Posts
Alden
Adriana snored when she slept. Well, less snored and more imitated a jack hammer. I could never sleep when she slept over; not that I complained about being kept awake by a woman but generally, we would be doing fun stuff as opposed to lying in bed, staring the ceiling. Adriana had her arm clamped around my chest so if I wanted to sneak off and catch some shut-eye in the living room, I couldn’t. So my imagination began to wander which inevitably took me to Sasha. She was exceptionally beautiful woman. More beautiful than Adriana though Adriana had this raw, sexual energy about her that Sasha didn’t seem to possess. She did, however, have an actual moral code that she followed vigilantly. For Adriana, the word ‘moral’ didn’t have a place in her vocabulary. I could respect Sasha and I did respect her. Greatly, in fact. Which was why I wanted her so badly. In terms of respectability, most of the girls I had dated came from the lower end of the spectrum. It was unfortunate but they were easy. It does get boring after a while though. Being a successful R&B artist meant that women regularly threw themselves at my feet but Sasha never did. Ever. Glancing at the jackhammer, I made a decision. Adriana had burnt out. I was done with her. Shutting my eyes, I reminded myself to tell Maxine to buy me a diamond bracelet for Adriana. No girlfriend of mine ever left without a....parting gift.
Nikki
“Do you even realize how much money you waste on whips?” I demanded of Adriana. I was auditing her bloody ‘flower shop’. Adriana flitted around her office.
“They’re not whips, Nikki, darling. They’re decorative ribbons.”
“If they’re made out of leather, they’re whips.” I grumbled.
“The men pay extra if they get smacked around a bit.” Adriana continued to speak as if she hadn’t heard me. “You wouldn’t understand, Nikki. It’s too complex for your innocent mind.” I glared at her.
“I’m not that innocent.” I grumbled. Previous experience had taught to mumble my disagreement with Adriana. She didn’t like being disagreed with and her wrath was terrifying. “Addy, I understand...your need for more money. But really, can’t you ask your girls to be gentler with the whips?”
“Oh, stop your nagging, Nikki. I’ve got better things to do than listen to your lectures.” She snapped. “Just finish the damn auditing.” She stomped out of her office. I got the whiff of whorish perfume wafting in as she slammed the door behind her. Adriana’s business was code named the “Flower Shop” but was really a gentlemen’s club for the scum of the male gender. Adriana’s loud laughter floated through the walls and assaulted my ears. In anger, I slammed the books shut. She can do her own stupid auditing. After glaring at the books for a few minutes, I sighed and opened them up again.
Spike
“That thing is hideous. It is repulsive to look at and frankly, is offensive!” I yelled at Andre.
“It’s a work of art!” Andre yelled back. The disputed object was a two foot Venus de Milo statue carved out of marble and encrusted with fake jewels. Phoebe and Connor stood, impassively.
“It’s FUGLY!”
“You cannot appreciate the inner workings of the artistic mind, Spike. I’m afraid you’re ignorant! Completely and utterly ignorant! Phoebe! What do you think of this?” Phoebe paled.
“Uh...my opinion? My opinion hardly matters, Andre.....It’s what Connor thinks that’s important.” Connor shot Phoebe a dirty look.
“I don’t know, Andre. Honestly. If you like it, I suppose I feel the same way.” I sneered at their inability to express their true dislike.
“What they’re TRYING to say is that it is one of the ugliest things they have ever laid eyes on.”
“That’s a little mean.” Phoebe said, softly.
“No one cares what you have to say, Phoebe. You’re the ultimate empath. Always caring about what other people think.” Phoebe threw her hands up in the air.
“I’m not talking to him when he acts like this.”
“How is he being different from any other day?” Connor snorted. “Seems like the same egotistical jerk as always.”
“What do you think of the statue, Grant?”
“It’s naked. I’m not looking.” True enough, Grant was staring at the wall, away from the topless statue.
“Oh, forget it.” I snapped at him. “You’re useless anyway.”
“Stuff a sock in it.” Phoebe replied. “Leave Grant alone. Just because he’s more childlike than others doesn’t mean he’s useless.” I rolled my eyes at her and she made a face at me. I turned my back on her and refocused my attention on Andre.
“You have a choice, Andre. Me or that infernal statue.”
“It’s an easy decision, Spike. I stand beside my choices. If you don’t like my statue, you can march your butt out of here.” I gaped at him.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Do I look like I’m joking?” I was speechless. I was being thrown out of my very own apartment by a raving lunatic with an ugly statue.
“Fine! Fine! I’ll go!” I glared at Phoebe and Connor who were smirking. “But you’ll be begging me to come back. Just watch!”
“Sure, Spikey.” Phoebe said, sarcastically. “We’ll be on our knees.”
“What will we do without our daily dose of asshole?” Connor said in an anguished voice. I stormed into my room and flung a couple of basics into a bag. They’re all dicks. They’ll want me back eventually. I stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind me, making Phoebe jump in surprise.
“I hate you all.” I snarled as I flew out of the apartment door.
Maxine
I was a genius. That was the fact of the matter. Chelsea was miserable and Colton was miserable. Actually, so was Carson but he didn’t really matter. Colton was reasonable; if I spoke to him, he would eventually see the light and come to his senses. Chelsea was truly sorry and everyone makes mistakes. So I set out of my apartment, mid-afternoon on a Saturday with a purpose. The dweebs were at it when I arrived, bickering over the game controllers. I coughed gently, hoping to get their attention without having to raise my voice. Subtlety is lost on men like them.
“Hey, dumbasses!” I hollered. There was a silence as Kirk, Preston, Jamie and Colton froze to search for the source of the voice. “I might be short and skinny but I’m not that invisible.”
“Oh, Maxine. Hey.” Preston greeted me as he kneed Jamie in the crotch.
“Whoa, Jamie. What happened to your eye?” It was black and swollen.
“Preston.” Jamie replied I waited for some sort of explanation but all I heard were animalistic (think: pig) grunts.
“Colton, can I talk to you?” He shrugged and the boys cheered over having one less competitor.
“Sure. Make it quick though.” He seemed to be much better now. I had seen him weeping on a bench, earlier this morning.
“It’s about Chelsea.”
“I don’t want to talk-” I silenced him with the wave of my hand.
“Too bad. I want to talk so we talk.” He sighed. “Listen. You’re both miserable.”
“I’m fine-”
“You were crying on a bench like a homeless person.”
“I’m fine now.”
“No, you’re not. I can see it.”
“What does it matter? She clearly wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s not true! She still loves you. She just...went astray, that’s all.”
“Astray? So she wandered into Carson’s arms?”
“If you use that imagery, yes!” I decided to attack him personally. “It’s not only her fault. You’re not exactly the most loving person there is. You’re a workaholic with barely enough to time to eat, let alone care for a fiancée. She was lonely.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“You act as if it’s that easy to talk to you! You ignore things you don’t want to hear.” He sighed and I could see that I was getting through to him. “Come on. Fix your relationship. You want it. She wants it. You love her. You can’t give up on love, just because a little thing-”
“She had sex with another man.”
“Maybe not so little a thing. But still! She’s sorry.”
“Really?”
“She hasn’t stopped crying.”
“Really?” He cracked a smile. Inwardly, I marvelled at the perverseness of human nature; we take pleasure from hearing our loved ones are grieving over us.
“Yes!”
“I want to talk to her first.”
“But are you open to the idea of a reconciliation?” He sighed.
“Now I am.” Bubbling over with excitement, I practically floated back to my apartment.
“Chelsea, darling!” I called out, waltzing into the living room.
“Yes?”
“I just spoke to Colton.” Chelsea raised her red rimmed eyes, sorrowfully.
“What’d he say?”
“He’s willing to talk about a reconciliation.” Chelsea’s jaw dropped and an expression of joyful hope danced across her face.
“What?” From the tone of her voice, maybe that wasn’t joyful hope dancing across. “Are you serious?”
“I negotiated it.” Chelsea gulped.
“Why would you do that?”
“I-I...I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“No, Max.” She smacked her head against the table. “This is the exact opposite of what I wanted.”
23 December 2008
03 December 2008
Sasha & Colton; Felicia & Jackson
Sasha
Celeste had just about stopped weeping by two in the morning. Felicia had conked out by ten thirty and no one had the heart to wake her. Maxine fell asleep shortly after Celeste. The only people left awake were me and Phoebe.
“I’m an insomniac.” Phoebe confessed.
“I am, too.” I replied. “I’m usually up cooking at this time of night.”
“This late?”
“Pressures of being the owner of a business.” Phoebe smiled, understandingly.
“I know. My clinic demands so much of my time.”
“Wow. That’s cool. I own my own catering company. Balas Catering. Not terribly inventive, I'm afraid.” She laughed
“It's okay." She sighed. "Owning your own business is tiring but wonderful.” And so, the conversation continued on its same boring path as we discussed the joys and sorrows of owning a business. Until it took a turn onto the personal side.
“One recommendation I will offer to you is never date at work.” I cocked my eyebrow at her as she sipped her glass of Pepsi. “I was dating my nurse, Richard.”
“How’d that work out?”
“Awful. He’s on leave and despite his promise to call every two days, I haven’t received a single call and it’s been two weeks. Not even a damn postcard.” She shrugged. “What about you? Any guys in your life?” My thoughts flew to Jackson.
“No. Well...yes.” She waited, patiently. “I’m attracted to this guy; so I don’t like him that way yet.”
“So who is he?”
“Jackson Hines.” She smiled.
“The writer?”
“Yeah. You know him?”
“I got the chance to make his acquaintance at my party.”
“Do you usually speak weirdly?” Phoebe sighed.
“Generally.”
“Good to know.”
Colton
“Shut the hell up!” Jamie bellowed over my head. I flew out of the couch, in my surprise.
“Maybe you should consider taking your own advice, asshole.” I complained at him. I say I complained at him because in order to complain to somebody, the person would have to listen. Jamie’s attention was focussed on the whimpering Cameron.
“Why can’t you just shut it and go to sleep, Cam? Jackson isn’t going to let you in! In case you’ve forgotten, you did a very BAD thing to him.” Jamie was ranting. Cameron had been groaning all night and Jamie was a very light sleeper. Preston came storming out of his room.
“What on earth is going on?” He demanded.
“YOU!” Jamie raged. “You’re the reason I can’t get to sleep anymore! Because this maniac won’t leave Jackson alone!”
“Don’t talk to him like that!”
“He needs to be in a hospital. People like him need help. Serious help!” Jamie was frothing at the mouth in his anger. I couldn’t understand how Jackson or Kirk could keep on sleeping. “Like at a hospital!”
“The problem with you is that Jackson’s brainwashed you! He wants you to believe Cameron is seriously ill!”
“He tried to rape a man!”
“Sexually assault. He wasn’t going to actually-”
“Try explaining that brilliant theory to Jackson. I’m sure he would love to hear you explain why his ordeal isn’t that bad because he wasn’t going to be raped.” Preston bit his lip.
“That’s just insensitive!”
“Do you want to know what’s insensitive? Making a man live with the person who has been completely sexually inappropriate with him!” Preston just glared at him; he knew Jamie was right. “Why are you attached to such a freak anyway?”
“You ass!” Preston flew at Jamie and started punching him, his fists flying.
“Whoa!” I grabbed Preston and yanked him off Jamie, who had managed to defend himself pretty well. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Preston shrugged me off before storming into his room and slamming the door shut.
Felicia
“There seems to be no solace from people who have broken up! It’s like they’re trying to jeopardize our relationship.” I joked.
“Yeah. Carson is just moping around the apartment. It’s rather pathetic.”
“Well, Chelsea’s now a permanent fixture on that couch and Celeste refuses to leave her room. She blew an audition, thanks to your sleaze-ball roommate.”
