the “Flower Shop” but was really a gentlemen’s club for the scum of the male gender. Adriana’s loud laughter floated through the walls and assaulted my ears. In anger, I slammed the books shut. She can do her own stupid auditing. After glaring at the books for a few minutes, I sighed and opened them up again.


Spike
“That thing is hideous. It is repulsive to look at and frankly, is offensive!” I yelled at Andre.

“It’s a work of art!” Andre yelled back. The disputed object was a two foot Venus de Milo statue carved out of marble and encrusted with fake jewels. Phoebe and Connor stood, impassively.

“It’s FUGLY!”

“You cannot appreciate the inner workings of the artistic mind, Spike. I’m afraid you’re ignorant! Completely and utterly ignorant! Phoebe! What do you think of this?” Phoebe paled.

“Uh...my opinion? My opinion hardly matters, Andre.....It’s what Connor thinks that’s important.” Connor shot Phoebe a dirty look.

“I don’t know, Andre. Honestly. If you like it, I suppose I feel the same way.” I sneered at their inability to express their true dislike.

“What they’re TRYING to say is that it is one of the ugliest things they have ever laid eyes on.”
“That’s a little mean.” Phoebe said, softly.

“No one cares what you have to say, Phoebe. You’re the ultimate empath. Always caring about what other people think.” Phoebe threw her hands up in the air.

“I’m not talking to him when he acts like this.”

“How is he being different from any other day?” Connor snorted. “Seems like the same egotistical jerk as always.”

“What do you think of the statue, Grant?”

“It’s naked. I’m not looking.” True enough, Grant was staring at the wall, away from the topless statue.

“Oh, forget it.” I snapped at him. “You’re useless anyway.”

“Stuff a sock in it.” Phoebe replied. “Leave Grant alone. Just because he’s more childlike than others doesn’t mean he’s useless.” I rolled my eyes at her and she made a face at me. I turned my back on her and refocused my attention on Andre.

“You have a choice, Andre. Me or that infernal statue.”

“It’s an easy decision, Spike. I stand beside my choices. If you don’t like my statue, you can march your butt out of here.” I gaped at him.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” I was speechless. I was being thrown out of my very own apartment by a raving lunatic with an ugly statue.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll go!” I glared at Phoebe and Connor who were smirking. “But you’ll be begging me to come back. Just watch!”

“Sure, Spikey.” Phoebe said, sarcastically. “We’ll be on our knees.”

“What will we do without our daily dose of asshole?” Connor said in an anguished voice. I stormed into my room and flung a couple of basics into a bag. They’re all dicks. They’ll want me back eventually. I stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind me, making Phoebe jump in surprise.

“I hate you all.” I snarled as I flew out of the apartment door.


Maxine
I was a genius. That was the fact of the matter. Chelsea was miserable and Colton was miserable. Actually, so was Carson but he didn’t really matter. Colton was reasonable; if I spoke to him, he would eventually see the light and come to his senses. Chelsea was truly sorry and everyone makes mistakes. So I set out of my apartment, mid-afternoon on a Saturday with a purpose. The dweebs were at it when I arrived, bickering over the game controllers. I coughed gently, hoping to get their attention without having to raise my voice. Subtlety is lost on men like them.

“Hey, dumbasses!” I hollered. There was a silence as Kirk, Preston, Jamie and Colton froze to search for the source of the voice. “I might be short and skinny but I’m not that invisible.”

“Oh, Maxine. Hey.” Preston greeted me as he kneed Jamie in the crotch.

“Whoa, Jamie. What happened to your eye?” It was black and swollen.

“Preston.” Jamie replied I waited for some sort of explanation but all I heard were animalistic (think: pig) grunts.

“Colton, can I talk to you?” He shrugged and the boys cheered over having one less competitor.

“Sure. Make it quick though.” He seemed to be much better now. I had seen him weeping on a bench, earlier this morning.

“It’s about Chelsea.”

“I don’t want to talk-” I silenced him with the wave of my hand.

“Too bad. I want to talk so we talk.” He sighed. “Listen. You’re both miserable.”

“I’m fine-”

“You were crying on a bench like a homeless person.”

“I’m fine now.”

“No, you’re not. I can see it.”

“What does it matter? She clearly wants nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true! She still loves you. She just...went astray, that’s all.”

“Astray? So she wandered into Carson’s arms?”

“If you use that imagery, yes!” I decided to attack him personally. “It’s not only her fault. You’re not exactly the most loving person there is. You’re a workaholic with barely enough to time to eat, let alone care for a fiancée. She was lonely.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“You act as if it’s that easy to talk to you! You ignore things you don’t want to hear.” He sighed and I could see that I was getting through to him. “Come on. Fix your relationship. You want it. She wants it. You love her. You can’t give up on love, just because a little thing-”

“She had sex with another man.”

“Maybe not so little a thing. But still! She’s sorry.”

“Really?”

“She hasn’t stopped crying.”

“Really?” He cracked a smile. Inwardly, I marvelled at the perverseness of human nature; we take pleasure from hearing our loved ones are grieving over us.