“She did overreact a little.”
“He didn’t defend her from Adriana!” Neil shrugged.
“Don’t get your underwear in a twist.” I pulled away from him a little. “Felcy! Come on. This is our day together. Don’t ruin it by picking a fight.” I wasn’t picking a fight; I was defending my friend. I let it slide because I didn’t feel like having an argument but I didn’t move closer.
“Okay.” I sighed. “Well, everyone in my apartment is depressed. Getting depressed over being dumped makes no sense. The best way to get over a break up is to find a new guy right away.” Neil snorted.
“I’ll keep that in mind. But wouldn’t you get upset if I dumped you?” I smiled, sweetly at him. The truth was, our relationship meant nothing to me. He was good-looking and rich...and funny but he seemed to believe it was a lot more. Yeah, right. But I had to keep playing along. I wasn’t tired of him yet.
“Let’s not find out.” A wonderfully generic answer, though he could have taken it to mean that I never wanted to break up with him, which was hardly the case. A few more weeks and I’d be done with him. He beamed at me, almost proud at how witty I could be. Beaming back, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.
Jackson
Stretching leisurely, I unlocked the dozens of padlocks that sealed me away from Cameron and wandered out into my living room. Jamie was lying on the couch with an icepack covering his left eye.
“Walked into a door?” I asked.
“Shut up.” He replied.
“Glad to see you’re your usual cheerful self.” Kirk and Preston were sitting in the dining room, having breakfast. Cameron was also there but I ignored him.
“Jackson! Did you see what I did?” Preston asked, excitedly.
“Uh...no.” I grabbed the box of cereal as I elbowed Cameron away from me.
“Jamie and I had a fight last night!”
“Ah, so that icepack was covering your handiwork?”
“Yup!”
“May I ask what you were fighting over?” Preston’s face fell and Kirk laughed.
“He was defending Cameron.”
“Jamie?”
“NO! Preston. Jamie was insulting Cameron and Preston went psycho and punched his lights out.”
“There were lights going out!” Jamie hollered from the living room. “He just took me by surprise.”
“You could have just sat on me, Jamie.” Preston grumbled.
“Fuck you.” The reply floated out of the living room. Cameron got strangely excited by those two words.
“Needless to say, I’m on Jamie’s side.” I said, eyeing Cameron suspiciously. The door slammed and Colton slunk in.
“My god, he’s worse than you after Addy dumped your sorry ass, Jack.” Kirk chuckled. I glared at him.
“Your sensitivity with this subject moves me, Kirk.” I snapped.
“I don’t mind, Jackson. My life might as well be over anyway.” Colton sighed. “I went for a walk and then saw the bench where she and I first kissed. I sat down on it and cried.” He moped his way out of the room.
“My god, Kirk. For once, you’re right. He is worse than I was.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
Celeste had just about stopped weeping by two in the morning. Felicia had conked out by ten thirty and no one had the heart to wake her. Maxine fell asleep shortly after Celeste. The only people left awake were me and Phoebe.
“I’m an insomniac.” Phoebe confessed.
“I am, too.” I replied. “I’m usually up cooking at this time of night.”
“This late?”
“Pressures of being the owner of a business.” Phoebe smiled, understandingly.
“I know. My clinic demands so much of my time.”
“Wow. That’s cool. I own my own catering company. Balas Catering. Not terribly inventive, I'm afraid.” She laughed
“It's okay." She sighed. "Owning your own business is tiring but wonderful.” And so, the conversation continued on its same boring path as we discussed the joys and sorrows of owning a business. Until it took a turn onto the personal side.
“One recommendation I will offer to you is never date at work.” I cocked my eyebrow at her as she sipped her glass of Pepsi. “I was dating my nurse, Richard.”
“How’d that work out?”
“Awful. He’s on leave and despite his promise to call every two days, I haven’t received a single call and it’s been two weeks. Not even a damn postcard.” She shrugged. “What about you? Any guys in your life?” My thoughts flew to Jackson.
“No. Well...yes.” She waited, patiently. “I’m attracted to this guy; so I don’t like him that way yet.”
“So who is he?”
“Jackson Hines.” She smiled.
“The writer?”
“Yeah. You know him?”
“I got the chance to make his acquaintance at my party.”
“Do you usually speak weirdly?” Phoebe sighed.
“Generally.”
“Good to know.”
Colton
“Shut the hell up!” Jamie bellowed over my head. I flew out of the couch, in my surprise.
“Maybe you should consider taking your own advice, asshole.” I complained at him. I say I complained at him because in order to complain to somebody, the person would have to listen. Jamie’s attention was focussed on the whimpering Cameron.
“Why can’t you just shut it and go to sleep, Cam? Jackson isn’t going to let you in! In case you’ve forgotten, you did a very BAD thing to him.” Jamie was ranting. Cameron had been groaning all night and Jamie was a very light sleeper. Preston came storming out of his room.
“What on earth is going on?” He demanded.
“YOU!” Jamie raged. “You’re the reason I can’t get to sleep anymore! Because this maniac won’t leave Jackson alone!”
“Don’t talk to him like that!”
“He needs to be in a hospital. People like him need help. Serious help!” Jamie was frothing at the mouth in his anger. I couldn’t understand how Jackson or Kirk could keep on sleeping. “Like at a hospital!”
“The problem with you is that Jackson’s brainwashed you! He wants you to believe Cameron is seriously ill!”
“He tried to rape a man!”
“Sexually assault. He wasn’t going to actually-”
“Try explaining that brilliant theory to Jackson. I’m sure he would love to hear you explain why his ordeal isn’t that bad because he wasn’t going to be raped.” Preston bit his lip.
“That’s just insensitive!”
“Do you want to know what’s insensitive? Making a man live with the person who has been completely sexually inappropriate with him!” Preston just glared at him; he knew Jamie was right. “Why are you attached to such a freak anyway?”
“You ass!” Preston flew at Jamie and started punching him, his fists flying.
“Whoa!” I grabbed Preston and yanked him off Jamie, who had managed to defend himself pretty well. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Preston shrugged me off before storming into his room and slamming the door shut.
Felicia
“There seems to be no solace from people who have broken up! It’s like they’re trying to jeopardize our relationship.” I joked.
“Yeah. Carson is just moping around the apartment. It’s rather pathetic.”
“Well, Chelsea’s now a permanent fixture on that couch and Celeste refuses to leave her room. She blew an audition, thanks to your sleaze-ball roommate.”
“She did overreact a little.”
“He didn’t defend her from Adriana!” Neil shrugged.
“Don’t get your underwear in a twist.” I pulled away from him a little. “Felcy! Come on. This is our day together. Don’t ruin it by picking a fight.” I wasn’t picking a fight; I was defending my friend. I let it slide because I didn’t feel like having an argument but I didn’t move closer.
“Okay.” I sighed. “Well, everyone in my apartment is depressed. Getting depressed over being dumped makes no sense. The best way to get over a break up is to find a new guy right away.” Neil snorted.
“I’ll keep that in mind. But wouldn’t you get upset if I dumped you?” I smiled, sweetly at him. The truth was, our relationship meant nothing to me. He was good-looking and rich...and funny but he seemed to believe it was a lot more. Yeah, right. But I had to keep playing along. I wasn’t tired of him yet.
“Let’s not find out.” A wonderfully generic answer, though he could have taken it to mean that I never wanted to break up with him, which was hardly the case. A few more weeks and I’d be done with him. He beamed at me, almost proud at how witty I could be. Beaming back, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.
Jackson
Stretching leisurely, I unlocked the dozens of padlocks that sealed me away from Cameron and wandered out into my living room. Jamie was lying on the couch with an icepack covering his left eye.
“Walked into a door?” I asked.
“Shut up.” He replied.
“Glad to see you’re your usual cheerful self.” Kirk and Preston were sitting in the dining room, having breakfast. Cameron was also there but I ignored him.
“Jackson! Did you see what I did?” Preston asked, excitedly.
“Uh...no.” I grabbed the box of cereal as I elbowed Cameron away from me.
“Jamie and I had a fight last night!”
“Ah, so that icepack was covering your handiwork?”
“Yup!”
“May I ask what you were fighting over?” Preston’s face fell and Kirk laughed.
“He was defending Cameron.”
“Jamie?”
“NO! Preston. Jamie was insulting Cameron and Preston went psycho and punched his lights out.”
“There were lights going out!” Jamie hollered from the living room. “He just took me by surprise.”
“You could have just sat on me, Jamie.” Preston grumbled.
“Fuck you.” The reply floated out of the living room. Cameron got strangely excited by those two words.
“Needless to say, I’m on Jamie’s side.” I said, eyeing Cameron suspiciously. The door slammed and Colton slunk in.
“My god, he’s worse than you after Addy dumped your sorry ass, Jack.” Kirk chuckled. I glared at him.
“Your sensitivity with this subject moves me, Kirk.” I snapped.
“I don’t mind, Jackson. My life might as well be over anyway.” Colton sighed. “I went for a walk and then saw the bench where she and I first kissed. I sat down on it and cried.” He moped his way out of the room.
“My god, Kirk. For once, you’re right. He is worse than I was.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
12 November 2008
Felicia & Phoebe
Felicia
I returned home, my feet in agony from my four inch Jimmy Choo’s and my back complaining from the stress of the sixty pound bag that weighed me down. I had left home at six this morning and it was now seven at night. Sometimes, I hated owning my own fashion line. But most times, I didn’t. Upon entering I was stunned to find a conglomeration of people clogging up my living room. Maxine, Jessica, Trevor, Nikki, Sasha and Chelsea were congregated around the coffee table.
“What on Earth?”
“Oh, hey.” Maxine grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. “She just broke with Colton. She was sleeping on your couch last night.”
“Shit, I didn’t even notice her when I left this morning.” Maxine grinned.
‘You’re not exactly the most observant of people, Felce.”
“Wow. What happened?”
“She was having an affair with Carson and Colton found out.” I clenched my jaw.
“Cheaters deserve what they get.” I replied, angrily.
“That’s not really fair to say.”
“What’s not fair is pretending to love someone while fucking around with someone behind their back.”
“How can you be so judgemental?”
“And how come you’re so forgiving? You’re usually the first one to cast the stone!” Maxine recoiled like I had slapped her. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a long day. I didn’t mean it.” I placed my fingertips on my temples. Maxine shrugged. “I still don’t feel bad for Chelsea.”
“Well, you’re being close-minded and heartless.”
“Sucks to be me, I guess.” I could feel another fight brewing so I hastily changed the subject.
“How was your day?”
“I worked at home today. They didn’t really need me in the office.” I eyed her, suspiciously.
“They never seem to need you in the office.” Maxine shrugged.
“Guess I’m just that good at my job.”
“Mhm.” I popped into the kitchen to get a beer. As I came back out, the door flew open and Celeste came running in with Alden, hot on her heels. She bounded across the living room and into her bedroom.
“What’s wrong with her?” Sasha asked.
“She just broke up with Kent.” Alden replied.
“WHAT?” I dropped my beer and ran after Celeste with Maxine and Sasha right behind me.
Phoebe
It had been a heavy day at work. Lots of screaming children. One heartbreaking case involving a six year old and bone cancer. I desperately needed to get drunk. The only obstacle denying me my drunken state was that I’d had to stop for groceries on my way home; the problem with living in an apartment with only guys is that nothing ever gets done. Then again, I did have Andre who, while cleaning like a Merry Maid and cooking like a god, was so scatter brained that he could forget things moments upon hearing them. After battling with my keys for a few minutes, I staggered into the apartment, laden with grocery bag. The sight that awaited my eyes caused me to stagger back into the hall.
“Did I enter the wrong house?”
“Are you talking about all these bloody roses?” Spike’s voice floated out to me.