“Yes!”

“I want to talk to her first.”

“But are you open to the idea of a reconciliation?” He sighed.

“Now I am.” Bubbling over with excitement, I practically floated back to my apartment.

“Chelsea, darling!” I called out, waltzing into the living room.

“Yes?”

“I just spoke to Colton.” Chelsea raised her red rimmed eyes, sorrowfully.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s willing to talk about a reconciliation.” Chelsea’s jaw dropped and an expression of joyful hope danced across her face.

“What?” From the tone of her voice, maybe that wasn’t joyful hope dancing across. “Are you serious?”

“I negotiated it.” Chelsea gulped.

“Why would you do that?”

“I-I...I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“No, Max.” She smacked her head against the table. “This is the exact opposite of what I wanted.”

Sasha & Colton; Felicia & Jackson

Sasha
Celeste had just about stopped weeping by two in the morning. Felicia had conked out by ten thirty and no one had the heart to wake her. Maxine fell asleep shortly after Celeste. The only people left awake were me and Phoebe.

“I’m an insomniac.” Phoebe confessed.

“I am, too.” I replied. “I’m usually up cooking at this time of night.”

“This late?”

“Pressures of being the owner of a business.” Phoebe smiled, understandingly.

“I know. My clinic demands so much of my time.”

“Wow. That’s cool. I own my own catering company. Balas Catering. Not terribly inventive, I'm afraid.” She laughed

“It's okay." She sighed. "Owning your own business is tiring but wonderful.” And so, the conversation continued on its same boring path as we discussed the joys and sorrows of owning a business. Until it took a turn onto the personal side.

“One recommendation I will offer to you is never date at work.” I cocked my eyebrow at her as she sipped her glass of Pepsi. “I was dating my nurse, Richard.”

“How’d that work out?”

“Awful. He’s on leave and despite his promise to call every two days, I haven’t received a single call and it’s been two weeks. Not even a damn postcard.” She shrugged. “What about you? Any guys in your life?” My thoughts flew to Jackson.

“No. Well...yes.” She waited, patiently. “I’m attracted to this guy; so I don’t like him that way yet.”

“So who is he?”

“Jackson Hines.” She smiled.

“The writer?”

“Yeah. You know him?”

“I got the chance to make his acquaintance at my party.”

“Do you usually speak weirdly?” Phoebe sighed.

“Generally.”

“Good to know.”

Colton
“Shut the hell up!” Jamie bellowed over my head. I flew out of the couch, in my surprise.

“Maybe you should consider taking your own advice, asshole.” I complained at him. I say I complained at him because in order to complain to somebody, the person would have to listen. Jamie’s attention was focussed on the whimpering Cameron.

“Why can’t you just shut it and go to sleep, Cam? Jackson isn’t going to let you in! In case you’ve forgotten, you did a very BAD thing to him.” Jamie was ranting. Cameron had been groaning all night and Jamie was a very light sleeper. Preston came storming out of his room.

“What on earth is going on?” He demanded.

“YOU!” Jamie raged. “You’re the reason I can’t get to sleep anymore! Because this maniac won’t leave Jackson alone!”

“Don’t talk to him like that!”

“He needs to be in a hospital. People like him need help. Serious help!” Jamie was frothing at the mouth in his anger. I couldn’t understand how Jackson or Kirk could keep on sleeping. “Like at a hospital!”

“The problem with you is that Jackson’s brainwashed you! He wants you to believe Cameron is seriously ill!”

“He tried to rape a man!”

“Sexually assault. He wasn’t going to actually-”

“Try explaining that brilliant theory to Jackson. I’m sure he would love to hear you explain why his ordeal isn’t that bad because he wasn’t going to be raped.” Preston bit his lip.

“That’s just insensitive!”

“Do you want to know what’s insensitive? Making a man live with the person who has been completely sexually inappropriate with him!” Preston just glared at him; he knew Jamie was right. “Why are you attached to such a freak anyway?”

“You ass!” Preston flew at Jamie and started punching him, his fists flying.

“Whoa!” I grabbed Preston and yanked him off Jamie, who had managed to defend himself pretty well. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Preston shrugged me off before storming into his room and slamming the door shut.

Felicia
“There seems to be no solace from people who have broken up! It’s like they’re trying to jeopardize our relationship.” I joked.

“Yeah. Carson is just moping around the apartment. It’s rather pathetic.”

“Well, Chelsea’s now a permanent fixture on that couch and Celeste refuses to leave her room. She blew an audition, thanks to your sleaze-ball roommate.”

“She did overreact a little.”

“He didn’t defend her from Adriana!” Neil shrugged.

“Don’t get your underwear in a twist.” I pulled away from him a little. “Felcy! Come on. This is our day together. Don’t ruin it by picking a fight.” I wasn’t picking a fight; I was defending my friend. I let it slide because I didn’t feel like having an argument but I didn’t move closer.

“Okay.” I sighed. “Well, everyone in my apartment is depressed. Getting depressed over being dumped makes no sense. The best way to get over a break up is to find a new guy right away.” Neil snorted.