“Must be the right one. There can’t be two people quite as bad tempered as Spike in this apartment building.” The apartment was filled with red and pink roses. From my position at the door, I counted twelve baskets.
“And there’s more in your room.” Connor said as he grabbed the bags from my hands.
“Who on Earth are they from?” My thoughts flew to my veterinary nurse/boyfriend, Richard.
“Not from Richard.” Connor said, gently. “From Marshall Dale. The soccer player from a few doors down.”
“HIM?” I cried, incredulously.
“What do you know? He has a romantic side.”
“And a psycho spendthrift side.”
“He can afford it.”
“What do you mean?” Connor stared at me as if I was an idiot.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know who he is?” I shrugged.
“No clue.” He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.
“He’s plays for TFC!”
“Toronto Football Club?”
“YEAH! He’s one of their best players.”
“Well, whoop-dee-do.” I rolled my eyes.
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” The door flew open, cutting him off in the middle of his thought.
“Phoebe!” Maxine blazed into the apartment, grabbing my arm. “A Fab Five-WHOA! Roses everywhere.”
“Marshall Dale’s way of apology.”
“It’s also his way of asking you to jump into bed with him.” I blushed, furiously. “Well, aren’t you the cutest thing? You actually blush. How do you keep your hands off of her, Connor?”
“Maybe we should go now, Max.” I said, hurriedly.
“Oh, I don’t.” Connor said, breezily. Maxine pushed past me and moved closer to Connor, who was putting away groceries. “Ever so often, she and I will have a really shitty day and console ourselves with alcohol and each other.”
“Damn you, Connor. Tell everyone in the building, why don’t you?” I snapped, running my hands through my hair. He shrugged.
“It’s only Maxine.”
"What is this Fab Five thing, Max?” I said, silencing him with a glare.
“OH! Celeste. She just broke up with her boyfriend.”
“WHAT?” Connor dropped the bag of sugar in surprise. “Really?” I gave him a warning look. “I mean...that’s dreadful. Perfectly awful.” But I saw the glimmer of a smile that darted across his face as he turned away from us.
“Anyway, let’s go. We’re on comfort duty.”
“But I just got home.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Maxine grabbed my hand and dragged me from my apartment.
I returned home, my feet in agony from my four inch Jimmy Choo’s and my back complaining from the stress of the sixty pound bag that weighed me down. I had left home at six this morning and it was now seven at night. Sometimes, I hated owning my own fashion line. But most times, I didn’t. Upon entering I was stunned to find a conglomeration of people clogging up my living room. Maxine, Jessica, Trevor, Nikki, Sasha and Chelsea were congregated around the coffee table.
“What on Earth?”
“Oh, hey.” Maxine grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. “She just broke with Colton. She was sleeping on your couch last night.”
“Shit, I didn’t even notice her when I left this morning.” Maxine grinned.
‘You’re not exactly the most observant of people, Felce.”
“Wow. What happened?”
“She was having an affair with Carson and Colton found out.” I clenched my jaw.
“Cheaters deserve what they get.” I replied, angrily.
“That’s not really fair to say.”
“What’s not fair is pretending to love someone while fucking around with someone behind their back.”
“How can you be so judgemental?”
“And how come you’re so forgiving? You’re usually the first one to cast the stone!” Maxine recoiled like I had slapped her. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a long day. I didn’t mean it.” I placed my fingertips on my temples. Maxine shrugged. “I still don’t feel bad for Chelsea.”
“Well, you’re being close-minded and heartless.”
“Sucks to be me, I guess.” I could feel another fight brewing so I hastily changed the subject.
“How was your day?”
“I worked at home today. They didn’t really need me in the office.” I eyed her, suspiciously.
“They never seem to need you in the office.” Maxine shrugged.
“Guess I’m just that good at my job.”
“Mhm.” I popped into the kitchen to get a beer. As I came back out, the door flew open and Celeste came running in with Alden, hot on her heels. She bounded across the living room and into her bedroom.
“What’s wrong with her?” Sasha asked.
“She just broke up with Kent.” Alden replied.
“WHAT?” I dropped my beer and ran after Celeste with Maxine and Sasha right behind me.
Phoebe
It had been a heavy day at work. Lots of screaming children. One heartbreaking case involving a six year old and bone cancer. I desperately needed to get drunk. The only obstacle denying me my drunken state was that I’d had to stop for groceries on my way home; the problem with living in an apartment with only guys is that nothing ever gets done. Then again, I did have Andre who, while cleaning like a Merry Maid and cooking like a god, was so scatter brained that he could forget things moments upon hearing them. After battling with my keys for a few minutes, I staggered into the apartment, laden with grocery bag. The sight that awaited my eyes caused me to stagger back into the hall.
“Did I enter the wrong house?”
“Are you talking about all these bloody roses?” Spike’s voice floated out to me.
“Must be the right one. There can’t be two people quite as bad tempered as Spike in this apartment building.” The apartment was filled with red and pink roses. From my position at the door, I counted twelve baskets.
“And there’s more in your room.” Connor said as he grabbed the bags from my hands.
“Who on Earth are they from?” My thoughts flew to my veterinary nurse/boyfriend, Richard.
“Not from Richard.” Connor said, gently. “From Marshall Dale. The soccer player from a few doors down.”
“HIM?” I cried, incredulously.
“What do you know? He has a romantic side.”
“And a psycho spendthrift side.”
“He can afford it.”
“What do you mean?” Connor stared at me as if I was an idiot.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know who he is?” I shrugged.
“No clue.” He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.
“He’s plays for TFC!”
“Toronto Football Club?”
“YEAH! He’s one of their best players.”
“Well, whoop-dee-do.” I rolled my eyes.
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” The door flew open, cutting him off in the middle of his thought.
“Phoebe!” Maxine blazed into the apartment, grabbing my arm. “A Fab Five-WHOA! Roses everywhere.”
“Marshall Dale’s way of apology.”
“It’s also his way of asking you to jump into bed with him.” I blushed, furiously. “Well, aren’t you the cutest thing? You actually blush. How do you keep your hands off of her, Connor?”
“Maybe we should go now, Max.” I said, hurriedly.
“Oh, I don’t.” Connor said, breezily. Maxine pushed past me and moved closer to Connor, who was putting away groceries. “Ever so often, she and I will have a really shitty day and console ourselves with alcohol and each other.”
“Damn you, Connor. Tell everyone in the building, why don’t you?” I snapped, running my hands through my hair. He shrugged.
“It’s only Maxine.”
"What is this Fab Five thing, Max?” I said, silencing him with a glare.
“OH! Celeste. She just broke up with her boyfriend.”
“WHAT?” Connor dropped the bag of sugar in surprise. “Really?” I gave him a warning look. “I mean...that’s dreadful. Perfectly awful.” But I saw the glimmer of a smile that darted across his face as he turned away from us.
“Anyway, let’s go. We’re on comfort duty.”
“But I just got home.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Maxine grabbed my hand and dragged me from my apartment.
05 November 2008
Preston & Alden
Preston
I’m not going to say the silence was deafening because I never really understood that phrase. How can no noise deafen you? But the silence in Jessica’s apartment certainly grated on the nerves. I had a mission, a reason to be lurking around Jessica’s apartment while no one was hope. It’s not like I was a creeper......My purpose was to fulfill my dream for the past year and a half. To ask Jessica out. Hopefully to have her say yes. The door flew open and Jessica charged in.
“Hey, Jessie.” I said, casually. She barely glanced at me.
“In a hurry, Preston.” My heart started to sink. I had to tell her today!
“I really need to talk to you. Urgently!”
“Chelsea needs me more. And Colton needs you too so I suggest you return to him.” Curse you, Chelsea. If only you could have chosen a better time to be caught for an affair.
“Colton’s fine.”
Jessica shot me a cold look. “Of course he isn’t.”
“Alright. So he isn’t okay! What am I supposed to do?” This wasn’t the way I had visualized it happening.
“Be a friend, you asshole. He calls you his best friend and you don’t even support him when his fiancée cheats on him?”
“I am supporting him! I just stepped out of the apartment to talk to you! Geez.” She rolled her eyes.
“What do you need to say?” She demanded.
“God, why do you have to be so abrupt?” I snapped.
“Because you’re wasting the time I should be spending with Chelsea!”
“Well, sorr-ee!”
She threw her hands up in despair. “You’re unbelievable.”
“You know what? Forget it; I have nothing to say.”
“FINE!” She stomped out of the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her. I sighed and ran my hands through my blond hair, before chasing after her. She was clomping down the carpeted hall.
“Jess! Wait! I’m sorry.” She kept on walking but her pace slowed down. “I need to ask you something very important.”
“Hurry it up then.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Do you think that...we could....sometime...maybe next Friday....um....see, for the past year....well, no....so, what are you doin.......no....well...okay-”
“Spit it out, Preston!”
“Will you go out with me?” She smiled slightly.
“All that work for that little question? Of course, I’ll go out with you, you moron.” With that, she entered Apartment 5.
Alden
We were lounging around in my apartment. By we, I was referring to Kent, Adriana and myself. Kent and I were relaxing on the couch while Adriana puttered around in the kitchen. After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took a seat on my lap. Adriana and I had been dating for a month and I was already sick of her. I pushed her of my lap, gently.
“There’s plenty of room on the couch.” And you’re not exactly light, sweetheart. I refrained because that was just plain mean. Kent had his god awful screamo music, playing really loudly but I was too tired to yell over it in order to tell him to shut it off. So I just sat through it while Adriana and he chatted. How they accomplished this, with some moron hollering about taking his own life for some emo reason or another, I don’t know. Everything was fine and I was dozing off, only to be woken by another round of nausea-inducing screaming, until Adriana started bitching.
This was a favourite pastime of hers and her chosen victim was Celeste. Annoyed, I got up and headed to the kitchen. Adriana was talking about bad movies, horrible fashion sense and idiotic causes but I zoned out. I often did so when she started to talk. I must confess that the only reason I really started a relationship with her was because of the sex; I can’t lie. It certainly wasn’t because of her wonderful personality. Kent was listening to the nasty derision of his girlfriend in silence. If I were him, I’d have bitch slapped her. Well, considering my gender, I’d have pimp slapped her. I focused on my sandwich. Tomato, pickle, another tomato, lettuce, mayo, more mayo, ham, cheese-the music stopped halfway through a track. I rejoiced in the peace the silence brought until-
“You son of a bitch.” That was definitely Celeste’s voice. I rushed out into the hall. Kent had risen to his feet and Adriana was looking smug. “I didn’t expect anything more from HER but you? I expected-hoped-that you would have the decency to defend your own girlfriend from such-such-cruel, heartless lies!”
“Celeste-”
“Oh, go fuck yourself! We’re over. Finished. We ARE BROKEN UP!” She rushed from the apartment in a swirl of feathers which were shed from her accessory of choice today, a red boa.
“Way to go, dick face.” I snapped at Kent, before chasing after Celeste.
I’m not going to say the silence was deafening because I never really understood that phrase. How can no noise deafen you? But the silence in Jessica’s apartment certainly grated on the nerves. I had a mission, a reason to be lurking around Jessica’s apartment while no one was hope. It’s not like I was a creeper......My purpose was to fulfill my dream for the past year and a half. To ask Jessica out. Hopefully to have her say yes. The door flew open and Jessica charged in.
“Hey, Jessie.” I said, casually. She barely glanced at me.
“In a hurry, Preston.” My heart started to sink. I had to tell her today!
“I really need to talk to you. Urgently!”
“Chelsea needs me more. And Colton needs you too so I suggest you return to him.” Curse you, Chelsea. If only you could have chosen a better time to be caught for an affair.
“Colton’s fine.”
Jessica shot me a cold look. “Of course he isn’t.”