“I’ll keep that in mind. But wouldn’t you get upset if I dumped you?” I smiled, sweetly at him. The truth was, our relationship meant nothing to me. He was good-looking and rich...and funny but he seemed to believe it was a lot more. Yeah, right. But I had to keep playing along. I wasn’t tired of him yet.

“Let’s not find out.” A wonderfully generic answer, though he could have taken it to mean that I never wanted to break up with him, which was hardly the case. A few more weeks and I’d be done with him. He beamed at me, almost proud at how witty I could be. Beaming back, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.

Jackson
Stretching leisurely, I unlocked the dozens of padlocks that sealed me away from Cameron and wandered out into my living room. Jamie was lying on the couch with an icepack covering his left eye.

“Walked into a door?” I asked.

“Shut up.” He replied.

“Glad to see you’re your usual cheerful self.” Kirk and Preston were sitting in the dining room, having breakfast. Cameron was also there but I ignored him.

“Jackson! Did you see what I did?” Preston asked, excitedly.

“Uh...no.” I grabbed the box of cereal as I elbowed Cameron away from me.

“Jamie and I had a fight last night!”

“Ah, so that icepack was covering your handiwork?”

“Yup!”

“May I ask what you were fighting over?” Preston’s face fell and Kirk laughed.

“He was defending Cameron.”

“Jamie?”

“NO! Preston. Jamie was insulting Cameron and Preston went psycho and punched his lights out.”

“There were lights going out!” Jamie hollered from the living room. “He just took me by surprise.”

“You could have just sat on me, Jamie.” Preston grumbled.

“Fuck you.” The reply floated out of the living room. Cameron got strangely excited by those two words.

“Needless to say, I’m on Jamie’s side.” I said, eyeing Cameron suspiciously. The door slammed and Colton slunk in.

“My god, he’s worse than you after Addy dumped your sorry ass, Jack.” Kirk chuckled. I glared at him.

“Your sensitivity with this subject moves me, Kirk.” I snapped.

“I don’t mind, Jackson. My life might as well be over anyway.” Colton sighed. “I went for a walk and then saw the bench where she and I first kissed. I sat down on it and cried.” He moped his way out of the room.

“My god, Kirk. For once, you’re right. He is worse than I was.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

Felicia & Phoebe

Felicia
I returned home, my feet in agony from my four inch Jimmy Choo’s and my back complaining from the stress of the sixty pound bag that weighed me down. I had left home at six this morning and it was now seven at night. Sometimes, I hated owning my own fashion line. But most times, I didn’t. Upon entering I was stunned to find a conglomeration of people clogging up my living room. Maxine, Jessica, Trevor, Nikki, Sasha and Chelsea were congregated around the coffee table.

“What on Earth?”

“Oh, hey.” Maxine grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. “She just broke with Colton. She was sleeping on your couch last night.”

“Shit, I didn’t even notice her when I left this morning.” Maxine grinned.

‘You’re not exactly the most observant of people, Felce.”

“Wow. What happened?”

“She was having an affair with Carson and Colton found out.” I clenched my jaw.

“Cheaters deserve what they get.” I replied, angrily.

“That’s not really fair to say.”

“What’s not fair is pretending to love someone while fucking around with someone behind their back.”

“How can you be so judgemental?”

“And how come you’re so forgiving? You’re usually the first one to cast the stone!” Maxine recoiled like I had slapped her. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a long day. I didn’t mean it.” I placed my fingertips on my temples. Maxine shrugged. “I still don’t feel bad for Chelsea.”

“Well, you’re being close-minded and heartless.”

“Sucks to be me, I guess.” I could feel another fight brewing so I hastily changed the subject.

“How was your day?”

“I worked at home today. They didn’t really need me in the office.” I eyed her, suspiciously.

“They never seem to need you in the office.” Maxine shrugged.

“Guess I’m just that good at my job.”

“Mhm.” I popped into the kitchen to get a beer. As I came back out, the door flew open and Celeste came running in with Alden, hot on her heels. She bounded across the living room and into her bedroom.

“What’s wrong with her?” Sasha asked.

“She just broke up with Kent.” Alden replied.

“WHAT?” I dropped my beer and ran after Celeste with Maxine and Sasha right behind me.

Phoebe
It had been a heavy day at work. Lots of screaming children. One heartbreaking case involving a six year old and bone cancer. I desperately needed to get drunk. The only obstacle denying me my drunken state was that I’d had to stop for groceries on my way home; the problem with living in an apartment with only guys is that nothing ever gets done. Then again, I did have Andre who, while cleaning like a Merry Maid and cooking like a god, was so scatter brained that he could forget things moments upon hearing them. After battling with my keys for a few minutes, I staggered into the apartment, laden with grocery bag. The sight that awaited my eyes caused me to stagger back into the hall.

“Did I enter the wrong house?”

“Are you talking about all these bloody roses?” Spike’s voice floated out to me.