“Alright. So he isn’t okay! What am I supposed to do?” This wasn’t the way I had visualized it happening.
“Be a friend, you asshole. He calls you his best friend and you don’t even support him when his fiancée cheats on him?”
“I am supporting him! I just stepped out of the apartment to talk to you! Geez.” She rolled her eyes.
“What do you need to say?” She demanded.
“God, why do you have to be so abrupt?” I snapped.
“Because you’re wasting the time I should be spending with Chelsea!”
“Well, sorr-ee!”
She threw her hands up in despair. “You’re unbelievable.”
“You know what? Forget it; I have nothing to say.”
“FINE!” She stomped out of the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her. I sighed and ran my hands through my blond hair, before chasing after her. She was clomping down the carpeted hall.
“Jess! Wait! I’m sorry.” She kept on walking but her pace slowed down. “I need to ask you something very important.”
“Hurry it up then.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Do you think that...we could....sometime...maybe next Friday....um....see, for the past year....well, no....so, what are you doin.......no....well...okay-”
“Spit it out, Preston!”
“Will you go out with me?” She smiled slightly.
“All that work for that little question? Of course, I’ll go out with you, you moron.” With that, she entered Apartment 5.
Alden
We were lounging around in my apartment. By we, I was referring to Kent, Adriana and myself. Kent and I were relaxing on the couch while Adriana puttered around in the kitchen. After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she took a seat on my lap. Adriana and I had been dating for a month and I was already sick of her. I pushed her of my lap, gently.
“There’s plenty of room on the couch.” And you’re not exactly light, sweetheart. I refrained because that was just plain mean. Kent had his god awful screamo music, playing really loudly but I was too tired to yell over it in order to tell him to shut it off. So I just sat through it while Adriana and he chatted. How they accomplished this, with some moron hollering about taking his own life for some emo reason or another, I don’t know. Everything was fine and I was dozing off, only to be woken by another round of nausea-inducing screaming, until Adriana started bitching.
This was a favourite pastime of hers and her chosen victim was Celeste. Annoyed, I got up and headed to the kitchen. Adriana was talking about bad movies, horrible fashion sense and idiotic causes but I zoned out. I often did so when she started to talk. I must confess that the only reason I really started a relationship with her was because of the sex; I can’t lie. It certainly wasn’t because of her wonderful personality. Kent was listening to the nasty derision of his girlfriend in silence. If I were him, I’d have bitch slapped her. Well, considering my gender, I’d have pimp slapped her. I focused on my sandwich. Tomato, pickle, another tomato, lettuce, mayo, more mayo, ham, cheese-the music stopped halfway through a track. I rejoiced in the peace the silence brought until-
“You son of a bitch.” That was definitely Celeste’s voice. I rushed out into the hall. Kent had risen to his feet and Adriana was looking smug. “I didn’t expect anything more from HER but you? I expected-hoped-that you would have the decency to defend your own girlfriend from such-such-cruel, heartless lies!”
“Celeste-”
“Oh, go fuck yourself! We’re over. Finished. We ARE BROKEN UP!” She rushed from the apartment in a swirl of feathers which were shed from her accessory of choice today, a red boa.
“Way to go, dick face.” I snapped at Kent, before chasing after Celeste.
31 October 2008
Jared & Chelsea
Jared
“I hate Spike.”
“That’s right, get it all out there!” I clapped my newfound best friend, Connor, on the shoulder.
“But I don’t actually hate Spike!”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t!” He protested.
“Then why’d you come to my apartment?” I was puzzled.
He groaned with frustration. “You cut me off with your stupid pep-talk-mumbo-jumbo, whatever the hell that was.”
“Hey! That was some very effective stress-relieving tip I picked up off a self-help CD.”
“Uh-huh.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, you’re obviously not gonna be much help, so I’m lea-” Just as he made the move to walk out the door, I grabbed his arm.
“I can help you get her.”
“What?!” He started a bit, flushed red. “How’d you know about Celeste?!”
I smirked. “I never said ‘Celeste’, now did I?”
He sighed. “Well, it’s out in the open now....”
Apparently, the guy was suffering from that thing they call Love At First Sight. Well, after a long-time, well-nourished crush on a certain blonde-haired actress. He’d first walked to my room in somewhat of a stupor, and I guess I did jump the gun a bit when I made him do the whole “Repeat After Me” thing halfway through his first sentence...
“Spike can be kind of annoying sometimes. But, guess what? I just met the most-”
“Repeat after me!”
...so that was kind of messy. But, hey, at least it’s all in the open now.
“How’d you know I liked Celeste anyway?” Connor frowned in confusion.
“Oh, well, you walked in in a daze, with the grin of an infatuated idiot, the look I sometimes catch on men’s faces when Adriana walks into the room, so, you know, I just guessed.”
“Adriana?!”
“Yeah, long story cut short: she changes men more often than you take off your clothes. And you’re an Abercrombie & Fitch model.”
He laughed at that. “Well, back to my problem...”
“Hm... I know!”
“What?!” He looked up excitedly. “It’s Halloween soon, isn’t it?” He nodded. “Well, Aladdin Towers hosts a Halloween masked ball every year. I’ll find a way to get Celeste decked out like Cinderella... get her to the ball a bit later than usual... factor in some glass slippers...”
“And I can be Prince Charming!”
I winked, “Fast on the uptake, hm?” and chuckled at my little sexual joke. Maxine would’ve been proud.
“Okay, great! Thanks for the help!” Connor made the move to leave again, this time gleefully anxious.
“No, no, wait. We’re not done yet. Okay, at the party, I’m sure I can organize to have her lose a slipper. And then, for the following weeks, you’ll be playing Secret Admirer. Leave her roses, poems, prose. Leave her things to make her absolutely love your personality. Give her bits of
yourself... actually, yes! Leave hints about who you are!” I started going into a frenzy.
“Compliment her! Yes, yes, ALWAYS compliment her! So while your secret alter ego is wooing her, your true self will also be winning her over!” I may have laughed hysterically a bit. “And then, we’ll play it out like every prince or superhero with an alter ego... we’ll have her be split over your two personas, utterly in love with both, and then... and then... WE’LL REVEAL YOUR SECRET IDENTITY! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” My cackling erupted into a string of coughs.
Connor snapped out of his horrified and amused reverie to slap me on the back. “Whoa, whoa... calm down there.”
“I—ahem—think I—hem-hem—overdid it...” I took a deep breath. “Anyways, the whole idea is playing off a female’s sensitivity for movie-like moments. And all the while, Connor, don’t forget to pay extra attention to being a gentleman. And while you’re acting the part of the Prince, NEVER reveal your identity until the end.” I took both his shoulders and stared hard at his eyes.
“Not even if she BEGS!”
He gulped. “Okay...”
“And that’s it!” I smiled widely. He smiled along, glad that the normal me was back.
“You get the ‘Mad Scientist of the Year’ award, my dear matchmaker friend.”
“I’m in the business of seduction.” I whispered mysteriously. Connor took it as a joke and laughed.
“Well, I’ve gotta go. Places to see, people to do....” I’m pretty sure he winked on his way out.
Chelsea
I glanced at the things on the table before me. A lighter. A photograph. A watch. A necklace. A slightly soiled napkin. And a ring.
The lighter was Colton’s. One of the first things he ever gave me. We’d met at a business conference for up-and-coming young lawyers. He’d had trouble with his lighter because of a sprained wrist, so I lit his cigar for him. We hit it off and, a month later, were involved in a serious relationship. By then, he’d quit smoking, but I kept the lighter as a memorial.
The photograph was a picture of us the night of our first date. We were so young...so reckless. We’d gone all the way to third base. The picture was of the two of us, on the beach, after we’d just made love.
The watch was a gift from Colton’s mother at the dreadful meeting-of-parents. It really wasn’t that bad, now that I thought about it. His mom was very nice.
The necklace—a memory of the first day we opened Rook & Sinai – Attorneys at Law. It also happened to be the day of our first year anniversary.
The napkin was the result of our last date, at a fancy Italian-Greek restaurant. Yes, I know restaurants like that hardly exist. But we’d found one, and the restaurant we found...
...Happened to be the place where Colton popped the question. And that brings us to the ring. To be honest, we were a slow couple. We did everything one at a time, and a couple weeks after we were sure we were both ready. Well, after four years, he finally proposed. And I’d accepted. So that beautiful, princess-cut, 20 karat rock on the coffee table was the result. It had the words
True Love engraved on the inside. What a lie.
Yes, I loved him. And it may have been true love two to three years ago. But I’d be lying if I said the fire hadn’t died down since then.
Colton was a busy man. Between those first two years and the proposal...
What can I say? We had no relationship. He’d always collapse into bed two hours after I was asleep. We never talked to each other at work. Dinner was an awkward affair of contemporary music and silverware clinking. We’d tried buying a puppy to liven things up—the dog ran away and now lives in a happy little country house. And in the mornings, we were both too tired to make breakfast, let alone conversation.
Then, a couple months ago, I found Carson. He worked part time at a model plane shop across the road from my law office. We met up when I was looking for a model plane for Colton’s fourth year anniversary gift. To sum it up, I came, I saw, I made out with someone I barely knew. Later on, when I found out he lived in the same building as me... things got a little easier. When Colton worked late, I came home early and entertained myself. When Colton slept late, I got up early and had some fun. When Colton was on a business trip... I rented a hotel room.
It was nice. Having some real risk—wasn’t that real romance?
But Colton found out. It couldn’t have lasted anyway, but there were better ways of breaking up. I knew that. Yet I was a stupid, stupid shallow bitch to him. He deserved better. But deep down, I knew I needed more than him
“I hate Spike.”
“That’s right, get it all out there!” I clapped my newfound best friend, Connor, on the shoulder.
“But I don’t actually hate Spike!”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t!” He protested.
“Then why’d you come to my apartment?” I was puzzled.
He groaned with frustration. “You cut me off with your stupid pep-talk-mumbo-jumbo, whatever the hell that was.”
“Hey! That was some very effective stress-relieving tip I picked up off a self-help CD.”
“Uh-huh.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, you’re obviously not gonna be much help, so I’m lea-” Just as he made the move to walk out the door, I grabbed his arm.
“I can help you get her.”
“What?!” He started a bit, flushed red. “How’d you know about Celeste?!”
I smirked. “I never said ‘Celeste’, now did I?”
He sighed. “Well, it’s out in the open now....”
Apparently, the guy was suffering from that thing they call Love At First Sight. Well, after a long-time, well-nourished crush on a certain blonde-haired actress. He’d first walked to my room in somewhat of a stupor, and I guess I did jump the gun a bit when I made him do the whole “Repeat After Me” thing halfway through his first sentence...
“Spike can be kind of annoying sometimes. But, guess what? I just met the most-”
“Repeat after me!”
...so that was kind of messy. But, hey, at least it’s all in the open now.
“How’d you know I liked Celeste anyway?” Connor frowned in confusion.
“Oh, well, you walked in in a daze, with the grin of an infatuated idiot, the look I sometimes catch on men’s faces when Adriana walks into the room, so, you know, I just guessed.”
“Adriana?!”
“Yeah, long story cut short: she changes men more often than you take off your clothes. And you’re an Abercrombie & Fitch model.”
He laughed at that. “Well, back to my problem...”
“Hm... I know!”
“What?!” He looked up excitedly. “It’s Halloween soon, isn’t it?” He nodded. “Well, Aladdin Towers hosts a Halloween masked ball every year. I’ll find a way to get Celeste decked out like Cinderella... get her to the ball a bit later than usual... factor in some glass slippers...”
“And I can be Prince Charming!”
I winked, “Fast on the uptake, hm?” and chuckled at my little sexual joke. Maxine would’ve been proud.
“Okay, great! Thanks for the help!” Connor made the move to leave again, this time gleefully anxious.