“Must be the right one. There can’t be two people quite as bad tempered as Spike in this apartment building.” The apartment was filled with red and pink roses. From my position at the door, I counted twelve baskets.

“And there’s more in your room.” Connor said as he grabbed the bags from my hands.

“Who on Earth are they from?” My thoughts flew to my veterinary nurse/boyfriend, Richard.

“Not from Richard.” Connor said, gently. “From Marshall Dale. The soccer player from a few doors down.”

“HIM?” I cried, incredulously.

“What do you know? He has a romantic side.”

“And a psycho spendthrift side.”

“He can afford it.”

“What do you mean?” Connor stared at me as if I was an idiot.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know who he is?” I shrugged.

“No clue.” He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

“He’s plays for TFC!”

“Toronto Football Club?”

“YEAH! He’s one of their best players.”

“Well, whoop-dee-do.” I rolled my eyes.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” The door flew open, cutting him off in the middle of his thought.

“Phoebe!” Maxine blazed into the apartment, grabbing my arm. “A Fab Five-WHOA! Roses everywhere.”

“Marshall Dale’s way of apology.”

“It’s also his way of asking you to jump into bed with him.” I blushed, furiously. “Well, aren’t you the cutest thing? You actually blush. How do you keep your hands off of her, Connor?”

“Maybe we should go now, Max.” I said, hurriedly.

“Oh, I don’t.” Connor said, breezily. Maxine pushed past me and moved closer to Connor, who was putting away groceries. “Ever so often, she and I will have a really shitty day and console ourselves with alcohol and each other.”

“Damn you, Connor. Tell everyone in the building, why don’t you?” I snapped, running my hands through my hair. He shrugged.

“It’s only Maxine.”

"What is this Fab Five thing, Max?” I said, silencing him with a glare.

“OH! Celeste. She just broke up with her boyfriend.”

“WHAT?” Connor dropped the bag of sugar in surprise. “Really?” I gave him a warning look. “I mean...that’s dreadful. Perfectly awful.” But I saw the glimmer of a smile that darted across his face as he turned away from us.

“Anyway, let’s go. We’re on comfort duty.”

“But I just got home.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Maxine grabbed my hand and dragged me from my apartment.

Preston & Alden

Preston
I’m not going to say the silence was deafening because I never really understood that phrase. How can no noise deafen you? But the silence in Jessica’s apartment certainly grated on the nerves. I had a mission, a reason to be lurking around Jessica’s apartment while no one was hope. It’s not like I was a creeper......My purpose was to fulfill my dream for the past year and a half. To ask Jessica out. Hopefully to have her say yes. The door flew open and Jessica charged in.

“Hey, Jessie.” I said, casually. She barely glanced at me.

“In a hurry, Preston.” My heart started to sink. I had to tell her today!

“I really need to talk to you. Urgently!”

“Chelsea needs me more. And Colton needs you too so I suggest you return to him.” Curse you, Chelsea. If only you could have chosen a better time to be caught for an affair.

“Colton’s fine.”

Jessica shot me a cold look. “Of course he isn’t.”

“Alright. So he isn’t okay! What am I supposed to do?” This wasn’t the way I had visualized it happening.

“Be a friend, you asshole. He calls you his best friend and you don’t even support him when his fiancée cheats on him?”

“I am supporting him! I just stepped out of the apartment to talk to you! Geez.” She rolled her eyes.

“What do you need to say?” She demanded.

“God, why do you have to be so abrupt?” I snapped.

“Because you’re wasting the time I should be spending with Chelsea!”

“Well, sorr-ee!”

She threw her hands up in despair. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You know what? Forget it; I have nothing to say.”

“FINE!” She stomped out of the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her. I sighed and ran my hands through my blond hair, before chasing after her. She was clomping down the carpeted hall.

“Jess! Wait! I’m sorry.” She kept on walking but her pace slowed down. “I need to ask you something very important.”

“Hurry it up then.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Do you think that...we could....sometime...maybe next Friday....um....see, for the past year....well, no....so, what are you doin.......no....well...okay-”

“Spit it out, Preston!”

“Will you go out with me?” She smiled slightly.

“All that work for that little question? Of course, I’ll go out with you, you moron.” With that, she entered Apartment 5.

Alden
We were lounging around in my apartment. By we, I was referring to Kent, Adriana and myself. Kent and I were relaxing on the couch while Adriana puttered around in the kitchen. After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took a seat on my lap. Adriana and I had been dating for a month and I was already sick of her. I pushed her of my lap, gently.

“There’s plenty of room on the couch.” And you’re not exactly light, sweetheart. I refrained because that was just plain mean. Kent had his god awful screamo music, playing really loudly but I was too tired to yell over it in order to tell him to shut it off. So I just sat through it while Adriana and he chatted. How they accomplished this, with some moron hollering about taking his own life for some emo reason or another, I don’t know. Everything was fine and I was dozing off, only to be woken by another round of nausea-inducing screaming, until Adriana started bitching.

This was a favourite pastime of hers and her chosen victim was Celeste. Annoyed, I got up and headed to the kitchen. Adriana was talking about bad movies, horrible fashion sense and idiotic causes but I zoned out. I often did so when she started to talk. I must confess that the only reason I really started a relationship with her was because of the sex; I can’t lie. It certainly wasn’t because of her wonderful personality. Kent was listening to the nasty derision of his girlfriend in silence. If I were him, I’d have bitch slapped her. Well, considering my gender, I’d have pimp slapped her. I focused on my sandwich. Tomato, pickle, another tomato, lettuce, mayo, more mayo, ham, cheese-the music stopped halfway through a track. I rejoiced in the peace the silence brought until-

“You son of a bitch.” That was definitely Celeste’s voice. I rushed out into the hall. Kent had risen to his feet and Adriana was looking smug. “I didn’t expect anything more from HER but you? I expected-hoped-that you would have the decency to defend your own girlfriend from such-such-cruel, heartless lies!”

“Celeste-”

“Oh, go fuck yourself! We’re over. Finished. We ARE BROKEN UP!” She rushed from the apartment in a swirl of feathers which were shed from her accessory of choice today, a red boa.

“Way to go, dick face.” I snapped at Kent, before chasing after Celeste.

Jared & Chelsea

Jared
“I hate Spike.”

“That’s right, get it all out there!” I clapped my newfound best friend, Connor, on the shoulder.

“But I don’t actually hate Spike!”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t!” He protested.

“Then why’d you come to my apartment?” I was puzzled.
He groaned with frustration. “You cut me off with your stupid pep-talk-mumbo-jumbo, whatever the hell that was.”

“Hey! That was some very effective stress-relieving tip I picked up off a self-help CD.”

“Uh-huh.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, you’re obviously not gonna be much help, so I’m lea-” Just as he made the move to walk out the door, I grabbed his arm.

“I can help you get her.”

“What?!” He started a bit, flushed red. “How’d you know about Celeste?!”

I smirked. “I never said ‘Celeste’, now did I?”

He sighed. “Well, it’s out in the open now....”

Apparently, the guy was suffering from that thing they call Love At First Sight. Well, after a long-time, well-nourished crush on a certain blonde-haired actress. He’d first walked to my room in somewhat of a stupor, and I guess I did jump the gun a bit when I made him do the whole “Repeat After Me” thing halfway through his first sentence...

“Spike can be kind of annoying sometimes. But, guess what? I just met the most-”

“Repeat after me!”

...so that was kind of messy. But, hey, at least it’s all in the open now.

“How’d you know I liked Celeste anyway?” Connor frowned in confusion.

“Oh, well, you walked in in a daze, with the grin of an infatuated idiot, the look I sometimes catch on men’s faces when Adriana walks into the room, so, you know, I just guessed.”

“Adriana?!”

“Yeah, long story cut short: she changes men more often than you take off your clothes. And you’re an Abercrombie & Fitch model.”
He laughed at that. “Well, back to my problem...”

“Hm... I know!”

“What?!” He looked up excitedly. “It’s Halloween soon, isn’t it?” He nodded. “Well, Aladdin Towers hosts a Halloween masked ball every year. I’ll find a way to get Celeste decked out like Cinderella... get her to the ball a bit later than usual... factor in some glass slippers...”

“And I can be Prince Charming!”

I winked, “Fast on the uptake, hm?” and chuckled at my little sexual joke. Maxine would’ve been proud.

“Okay, great! Thanks for the help!” Connor made the move to leave again, this time gleefully anxious.

“No, no, wait. We’re not done yet. Okay, at the party, I’m sure I can organize to have her lose a slipper. And then, for the following weeks, you’ll be playing Secret Admirer. Leave her roses, poems, prose. Leave her things to make her absolutely love your personality. Give her bits of
yourself... actually, yes! Leave hints about who you are!” I started going into a frenzy.

“Compliment her! Yes, yes, ALWAYS compliment her! So while your secret alter ego is wooing her, your true self will also be winning her over!” I may have laughed hysterically a bit. “And then, we’ll play it out like every prince or superhero with an alter ego... we’ll have her be split over your two personas, utterly in love with both, and then... and then... WE’LL REVEAL YOUR SECRET IDENTITY! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” My cackling erupted into a string of coughs.

Connor snapped out of his horrified and amused reverie to slap me on the back. “Whoa, whoa... calm down there.”

“I—ahem—think I—hem-hem—overdid it...” I took a deep breath. “Anyways, the whole idea is playing off a female’s sensitivity for movie-like moments. And all the while, Connor, don’t forget to pay extra attention to being a gentleman. And while you’re acting the part of the Prince, NEVER reveal your identity until the end.” I took both his shoulders and stared hard at his eyes.

“Not even if she BEGS!”

He gulped. “Okay...”

“And that’s it!” I smiled widely. He smiled along, glad that the normal me was back.

“You get the ‘Mad Scientist of the Year’ award, my dear matchmaker friend.”

“I’m in the business of seduction.” I whispered mysteriously. Connor took it as a joke and laughed.