“No, no, wait. We’re not done yet. Okay, at the party, I’m sure I can organize to have her lose a slipper. And then, for the following weeks, you’ll be playing Secret Admirer. Leave her roses, poems, prose. Leave her things to make her absolutely love your personality. Give her bits of
yourself... actually, yes! Leave hints about who you are!” I started going into a frenzy.
“Compliment her! Yes, yes, ALWAYS compliment her! So while your secret alter ego is wooing her, your true self will also be winning her over!” I may have laughed hysterically a bit. “And then, we’ll play it out like every prince or superhero with an alter ego... we’ll have her be split over your two personas, utterly in love with both, and then... and then... WE’LL REVEAL YOUR SECRET IDENTITY! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” My cackling erupted into a string of coughs.
Connor snapped out of his horrified and amused reverie to slap me on the back. “Whoa, whoa... calm down there.”
“I—ahem—think I—hem-hem—overdid it...” I took a deep breath. “Anyways, the whole idea is playing off a female’s sensitivity for movie-like moments. And all the while, Connor, don’t forget to pay extra attention to being a gentleman. And while you’re acting the part of the Prince, NEVER reveal your identity until the end.” I took both his shoulders and stared hard at his eyes.
“Not even if she BEGS!”
He gulped. “Okay...”
“And that’s it!” I smiled widely. He smiled along, glad that the normal me was back.
“You get the ‘Mad Scientist of the Year’ award, my dear matchmaker friend.”
“I’m in the business of seduction.” I whispered mysteriously. Connor took it as a joke and laughed.
“Well, I’ve gotta go. Places to see, people to do....” I’m pretty sure he winked on his way out.
Chelsea
I glanced at the things on the table before me. A lighter. A photograph. A watch. A necklace. A slightly soiled napkin. And a ring.
The lighter was Colton’s. One of the first things he ever gave me. We’d met at a business conference for up-and-coming young lawyers. He’d had trouble with his lighter because of a sprained wrist, so I lit his cigar for him. We hit it off and, a month later, were involved in a serious relationship. By then, he’d quit smoking, but I kept the lighter as a memorial.
The photograph was a picture of us the night of our first date. We were so young...so reckless. We’d gone all the way to third base. The picture was of the two of us, on the beach, after we’d just made love.
The watch was a gift from Colton’s mother at the dreadful meeting-of-parents. It really wasn’t that bad, now that I thought about it. His mom was very nice.
The necklace—a memory of the first day we opened Rook & Sinai – Attorneys at Law. It also happened to be the day of our first year anniversary.
The napkin was the result of our last date, at a fancy Italian-Greek restaurant. Yes, I know restaurants like that hardly exist. But we’d found one, and the restaurant we found...
...Happened to be the place where Colton popped the question. And that brings us to the ring. To be honest, we were a slow couple. We did everything one at a time, and a couple weeks after we were sure we were both ready. Well, after four years, he finally proposed. And I’d accepted. So that beautiful, princess-cut, 20 karat rock on the coffee table was the result. It had the words
True Love engraved on the inside. What a lie.
Yes, I loved him. And it may have been true love two to three years ago. But I’d be lying if I said the fire hadn’t died down since then.
Colton was a busy man. Between those first two years and the proposal...
What can I say? We had no relationship. He’d always collapse into bed two hours after I was asleep. We never talked to each other at work. Dinner was an awkward affair of contemporary music and silverware clinking. We’d tried buying a puppy to liven things up—the dog ran away and now lives in a happy little country house. And in the mornings, we were both too tired to make breakfast, let alone conversation.
Then, a couple months ago, I found Carson. He worked part time at a model plane shop across the road from my law office. We met up when I was looking for a model plane for Colton’s fourth year anniversary gift. To sum it up, I came, I saw, I made out with someone I barely knew. Later on, when I found out he lived in the same building as me... things got a little easier. When Colton worked late, I came home early and entertained myself. When Colton slept late, I got up early and had some fun. When Colton was on a business trip... I rented a hotel room.
It was nice. Having some real risk—wasn’t that real romance?
But Colton found out. It couldn’t have lasted anyway, but there were better ways of breaking up. I knew that. Yet I was a stupid, stupid shallow bitch to him. He deserved better. But deep down, I knew I needed more than him
30 October 2008
Celeste & Connor
Celeste
I rolled out of bed. It was only eight thirty but I enjoyed an occasional early rise. By occasional I meant that every three months or so, I would make an appearance before eleven forty five. So as I stumbled out of my room, seemingly drunken but really just sleepy, I was shocked to find a person sleeping on my couch. Well, it took me twenty minutes to notice her but once I did, I was shocked. Tiptoeing to the couch, I peered over the edge.
“Chelsea?!?!?!” Chelsea woke with a start.
“Oh. Hi, Celeste.” She said this as if it were perfectly normal to be crashing on people’s couches.
“Hi, Chelsea.....I don’t mean to be rude-” Her face darkened as if I had just mentioned a major taboo.
“You’re wondering why I’m here?”
“That would be the reason-yes, I’m wondering why you’re here.” To my utter shock, Chelsea burst into tears. Now, I’m no good around tears. Sasha’s good at that but me....I can hand someone a tissue and smile understandingly but that’s about the extent of my abilities. So of course, faced with this weeping woman, I panicked. “Don’t cry! For the love of God, don’t cry. Look, I’ll give you whatever you want. Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie? It’s rated
Arrrr! Get it?” At this point, I began to laugh hysterically at my own terrible joke.
“Celeste, calm down.” Chelsea dried her tears. “I’m sorry. I lost control like that.” I sat down, weakly in an armchair.
“It’s okay. What happened?”
“Colton caught me making out with Carson.” I stared at her, bug-eyed.
“You’re kidding!”
“No.”
“Damn. You need a drink.” I shuffled over the bar where I proceeded to pour us both a stiff whisky.
“It’s eight thirty.”
“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” I handed her the glass. “Drink up. It’s good for the soul.” She laughed.
“I thought that was chicken soup.”
“Laced with whiskey.” We both gulped down the drink. “So what do you intend to do? Apologize?” Chelsea shrugged.
“The truth is I’ve been waiting for this relationship to end. I’ve been dating him for four years! FOUR! And he’s told me he loves me TWICE. He’s an unaffectionate ignoramus. Carson was a breath of fresh air.”
“Couldn’t you have chosen a better method?” Chelsea sighed.
“Having an affair was probably not the smartest thing to have done.”
“No. It really wasn’t.” I refilled our glasses.
“What can I do? The deed can’t be undone.”
Connor
“It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour. It’s a neighbourly day in the beauty wood, a neighbourly day for a beauty. Would you be mine? Could you-”
“Shut up already!” I had been singing cheerfully as I prepared breakfast for everybody. The angry response to my singing had been from Spike.
“He’s just happy because he met the girl of his dreams.” Andre said, grumpily. “EVERYONE seems to have met the love of their lives. Connor’s in love with Celeste, Grant’s in love with Adriana, Phoebe’s in love with the writer.”
“I am NOT in love with the writer. I just like how smart he is.”
“Sure.” Spike scoffed.
“But don’t get ahead of yourself, Con.” Phoebe reminded me. “She has a boyfriend.” Nothing could break my spirits; I was flying higher than an eagle on crack.
“Who?”
“Kent Wither.”
“The ugly, blond guy? I could take him ANY DAY!”
“That might very well be the case, Connor but don’t get too cocky. Girls don’t like that.” Phoebe warned.
“Have you seen me, Phoebs? I’m gorgeous.”
Phoebe rolled her eyes, muttering, “And just yesterday, you were ‘humbly’ boasting how modest a model you are.”
“A modest model. Hah! Now that’s an oxy-moron.” Andre joked morosely.
“La la-la la la la la la, la la-la la la la la la...” I kept singing, ignoring my own hypocrisy.
“For the last time, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Spike yelled, throwing a rolled newspaper at me. Everyone turned to look at the fuming accountant.
“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” I asked. I didn’t want anything spoiling my mood.
“Whatever.” He sighed and left, taking a box of cigarettes with him. Phoebe looked after him, grimacing. “He only smokes when he’s really upset.”
But we all knew that already.
I put down my pan of frying eggs and turned to Andre, “Hey, can you take care of this for me? Thanks.” Without waiting for a response, I quickly rinsed my hands and was out the door.
I rolled out of bed. It was only eight thirty but I enjoyed an occasional early rise. By occasional I meant that every three months or so, I would make an appearance before eleven forty five. So as I stumbled out of my room, seemingly drunken but really just sleepy, I was shocked to find a person sleeping on my couch. Well, it took me twenty minutes to notice her but once I did, I was shocked. Tiptoeing to the couch, I peered over the edge.
“Chelsea?!?!?!” Chelsea woke with a start.
“Oh. Hi, Celeste.” She said this as if it were perfectly normal to be crashing on people’s couches.
“Hi, Chelsea.....I don’t mean to be rude-” Her face darkened as if I had just mentioned a major taboo.
“You’re wondering why I’m here?”
“That would be the reason-yes, I’m wondering why you’re here.” To my utter shock, Chelsea burst into tears. Now, I’m no good around tears. Sasha’s good at that but me....I can hand someone a tissue and smile understandingly but that’s about the extent of my abilities. So of course, faced with this weeping woman, I panicked. “Don’t cry! For the love of God, don’t cry. Look, I’ll give you whatever you want. Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie? It’s rated
Arrrr! Get it?” At this point, I began to laugh hysterically at my own terrible joke.
“Celeste, calm down.” Chelsea dried her tears. “I’m sorry. I lost control like that.” I sat down, weakly in an armchair.
“It’s okay. What happened?”
“Colton caught me making out with Carson.” I stared at her, bug-eyed.
“You’re kidding!”
“No.”
“Damn. You need a drink.” I shuffled over the bar where I proceeded to pour us both a stiff whisky.
“It’s eight thirty.”
“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” I handed her the glass. “Drink up. It’s good for the soul.” She laughed.
“I thought that was chicken soup.”
“Laced with whiskey.” We both gulped down the drink. “So what do you intend to do? Apologize?” Chelsea shrugged.
“The truth is I’ve been waiting for this relationship to end. I’ve been dating him for four years! FOUR! And he’s told me he loves me TWICE. He’s an unaffectionate ignoramus. Carson was a breath of fresh air.”
“Couldn’t you have chosen a better method?” Chelsea sighed.
“Having an affair was probably not the smartest thing to have done.”
“No. It really wasn’t.” I refilled our glasses.
“What can I do? The deed can’t be undone.”
Connor
“It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour. It’s a neighbourly day in the beauty wood, a neighbourly day for a beauty. Would you be mine? Could you-”
“Shut up already!” I had been singing cheerfully as I prepared breakfast for everybody. The angry response to my singing had been from Spike.
“He’s just happy because he met the girl of his dreams.” Andre said, grumpily. “EVERYONE seems to have met the love of their lives. Connor’s in love with Celeste, Grant’s in love with Adriana, Phoebe’s in love with the writer.”
“I am NOT in love with the writer. I just like how smart he is.”
“Sure.” Spike scoffed.
“But don’t get ahead of yourself, Con.” Phoebe reminded me. “She has a boyfriend.” Nothing could break my spirits; I was flying higher than an eagle on crack.
“Who?”
“Kent Wither.”
“The ugly, blond guy? I could take him ANY DAY!”
“That might very well be the case, Connor but don’t get too cocky. Girls don’t like that.” Phoebe warned.
“Have you seen me, Phoebs? I’m gorgeous.”
Phoebe rolled her eyes, muttering, “And just yesterday, you were ‘humbly’ boasting how modest a model you are.”
“A modest model. Hah! Now that’s an oxy-moron.” Andre joked morosely.