“Well, I’ve gotta go. Places to see, people to do....” I’m pretty sure he winked on his way out.

Chelsea
I glanced at the things on the table before me. A lighter. A photograph. A watch. A necklace. A slightly soiled napkin. And a ring.

The lighter was Colton’s. One of the first things he ever gave me. We’d met at a business conference for up-and-coming young lawyers. He’d had trouble with his lighter because of a sprained wrist, so I lit his cigar for him. We hit it off and, a month later, were involved in a serious relationship. By then, he’d quit smoking, but I kept the lighter as a memorial.

The photograph was a picture of us the night of our first date. We were so young...so reckless. We’d gone all the way to third base. The picture was of the two of us, on the beach, after we’d just made love.

The watch was a gift from Colton’s mother at the dreadful meeting-of-parents. It really wasn’t that bad, now that I thought about it. His mom was very nice.

The necklace—a memory of the first day we opened Rook & Sinai – Attorneys at Law. It also happened to be the day of our first year anniversary.

The napkin was the result of our last date, at a fancy Italian-Greek restaurant. Yes, I know restaurants like that hardly exist. But we’d found one, and the restaurant we found...

...Happened to be the place where Colton popped the question. And that brings us to the ring. To be honest, we were a slow couple. We did everything one at a time, and a couple weeks after we were sure we were both ready. Well, after four years, he finally proposed. And I’d accepted. So that beautiful, princess-cut, 20 karat rock on the coffee table was the result. It had the words
True Love engraved on the inside. What a lie.

Yes, I loved him. And it may have been true love two to three years ago. But I’d be lying if I said the fire hadn’t died down since then.

Colton was a busy man. Between those first two years and the proposal...

What can I say? We had no relationship. He’d always collapse into bed two hours after I was asleep. We never talked to each other at work. Dinner was an awkward affair of contemporary music and silverware clinking. We’d tried buying a puppy to liven things up—the dog ran away and now lives in a happy little country house. And in the mornings, we were both too tired to make breakfast, let alone conversation.

Then, a couple months ago, I found Carson. He worked part time at a model plane shop across the road from my law office. We met up when I was looking for a model plane for Colton’s fourth year anniversary gift. To sum it up, I came, I saw, I made out with someone I barely knew. Later on, when I found out he lived in the same building as me... things got a little easier. When Colton worked late, I came home early and entertained myself. When Colton slept late, I got up early and had some fun. When Colton was on a business trip... I rented a hotel room.

It was nice. Having some real risk—wasn’t that real romance?

But Colton found out. It couldn’t have lasted anyway, but there were better ways of breaking up. I knew that. Yet I was a stupid, stupid shallow bitch to him. He deserved better. But deep down, I knew I needed more than him

Celeste & Connor

Celeste
I rolled out of bed. It was only eight thirty but I enjoyed an occasional early rise. By occasional I meant that every three months or so, I would make an appearance before eleven forty five. So as I stumbled out of my room, seemingly drunken but really just sleepy, I was shocked to find a person sleeping on my couch. Well, it took me twenty minutes to notice her but once I did, I was shocked. Tiptoeing to the couch, I peered over the edge.

“Chelsea?!?!?!” Chelsea woke with a start.

“Oh. Hi, Celeste.” She said this as if it were perfectly normal to be crashing on people’s couches.

“Hi, Chelsea.....I don’t mean to be rude-” Her face darkened as if I had just mentioned a major taboo.

“You’re wondering why I’m here?”

“That would be the reason-yes, I’m wondering why you’re here.” To my utter shock, Chelsea burst into tears. Now, I’m no good around tears. Sasha’s good at that but me....I can hand someone a tissue and smile understandingly but that’s about the extent of my abilities. So of course, faced with this weeping woman, I panicked. “Don’t cry! For the love of God, don’t cry. Look, I’ll give you whatever you want. Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie? It’s rated
Arrrr! Get it?” At this point, I began to laugh hysterically at my own terrible joke.

“Celeste, calm down.” Chelsea dried her tears. “I’m sorry. I lost control like that.” I sat down, weakly in an armchair.

“It’s okay. What happened?”

“Colton caught me making out with Carson.” I stared at her, bug-eyed.

“You’re kidding!”

“No.”

“Damn. You need a drink.” I shuffled over the bar where I proceeded to pour us both a stiff whisky.

“It’s eight thirty.”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” I handed her the glass. “Drink up. It’s good for the soul.” She laughed.

“I thought that was chicken soup.”

“Laced with whiskey.” We both gulped down the drink. “So what do you intend to do? Apologize?” Chelsea shrugged.

“The truth is I’ve been waiting for this relationship to end. I’ve been dating him for four years! FOUR! And he’s told me he loves me TWICE. He’s an unaffectionate ignoramus. Carson was a breath of fresh air.”

“Couldn’t you have chosen a better method?” Chelsea sighed.

“Having an affair was probably not the smartest thing to have done.”

“No. It really wasn’t.” I refilled our glasses.

“What can I do? The deed can’t be undone.”

Connor

“It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour. It’s a neighbourly day in the beauty wood, a neighbourly day for a beauty. Would you be mine? Could you-”

“Shut up already!” I had been singing cheerfully as I prepared breakfast for everybody. The angry response to my singing had been from Spike.

“He’s just happy because he met the girl of his dreams.” Andre said, grumpily. “EVERYONE seems to have met the love of their lives. Connor’s in love with Celeste, Grant’s in love with Adriana, Phoebe’s in love with the writer.”

“I am NOT in love with the writer. I just like how smart he is.”

“Sure.” Spike scoffed.

“But don’t get ahead of yourself, Con.” Phoebe reminded me. “She has a boyfriend.” Nothing could break my spirits; I was flying higher than an eagle on crack.

“Who?”

“Kent Wither.”

“The ugly, blond guy? I could take him ANY DAY!”

“That might very well be the case, Connor but don’t get too cocky. Girls don’t like that.” Phoebe warned.

“Have you seen me, Phoebs? I’m gorgeous.”

Phoebe rolled her eyes, muttering, “And just yesterday, you were ‘humbly’ boasting how modest a model you are.”

“A modest model. Hah! Now that’s an oxy-moron.” Andre joked morosely.

“La la-la la la la la la, la la-la la la la la la...” I kept singing, ignoring my own hypocrisy.

“For the last time, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Spike yelled, throwing a rolled newspaper at me. Everyone turned to look at the fuming accountant.

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” I asked. I didn’t want anything spoiling my mood.

“Whatever.” He sighed and left, taking a box of cigarettes with him. Phoebe looked after him, grimacing. “He only smokes when he’s really upset.”

But we all knew that already.

I put down my pan of frying eggs and turned to Andre, “Hey, can you take care of this for me? Thanks.” Without waiting for a response, I quickly rinsed my hands and was out the door.

Colton & Jackson

Colton
I dragged my feet down the corridor. I was home from a long, gruelling of poring over files for a stupid case that we’d just gotten. Chelsea hadn’t been feeling well so she headed home early. Figuring I’d let her sleep a little while longer, I made a beeline for Preston’s apartment. I let myself in as usual. Cameron was sleeping on his blanket in the corner. Frowning at him, I spoke to Preston.

“He’s still here?”

“Yeah. We decided not to send him away, after all.” He replied. He sitting at the kitchen table, squinting at a sketch book.

“How did Jackson take it?” Preston sighed and looked mournfully at Jackson’s door.

“He took nine hundred dollars.”

“You BRIBED him?”

“No. I bought him a lock set for his room.”

“I see. Any chance of us playing today?”

“Jackson unplugged the PlayStation and locked himself in his room with it.” He muttered,
angrily.

“Damn it.” I grumbled. “Sometimes, I hate him.”

“Tell me about it. I have to live with him.”

“Well, if we can’t play, there’s no sense of me staying here.”

“Gee, thanks, Colt. Glad to see you love my company.” I ignored him and walked out. I was extra quiet when I opened the door because I figured Chelsea would be sleeping. The sight that beheld my confused eyes caused me to drop my briefcase and stand there in shocked silence. Right there, in the living room, before my very eyes stood Chelsea and Carson, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing passionately.

Jackson
I glanced at the luminous clock face. The digits 3:45 glared, menacingly back at me. Cameron tried the door again but of course, with no avail since I had locked it. He had tried to open the door every fifteen minutes throughout the night. I desperately wanted to get to sleep and possibly (hopefully) dream about curly haired fans. Maxie had been after me to move on. Adriana and I had dated for almost a year before she broke up with me. Apparently, I was too quiet and undemonstrative. She needed bushels of love but any regular person would have figured that out two weeks into the relationship as opposed to days before our eleventh month anniversary. I sighed. That was six months ago and while she had a steady stream of men, I had gone on one date who left halfway through the dinner. Until Phoebe. She struck me as the sort of person who didn’t throw unnecessary tantrums or require constant displays of nauseating affection. She also seemed like a person who would stick around for an entire dinner even if I did keep making constant references to my ex-girlfriend. And she liked my novels. Adriana hated all my novels. Well....she hated all the ones she knew I wrote. She had a soft spot for a series of super sappy romance novels by a writer named Jacqueline Hennessy.

“Jackson.” I heard Cameron whispering. “Let me in.”

“CAMERON!” Preston hollered. “Get your ass back to sleep and stop bothering Jackson. Or else.” The ‘or else’ implied Cameron being thrown out of the house. I was tempted to let Cameron into the room, then accuse him of breaking in but I couldn’t be that mean. However, thinking of Adriana gave me an idea for another novel. Not the kind I was ‘famous’ for. The more I thought about the plot, the more convinced I became that ‘Jacqueline Hennessy’ should publish a new book.

Marshall & Maxine

Marshall
I was ridden with guilt. Over the Phoebe situation. True, I wouldn’t have felt so guilty had she not been extremely good looking or if she had been a man but nonetheless, I was racked with feelings of guilt. Yet I still had Adriana.

“How are you, you sexy son of a bitch?” Adriana addressed me.