“La la-la la la la la la, la la-la la la la la la...” I kept singing, ignoring my own hypocrisy.
“For the last time, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Spike yelled, throwing a rolled newspaper at me. Everyone turned to look at the fuming accountant.
“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” I asked. I didn’t want anything spoiling my mood.
“Whatever.” He sighed and left, taking a box of cigarettes with him. Phoebe looked after him, grimacing. “He only smokes when he’s really upset.”
But we all knew that already.
I put down my pan of frying eggs and turned to Andre, “Hey, can you take care of this for me? Thanks.” Without waiting for a response, I quickly rinsed my hands and was out the door.
Colton & Jackson
Colton
I dragged my feet down the corridor. I was home from a long, gruelling of poring over files for a stupid case that we’d just gotten. Chelsea hadn’t been feeling well so she headed home early. Figuring I’d let her sleep a little while longer, I made a beeline for Preston’s apartment. I let myself in as usual. Cameron was sleeping on his blanket in the corner. Frowning at him, I spoke to Preston.
“He’s still here?”
“Yeah. We decided not to send him away, after all.” He replied. He sitting at the kitchen table, squinting at a sketch book.
“How did Jackson take it?” Preston sighed and looked mournfully at Jackson’s door.
“He took nine hundred dollars.”
“You BRIBED him?”
“No. I bought him a lock set for his room.”
“I see. Any chance of us playing today?”
“Jackson unplugged the PlayStation and locked himself in his room with it.” He muttered,
angrily.
“Damn it.” I grumbled. “Sometimes, I hate him.”
“Tell me about it. I have to live with him.”
“Well, if we can’t play, there’s no sense of me staying here.”
“Gee, thanks, Colt. Glad to see you love my company.” I ignored him and walked out. I was extra quiet when I opened the door because I figured Chelsea would be sleeping. The sight that beheld my confused eyes caused me to drop my briefcase and stand there in shocked silence. Right there, in the living room, before my very eyes stood Chelsea and Carson, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing passionately.
Jackson
I glanced at the luminous clock face. The digits 3:45 glared, menacingly back at me. Cameron tried the door again but of course, with no avail since I had locked it. He had tried to open the door every fifteen minutes throughout the night. I desperately wanted to get to sleep and possibly (hopefully) dream about curly haired fans. Maxie had been after me to move on. Adriana and I had dated for almost a year before she broke up with me. Apparently, I was too quiet and undemonstrative. She needed bushels of love but any regular person would have figured that out two weeks into the relationship as opposed to days before our eleventh month anniversary. I sighed. That was six months ago and while she had a steady stream of men, I had gone on one date who left halfway through the dinner. Until Phoebe. She struck me as the sort of person who didn’t throw unnecessary tantrums or require constant displays of nauseating affection. She also seemed like a person who would stick around for an entire dinner even if I did keep making constant references to my ex-girlfriend. And she liked my novels. Adriana hated all my novels. Well....she hated all the ones she knew I wrote. She had a soft spot for a series of super sappy romance novels by a writer named Jacqueline Hennessy.
“Jackson.” I heard Cameron whispering. “Let me in.”
“CAMERON!” Preston hollered. “Get your ass back to sleep and stop bothering Jackson. Or else.” The ‘or else’ implied Cameron being thrown out of the house. I was tempted to let Cameron into the room, then accuse him of breaking in but I couldn’t be that mean. However, thinking of Adriana gave me an idea for another novel. Not the kind I was ‘famous’ for. The more I thought about the plot, the more convinced I became that ‘Jacqueline Hennessy’ should publish a new book.
I dragged my feet down the corridor. I was home from a long, gruelling of poring over files for a stupid case that we’d just gotten. Chelsea hadn’t been feeling well so she headed home early. Figuring I’d let her sleep a little while longer, I made a beeline for Preston’s apartment. I let myself in as usual. Cameron was sleeping on his blanket in the corner. Frowning at him, I spoke to Preston.
“He’s still here?”
“Yeah. We decided not to send him away, after all.” He replied. He sitting at the kitchen table, squinting at a sketch book.
“How did Jackson take it?” Preston sighed and looked mournfully at Jackson’s door.
“He took nine hundred dollars.”
“You BRIBED him?”
“No. I bought him a lock set for his room.”
“I see. Any chance of us playing today?”
“Jackson unplugged the PlayStation and locked himself in his room with it.” He muttered,
angrily.
“Damn it.” I grumbled. “Sometimes, I hate him.”
“Tell me about it. I have to live with him.”
“Well, if we can’t play, there’s no sense of me staying here.”
“Gee, thanks, Colt. Glad to see you love my company.” I ignored him and walked out. I was extra quiet when I opened the door because I figured Chelsea would be sleeping. The sight that beheld my confused eyes caused me to drop my briefcase and stand there in shocked silence. Right there, in the living room, before my very eyes stood Chelsea and Carson, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing passionately.
Jackson
I glanced at the luminous clock face. The digits 3:45 glared, menacingly back at me. Cameron tried the door again but of course, with no avail since I had locked it. He had tried to open the door every fifteen minutes throughout the night. I desperately wanted to get to sleep and possibly (hopefully) dream about curly haired fans. Maxie had been after me to move on. Adriana and I had dated for almost a year before she broke up with me. Apparently, I was too quiet and undemonstrative. She needed bushels of love but any regular person would have figured that out two weeks into the relationship as opposed to days before our eleventh month anniversary. I sighed. That was six months ago and while she had a steady stream of men, I had gone on one date who left halfway through the dinner. Until Phoebe. She struck me as the sort of person who didn’t throw unnecessary tantrums or require constant displays of nauseating affection. She also seemed like a person who would stick around for an entire dinner even if I did keep making constant references to my ex-girlfriend. And she liked my novels. Adriana hated all my novels. Well....she hated all the ones she knew I wrote. She had a soft spot for a series of super sappy romance novels by a writer named Jacqueline Hennessy.
“Jackson.” I heard Cameron whispering. “Let me in.”
“CAMERON!” Preston hollered. “Get your ass back to sleep and stop bothering Jackson. Or else.” The ‘or else’ implied Cameron being thrown out of the house. I was tempted to let Cameron into the room, then accuse him of breaking in but I couldn’t be that mean. However, thinking of Adriana gave me an idea for another novel. Not the kind I was ‘famous’ for. The more I thought about the plot, the more convinced I became that ‘Jacqueline Hennessy’ should publish a new book.
Marshall & Maxine
Marshall
I was ridden with guilt. Over the Phoebe situation. True, I wouldn’t have felt so guilty had she not been extremely good looking or if she had been a man but nonetheless, I was racked with feelings of guilt. Yet I still had Adriana.
“How are you, you sexy son of a bitch?” Adriana addressed me.
“I’m fine. How are your girls?” She grinned at me.
“They miss you, hon. And I miss your team mates. They bring me good business.” I grinned back.
“I’ll let them know but we’re being driven to the bone by our coach. He’s being such an asshole.” Adriana leaned over the couch that I was sitting on and began to massage my shoulders. “That feels good.” Her fingers pressed deep against my sore shoulder muscles. “In more ways than one.” I added as the warmth of her touch spread further south. Adriana gave a silvery laugh.
“Keep your thoughts PG.”
“They’re never PG around you, darling.” I murmured. My eyes drifted closed but the face that floated in front of me was not Adriana’s but Phoebe’s angered expression.
“Shit!” Adriana’s voice broke me out of my reverie. “I have work. My main working girl quit on me and I don’t trust the others. See you later.” She kissed my cheek and raced out of the apartment. I sighed. Now it was just me and my thoughts and anyone who knew me knew that that resulted badly. The door slammed as my roommate Alden entered.
“Hey, Marshall. That girl you’ve been pining over is in the hall.”
“Really?!?!?” I sprang up from my chair.
“Yeah. She-” I didn’t wait for what else he had to say; I was out of the apartment quicker than a dog with its tail on fire......maybe not the best comparison. But there she was, standing outside her apartment in all her glory.
“PHOEBE!” I called out as she inserted her key into the lock. She turned around with a smile but when she caught sight of me, her face froze and she turned back around, entering her apartment.
“Wait! No!” I held the door open.
“What do you want, Mr. Dale?” She asked coldly.
“I want to apologize for what happened at the party. We like to have a little fun.”
“Well, that little fun cost me and my roommates a lot of money so next time, Mr. Dale, do me a favour and have your ‘little’ fun somewhere that won’t destroy any of my personal property.” Her voice didn’t rise; she just stated her short speech in a cold, impersonal tone. “If you call that little fun, I don’t ever want to be around when you’re having lots of it.” With that, she slammed the door in my face. I gave the door a sad, puppy dog look but unless she was looking through the peep hole which I highly doubt she was, it would have no affect. Yet while she was scolding me, a plan had begun to formulate in my head. Now that I really considered it, it might be crazy enough to work.
Maxine
“You have been gathered here today to discuss the possible induction of another member into our group.” I called out. Celeste, Sasha and Felicia completely ignored me; they were much too engrossed in their Seventeen magazine. “DAMN IT!” I poked their magazine with a poker from the fireplace. “Pay attention. It’s like getting hyper four year olds to sit still.” Celeste rolled her eyes at me.
“I don’t see why this has to be a formal meeting. We all really like Phoebe; just invite her to have dinner with us. No need for a Frivolous Four meeting!”
“We need to decide a new name!” I snapped, frustrated. “W can’t be the Frivolous Four with five members!”
“I’m going to go find Phoebe and bring her here.” Felicia suggested. “You guys can puzzle over it while I’m gone.” Without even waiting for our responses, she was off.
“Great.” I muttered. Sasha laughed.
“It’s okay, Maxie. We can be the...Frivolous Five.” I shot her a withering look.
“That’s SO unoriginal.”
“Whatever. You decide.” Sasha turned back to her magazine.
“How about the Fantabulous Five?” Silence from Celeste and Sasha. Again with the magazine.
“How about a vote?” No nods, no agreement. “Gee, what a great idea, Max! Let’s vote! OKAY! All in favour of renaming ourselves the Fantabulous Five, raise their hands.” I was being ignored so I decided to hold my own meeting with myself. “WONDERFUL! Everyone is in agreement.” I cheered myself on. At this point, Felicia entered with Phoebe in tow.
“Hey, Phoebe!” I greeted her, enthusiastically. I could see she was still a little nervous around me.
“Phoebs!” Celeste said, warmly. Sasha just waved.
“Phoebe, we have decided to honour you by letting you join our private ‘circle’.” I told her, excitedly. Phoebe smiled, tolerantly.
“Why, thank you, Maxie. That’s awfully swell of you.” It took me a second to realize she was mocking me; I knew that mocking tone. In fact, I USED that mocking tone, everyday and on a variety of people. The anger that the tone had been used on me was swamped by the glee I felt that I had found a kindred, sarcastic spirit. Other than Jackson, who was plain boring sometimes.
“I think I love you.” Phoebe laughed.
“What’re you reading?” She placed herself between Celeste and Sasha.
“Seventeen.”
“Don’t you want to know the name of the circle? Or what we do?” I asked, still excited.
“Not really.” Phoebe replied, frankly. “Oooh, I love those shoes.”
“Oh, Maxie! I’d love to! What’s it called?” I began talking to myself once again. “Well, Phoebe. We’re a group of close girlfriends who provide each other with daily laughs, moral support and kick ass protection. And our name is the Fantabulous Five.” Phoebe looked up.
“That’s too....weird. Plus fantabulous isn’t a word. How about the Fabulous Five?”
“The Fab Five......” Celeste grinned. “It’s so corny it’s perfect!”
I was ridden with guilt. Over the Phoebe situation. True, I wouldn’t have felt so guilty had she not been extremely good looking or if she had been a man but nonetheless, I was racked with feelings of guilt. Yet I still had Adriana.
“How are you, you sexy son of a bitch?” Adriana addressed me.
“I’m fine. How are your girls?” She grinned at me.
“They miss you, hon. And I miss your team mates. They bring me good business.” I grinned back.
“I’ll let them know but we’re being driven to the bone by our coach. He’s being such an asshole.” Adriana leaned over the couch that I was sitting on and began to massage my shoulders. “That feels good.” Her fingers pressed deep against my sore shoulder muscles. “In more ways than one.” I added as the warmth of her touch spread further south. Adriana gave a silvery laugh.
“Keep your thoughts PG.”
“They’re never PG around you, darling.” I murmured. My eyes drifted closed but the face that floated in front of me was not Adriana’s but Phoebe’s angered expression.
“Shit!” Adriana’s voice broke me out of my reverie. “I have work. My main working girl quit on me and I don’t trust the others. See you later.” She kissed my cheek and raced out of the apartment. I sighed. Now it was just me and my thoughts and anyone who knew me knew that that resulted badly. The door slammed as my roommate Alden entered.
“Hey, Marshall. That girl you’ve been pining over is in the hall.”
“Really?!?!?” I sprang up from my chair.
“Yeah. She-” I didn’t wait for what else he had to say; I was out of the apartment quicker than a dog with its tail on fire......maybe not the best comparison. But there she was, standing outside her apartment in all her glory.
“PHOEBE!” I called out as she inserted her key into the lock. She turned around with a smile but when she caught sight of me, her face froze and she turned back around, entering her apartment.
“Wait! No!” I held the door open.
“What do you want, Mr. Dale?” She asked coldly.
“I want to apologize for what happened at the party. We like to have a little fun.”
“Well, that little fun cost me and my roommates a lot of money so next time, Mr. Dale, do me a favour and have your ‘little’ fun somewhere that won’t destroy any of my personal property.” Her voice didn’t rise; she just stated her short speech in a cold, impersonal tone. “If you call that little fun, I don’t ever want to be around when you’re having lots of it.” With that, she slammed the door in my face. I gave the door a sad, puppy dog look but unless she was looking through the peep hole which I highly doubt she was, it would have no affect. Yet while she was scolding me, a plan had begun to formulate in my head. Now that I really considered it, it might be crazy enough to work.
Maxine
“You have been gathered here today to discuss the possible induction of another member into our group.” I called out. Celeste, Sasha and Felicia completely ignored me; they were much too engrossed in their Seventeen magazine. “DAMN IT!” I poked their magazine with a poker from the fireplace. “Pay attention. It’s like getting hyper four year olds to sit still.” Celeste rolled her eyes at me.
“I don’t see why this has to be a formal meeting. We all really like Phoebe; just invite her to have dinner with us. No need for a Frivolous Four meeting!”
“We need to decide a new name!” I snapped, frustrated. “W can’t be the Frivolous Four with five members!”
“I’m going to go find Phoebe and bring her here.” Felicia suggested. “You guys can puzzle over it while I’m gone.” Without even waiting for our responses, she was off.
“Great.” I muttered. Sasha laughed.
“It’s okay, Maxie. We can be the...Frivolous Five.” I shot her a withering look.
“That’s SO unoriginal.”
“Whatever. You decide.” Sasha turned back to her magazine.
“How about the Fantabulous Five?” Silence from Celeste and Sasha. Again with the magazine.
“How about a vote?” No nods, no agreement. “Gee, what a great idea, Max! Let’s vote! OKAY! All in favour of renaming ourselves the Fantabulous Five, raise their hands.” I was being ignored so I decided to hold my own meeting with myself. “WONDERFUL! Everyone is in agreement.” I cheered myself on. At this point, Felicia entered with Phoebe in tow.
“Hey, Phoebe!” I greeted her, enthusiastically. I could see she was still a little nervous around me.
“Phoebs!” Celeste said, warmly. Sasha just waved.
“Phoebe, we have decided to honour you by letting you join our private ‘circle’.” I told her, excitedly. Phoebe smiled, tolerantly.
“Why, thank you, Maxie. That’s awfully swell of you.” It took me a second to realize she was mocking me; I knew that mocking tone. In fact, I USED that mocking tone, everyday and on a variety of people. The anger that the tone had been used on me was swamped by the glee I felt that I had found a kindred, sarcastic spirit. Other than Jackson, who was plain boring sometimes.
“I think I love you.” Phoebe laughed.
“What’re you reading?” She placed herself between Celeste and Sasha.
“Seventeen.”
“Don’t you want to know the name of the circle? Or what we do?” I asked, still excited.
“Not really.” Phoebe replied, frankly. “Oooh, I love those shoes.”
“Oh, Maxie! I’d love to! What’s it called?” I began talking to myself once again. “Well, Phoebe. We’re a group of close girlfriends who provide each other with daily laughs, moral support and kick ass protection. And our name is the Fantabulous Five.” Phoebe looked up.
“That’s too....weird. Plus fantabulous isn’t a word. How about the Fabulous Five?”
“The Fab Five......” Celeste grinned. “It’s so corny it’s perfect!”
Sasha & Preston
Sasha
I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Phoebe’s apartment. Andre was giving me some pointers on how to make the perfect cheesecake when Grant burst in.
“Andre!”
“Grant!”
“I’m in love!” Andre dropped the pan he’d been wiping.
“What?”
“Yes! I know it.”
“Phoebe.” Andre yelled. “Get out here. Now.” Phoebe popped her head out of the bathroom, her hair dripping wet.
“What is it and can it wait?”
“Grant’s in love.” Phoebe paused as she looked at Grant.
“Gimme a sec.” She was out in a few seconds wrapped in a towel. “What is this about being in love, Grant?”
“Adriana Wilson. We went for breakfast and I must say she’s....perfect. She’s beautiful, she thinks my jokes are funny-”
“That just means she was also dropped on her head as a baby.” Phoebe snapped. Grant glared at her before continuing.
“She likes the stuff I do, like sports and adventures.”
“By adventures, I suppose you mean, hurting yourself for no apparent reason and labelling it ‘fun’.” Andre replied, snarkily.
“God. You two are bitches,” I interjected. “If he wants to be in love, let him be in love.” Phoebe threw her hands up in the air.
“Fine! Be in love. Just don’t spend five days lying on the couch, crying like the last time.” She stormed into her room. She wasn’t gone two seconds when she came out again. “And no finishing all the alcohol.”
“Or smoking marijuana.”
“Or destroying property. Ours or anybody else’s.”
“And no starting bar fights.”
“No beating up her current boyfriend.”
“Got it?” I was beginning to see their point. Grant just shrugged.
“It won’t happen. Adriana and I are a match made in heaven.” Phoebe shook her head and went into her bedroom.
“I’m going out for a jog.” Grant said, happily, leaving the apartment.
“He jogs in jeans?” I asked Andre.
“He’d jog in anything.” He replied. “So...the secret to a perfect, light and fluffy chocolate cake
lies-” There was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” He shimmered over to the door. I say shimmered because he had the odd grace of a ballerina as opposed to the stomping/shuffling walk of most men.
“Andre!” I recognized Adriana’s voice, instantly. I snuck off into the breakfast nook where she wouldn’t be able to see me.
“Adriana, Grant was just by here.”
“Ah, yes. Well, I wanted to speak with you. I just had to tell you how WONDERFUL the food was last night. Did you make those spring rolls?”
“Yes. It’s a recipe I learnt from an old Chinese roommate.”
“Well, they were absolutely to die for. I even went off my diet for your food.” Andre laughed, selfconsciously.
“Thank you. Though I must say you don’t need a diet.” Inwardly, I groaned. She had recruited another member for her team.
Preston
There was discord in our apartment. Every member of the apartment was sitting around our kitchen table except Cameron who was confined to the corner where he was whimpering, pathetically.
“We can’t just throw him out!” I cried. “Where would he go?”
“A mental asylum!” Jackson muttered. Jamie munched thoughtfully on some chips.
“Give me some, you fat pig.” Kirk grabbed the bag.
“Shut up, Kirk.” I snapped. Kirk shrugged and there was silence except for the crunch of chips and an occasional whimper.
“He tried to....Gods knows what he tried to do! But I’m sick and tired of him making sexual overtures towards me. It’s frightening!” I had to agree with Jackson’s point.
“Maybe we can lock your bedroom door!” Kirk suggested.
“Why do you like having him around? He scares us all.” Jackson demanded. I glanced over at Cameron.
“I don’t know. He’s sort of like a pet. I mean, you don’t put your dog down just because he humps a couple of legs.”
“He’s not HUMPING LEGS! When he stole my underwear, that could be called a leg hump! When he snuck into my bed, that could also be considered a leg hump. But strapping me to a fucking CHAIR?” Jackson was getting agitated; he had jumped up from the table and was pacing around.
“We’ll train him to stop, Jack. Please! Let us keep him. For a little while longer. At least until we find a good home for him.” I begged. Jackson glared at me.
“You’re paying for the locks to my room.” He growled before storming off to his bedroom. This was soon followed by the sound of furniture being moved. Cameron looked at the door hopefully.
“Sorry, buddy. You’re not getting in tonight.” I stood up from the table and took refuge in my room while Jamie and Kirk fought over the bag of chips.
I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Phoebe’s apartment. Andre was giving me some pointers on how to make the perfect cheesecake when Grant burst in.
“Andre!”
“Grant!”
“I’m in love!” Andre dropped the pan he’d been wiping.
“What?”
“Yes! I know it.”
“Phoebe.” Andre yelled. “Get out here. Now.” Phoebe popped her head out of the bathroom, her hair dripping wet.
“What is it and can it wait?”
“Grant’s in love.” Phoebe paused as she looked at Grant.
“Gimme a sec.” She was out in a few seconds wrapped in a towel. “What is this about being in love, Grant?”
“Adriana Wilson. We went for breakfast and I must say she’s....perfect. She’s beautiful, she thinks my jokes are funny-”
“That just means she was also dropped on her head as a baby.” Phoebe snapped. Grant glared at her before continuing.
“She likes the stuff I do, like sports and adventures.”
“By adventures, I suppose you mean, hurting yourself for no apparent reason and labelling it ‘fun’.” Andre replied, snarkily.
“God. You two are bitches,” I interjected. “If he wants to be in love, let him be in love.” Phoebe threw her hands up in the air.
“Fine! Be in love. Just don’t spend five days lying on the couch, crying like the last time.” She stormed into her room. She wasn’t gone two seconds when she came out again. “And no finishing all the alcohol.”
“Or smoking marijuana.”
“Or destroying property. Ours or anybody else’s.”
“And no starting bar fights.”
“No beating up her current boyfriend.”
“Got it?” I was beginning to see their point. Grant just shrugged.
“It won’t happen. Adriana and I are a match made in heaven.” Phoebe shook her head and went into her bedroom.
“I’m going out for a jog.” Grant said, happily, leaving the apartment.
“He jogs in jeans?” I asked Andre.
“He’d jog in anything.” He replied. “So...the secret to a perfect, light and fluffy chocolate cake
lies-” There was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” He shimmered over to the door. I say shimmered because he had the odd grace of a ballerina as opposed to the stomping/shuffling walk of most men.
“Andre!” I recognized Adriana’s voice, instantly. I snuck off into the breakfast nook where she wouldn’t be able to see me.
“Adriana, Grant was just by here.”
“Ah, yes. Well, I wanted to speak with you. I just had to tell you how WONDERFUL the food was last night. Did you make those spring rolls?”
“Yes. It’s a recipe I learnt from an old Chinese roommate.”
“Well, they were absolutely to die for. I even went off my diet for your food.” Andre laughed, selfconsciously.