“I’m fine. How are your girls?” She grinned at me.

“They miss you, hon. And I miss your team mates. They bring me good business.” I grinned back.

“I’ll let them know but we’re being driven to the bone by our coach. He’s being such an asshole.” Adriana leaned over the couch that I was sitting on and began to massage my shoulders. “That feels good.” Her fingers pressed deep against my sore shoulder muscles. “In more ways than one.” I added as the warmth of her touch spread further south. Adriana gave a silvery laugh.

“Keep your thoughts PG.”

“They’re never PG around you, darling.” I murmured. My eyes drifted closed but the face that floated in front of me was not Adriana’s but Phoebe’s angered expression.

“Shit!” Adriana’s voice broke me out of my reverie. “I have work. My main working girl quit on me and I don’t trust the others. See you later.” She kissed my cheek and raced out of the apartment. I sighed. Now it was just me and my thoughts and anyone who knew me knew that that resulted badly. The door slammed as my roommate Alden entered.

“Hey, Marshall. That girl you’ve been pining over is in the hall.”

“Really?!?!?” I sprang up from my chair.

“Yeah. She-” I didn’t wait for what else he had to say; I was out of the apartment quicker than a dog with its tail on fire......maybe not the best comparison. But there she was, standing outside her apartment in all her glory.

“PHOEBE!” I called out as she inserted her key into the lock. She turned around with a smile but when she caught sight of me, her face froze and she turned back around, entering her apartment.

“Wait! No!” I held the door open.

“What do you want, Mr. Dale?” She asked coldly.

“I want to apologize for what happened at the party. We like to have a little fun.”

“Well, that little fun cost me and my roommates a lot of money so next time, Mr. Dale, do me a favour and have your ‘little’ fun somewhere that won’t destroy any of my personal property.” Her voice didn’t rise; she just stated her short speech in a cold, impersonal tone. “If you call that little fun, I don’t ever want to be around when you’re having lots of it.” With that, she slammed the door in my face. I gave the door a sad, puppy dog look but unless she was looking through the peep hole which I highly doubt she was, it would have no affect. Yet while she was scolding me, a plan had begun to formulate in my head. Now that I really considered it, it might be crazy enough to work.

Maxine
“You have been gathered here today to discuss the possible induction of another member into our group.” I called out. Celeste, Sasha and Felicia completely ignored me; they were much too engrossed in their Seventeen magazine. “DAMN IT!” I poked their magazine with a poker from the fireplace. “Pay attention. It’s like getting hyper four year olds to sit still.” Celeste rolled her eyes at me.

“I don’t see why this has to be a formal meeting. We all really like Phoebe; just invite her to have dinner with us. No need for a Frivolous Four meeting!”

“We need to decide a new name!” I snapped, frustrated. “W can’t be the Frivolous Four with five members!”

“I’m going to go find Phoebe and bring her here.” Felicia suggested. “You guys can puzzle over it while I’m gone.” Without even waiting for our responses, she was off.

“Great.” I muttered. Sasha laughed.

“It’s okay, Maxie. We can be the...Frivolous Five.” I shot her a withering look.

“That’s SO unoriginal.”

“Whatever. You decide.” Sasha turned back to her magazine.

“How about the Fantabulous Five?” Silence from Celeste and Sasha. Again with the magazine.

“How about a vote?” No nods, no agreement. “Gee, what a great idea, Max! Let’s vote! OKAY! All in favour of renaming ourselves the Fantabulous Five, raise their hands.” I was being ignored so I decided to hold my own meeting with myself. “WONDERFUL! Everyone is in agreement.” I cheered myself on. At this point, Felicia entered with Phoebe in tow.

“Hey, Phoebe!” I greeted her, enthusiastically. I could see she was still a little nervous around me.

“Phoebs!” Celeste said, warmly. Sasha just waved.

“Phoebe, we have decided to honour you by letting you join our private ‘circle’.” I told her, excitedly. Phoebe smiled, tolerantly.

“Why, thank you, Maxie. That’s awfully swell of you.” It took me a second to realize she was mocking me; I knew that mocking tone. In fact, I USED that mocking tone, everyday and on a variety of people. The anger that the tone had been used on me was swamped by the glee I felt that I had found a kindred, sarcastic spirit. Other than Jackson, who was plain boring sometimes.

“I think I love you.” Phoebe laughed.

“What’re you reading?” She placed herself between Celeste and Sasha.

“Seventeen.”

“Don’t you want to know the name of the circle? Or what we do?” I asked, still excited.

“Not really.” Phoebe replied, frankly. “Oooh, I love those shoes.”

“Oh, Maxie! I’d love to! What’s it called?” I began talking to myself once again. “Well, Phoebe. We’re a group of close girlfriends who provide each other with daily laughs, moral support and kick ass protection. And our name is the Fantabulous Five.” Phoebe looked up.

“That’s too....weird. Plus fantabulous isn’t a word. How about the Fabulous Five?”

“The Fab Five......” Celeste grinned. “It’s so corny it’s perfect!”