“Thank you. Though I must say you don’t need a diet.” Inwardly, I groaned. She had recruited another member for her team.
Preston
There was discord in our apartment. Every member of the apartment was sitting around our kitchen table except Cameron who was confined to the corner where he was whimpering, pathetically.
“We can’t just throw him out!” I cried. “Where would he go?”
“A mental asylum!” Jackson muttered. Jamie munched thoughtfully on some chips.
“Give me some, you fat pig.” Kirk grabbed the bag.
“Shut up, Kirk.” I snapped. Kirk shrugged and there was silence except for the crunch of chips and an occasional whimper.
“He tried to....Gods knows what he tried to do! But I’m sick and tired of him making sexual overtures towards me. It’s frightening!” I had to agree with Jackson’s point.
“Maybe we can lock your bedroom door!” Kirk suggested.
“Why do you like having him around? He scares us all.” Jackson demanded. I glanced over at Cameron.
“I don’t know. He’s sort of like a pet. I mean, you don’t put your dog down just because he humps a couple of legs.”
“He’s not HUMPING LEGS! When he stole my underwear, that could be called a leg hump! When he snuck into my bed, that could also be considered a leg hump. But strapping me to a fucking CHAIR?” Jackson was getting agitated; he had jumped up from the table and was pacing around.
“We’ll train him to stop, Jack. Please! Let us keep him. For a little while longer. At least until we find a good home for him.” I begged. Jackson glared at me.
“You’re paying for the locks to my room.” He growled before storming off to his bedroom. This was soon followed by the sound of furniture being moved. Cameron looked at the door hopefully.
“Sorry, buddy. You’re not getting in tonight.” I stood up from the table and took refuge in my room while Jamie and Kirk fought over the bag of chips.
Maxine & Felicia
Maxine
“Umm… so what was that all about?” Phoebe looked a little befuddled. Ah, just as well.
“I think we should be friends.” I decided to be frank.
“That’s wonderful but did you really have to drag me away to tell me that?” She murmured, glancing wistfully into the apartment.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“What?! Why, that’s preposter-” I shot her a look. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“What?”
“This is GREAT!” I jumped up and down in girlish glee. “Absolutely wonderful!” I think I may have cackled, too.
“What the fuck?!” Oh dear. Went a bit too far, there. I calmed down a bit and prepared to offer her an explanation.
“I’ve kind of been waiting for Jackson to find someone for ages. Ever since that bitch, Adriana, broke his heart.”
“Umm… if I may say so.....I mean, you seem like a....wonderfully entertaining person to be acquainted with, it’s just… you—”
“You’re blubbering.”
“Hey! I am not—”
“I’m a ninja.”
“WHAT?!” I had to chuckle at her confusion.
“I’m kidding! Anyways, I know things. It comes with the gig… of living here, that is. So…” My face took on a mischievous look as I advanced on Phoebe. “What do you see in him?”
“Well.. umm…” She was certainly caught off-guard. “I’ve always liked a man who was thoughtful… considerate… I guess I like him for his mind.”
“Psh, of course.”
“Huh?”
“There’s not much else to like about him,” I replied, not unkindly. She laughed and I knew I’d struck a cord.
“That’s true. But I kinda like his eyes.”
“Really? I never looked at them. Possibly because I was too occupied with mocking him.” Phoebe laughed.
“That is a distraction.”
“What star sign are you?”
“Leo.” I nearly choked on my drink.
“Awesome! So am I! We’re going to get along perfectly.”
Felicia
I flew around my apartment, gathering scraps of fabric and stray sheets with designs on them. Thanks to the stupid party yesterday, I was late today. Neil Hunt wandered out of my bedroom with my bathrobe on.
“God, Neil. Please have some decency.” He wrapped his arms around my waist which I wiggled my way out of, impatiently. “Not now.” Neil sighed and started to pour himself a cup of coffee.
“You’re always so grumpy after a late night.”
“Well, if you had set the damn alarm, like I’d told you-” I was touching my makeup in the hallway mirror.
“Holy shit, Neil. That’s a short robe.” Celeste had just come out of her bedroom. “That is NASTY. How are you tapping that, Felicia?” I rolled my eyes.
“Not the time, Celeste.” She shrugged as she opened the fridge.
“Um, Felcy?”
“Yes?”
“What’s one of your drawings doing in the fridge?” She held out the piece of paper. I snatched it from her.
“Fuck. That’s where it went. Thank you, Celeste. I was freaking out searching for it.” I kissed her cheek. “You’re amazing.” I kissed Neil on the lips. “Love you, Neil. Talk to you later.” He just grunted in reply. Racing out of the apartment, I collided with a mass of muscle.
“I’m so sorry.” A gentle, male voice said.
“Grant, right?” I recognized him from last night.
“Yeah.” He smiled which brightened his face, magically. “Felicia?”
“Yes.” Grant bent down and helped me gather the loose papers.
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t be barreling out of the apartments anyway.” I laughed.
“Late?”
“Massively. Now, I have to navigate my way on the TTC-”
“Felicia! You nearly forgot your lunch.” Adriana suddenly appeared at our apartment door in a super short skirt that displayed her white legs in a most unflattering way.
“I don’t take lunch, Addy.” I muttered. Grant was staring at her, his mouth slightly open.
“Oh hi! You’re Grant! I’m Adriana.” Grant nodded, mutely.
“This is disgusting.” I grumbled, quietly as I hoisted my heavy handbag on my shoulder. I knew Adriana’s agenda; she couldn’t bare the thought of a guy coming to our floor and not falling in love with her or sleeping with her. Every single guy on this floor had either had a crush on her, dated her or had a one night stand with her. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Okay, Felcy.” I stumbled to the elevator.
“Wait, Felicia!” Grant called out. I turned to look at him. “Would you like a ride?” I smiled, triumphantly at him. So he managed to break Adriana’s spell.
“I’d love one, Grant.”
“Good. I figured since I’m taking Adriana out for breakfast-”
“Argh!” I growled. “Forget it, Grant. I’d rather walk.” I hopped onto the elevator as Grant stared after me with a confused look.
“Umm… so what was that all about?” Phoebe looked a little befuddled. Ah, just as well.
“I think we should be friends.” I decided to be frank.
“That’s wonderful but did you really have to drag me away to tell me that?” She murmured, glancing wistfully into the apartment.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“What?! Why, that’s preposter-” I shot her a look. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“What?”
“This is GREAT!” I jumped up and down in girlish glee. “Absolutely wonderful!” I think I may have cackled, too.
“What the fuck?!” Oh dear. Went a bit too far, there. I calmed down a bit and prepared to offer her an explanation.
“I’ve kind of been waiting for Jackson to find someone for ages. Ever since that bitch, Adriana, broke his heart.”
“Umm… if I may say so.....I mean, you seem like a....wonderfully entertaining person to be acquainted with, it’s just… you—”
“You’re blubbering.”
“Hey! I am not—”
“I’m a ninja.”
“WHAT?!” I had to chuckle at her confusion.
“I’m kidding! Anyways, I know things. It comes with the gig… of living here, that is. So…” My face took on a mischievous look as I advanced on Phoebe. “What do you see in him?”
“Well.. umm…” She was certainly caught off-guard. “I’ve always liked a man who was thoughtful… considerate… I guess I like him for his mind.”
“Psh, of course.”
“Huh?”
“There’s not much else to like about him,” I replied, not unkindly. She laughed and I knew I’d struck a cord.
“That’s true. But I kinda like his eyes.”
“Really? I never looked at them. Possibly because I was too occupied with mocking him.” Phoebe laughed.
“That is a distraction.”
“What star sign are you?”
“Leo.” I nearly choked on my drink.
“Awesome! So am I! We’re going to get along perfectly.”
Felicia
I flew around my apartment, gathering scraps of fabric and stray sheets with designs on them. Thanks to the stupid party yesterday, I was late today. Neil Hunt wandered out of my bedroom with my bathrobe on.
“God, Neil. Please have some decency.” He wrapped his arms around my waist which I wiggled my way out of, impatiently. “Not now.” Neil sighed and started to pour himself a cup of coffee.
“You’re always so grumpy after a late night.”
“Well, if you had set the damn alarm, like I’d told you-” I was touching my makeup in the hallway mirror.
“Holy shit, Neil. That’s a short robe.” Celeste had just come out of her bedroom. “That is NASTY. How are you tapping that, Felicia?” I rolled my eyes.
“Not the time, Celeste.” She shrugged as she opened the fridge.
“Um, Felcy?”
“Yes?”
“What’s one of your drawings doing in the fridge?” She held out the piece of paper. I snatched it from her.
“Fuck. That’s where it went. Thank you, Celeste. I was freaking out searching for it.” I kissed her cheek. “You’re amazing.” I kissed Neil on the lips. “Love you, Neil. Talk to you later.” He just grunted in reply. Racing out of the apartment, I collided with a mass of muscle.
“I’m so sorry.” A gentle, male voice said.
“Grant, right?” I recognized him from last night.
“Yeah.” He smiled which brightened his face, magically. “Felicia?”
“Yes.” Grant bent down and helped me gather the loose papers.
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t be barreling out of the apartments anyway.” I laughed.
“Late?”
“Massively. Now, I have to navigate my way on the TTC-”
“Felicia! You nearly forgot your lunch.” Adriana suddenly appeared at our apartment door in a super short skirt that displayed her white legs in a most unflattering way.
“I don’t take lunch, Addy.” I muttered. Grant was staring at her, his mouth slightly open.
“Oh hi! You’re Grant! I’m Adriana.” Grant nodded, mutely.
“This is disgusting.” I grumbled, quietly as I hoisted my heavy handbag on my shoulder. I knew Adriana’s agenda; she couldn’t bare the thought of a guy coming to our floor and not falling in love with her or sleeping with her. Every single guy on this floor had either had a crush on her, dated her or had a one night stand with her. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Okay, Felcy.” I stumbled to the elevator.
“Wait, Felicia!” Grant called out. I turned to look at him. “Would you like a ride?” I smiled, triumphantly at him. So he managed to break Adriana’s spell.
“I’d love one, Grant.”
“Good. I figured since I’m taking Adriana out for breakfast-”
“Argh!” I growled. “Forget it, Grant. I’d rather walk.” I hopped onto the elevator as Grant stared after me with a confused look.
Jared & Jackson
Jared
We knocked on the door at exactly eight o’clock.
“Hi!” A short, Indian guy opened the door and stood there, smiling goofily at us.
“Hi!” Sasha said/hollered. “I’m Sasha Balas. These are my roommates.”
“Spike Vassar.” Introductions were made and Spike ushered us into the house. Despite the fact they had just moved in, there wasn’t a box to be seen. The house was already decorated. Beautiful pictures decorated the walls. Lamps were everywhere and all were lit, giving the room a warm glow. Phoebe greeted us warmly, embracing Sasha and Maxine and smiling at me and Stefano. I found myself wishing she would embrace me.
“This is Andre Basra. He did ALL the cooking for today. So if you like what you eat, you can thank him. If you keel over dead....well....sue him.” Phoebe said. “Grant! Connor! Get out here.” A blond guy strolled out from the bedroom area, dressed casually in Abercrombie clothing. This was followed with another round of introductions. Of course, Stefano had to make it awkward with his creepy, stalker-ish homosexuality. He held Connor’s hand for too long, and the poor boy had to forcibly detach his hand from Stefano. A second doorbell rang and Phoebe ran to usher Adriana, Nikki, Celeste and Felicia into the house. We just waved at them. There was another round of introductions while Phoebe disappeared. She came out a little while later holding the hand of a handsome man who was introduced as Grant Butler.
“He’s a little shy.” She said, nudging Grant with her elbow. “Grant, say hello.” He waved before sitting on the couch and staring at the floor. The doorbell rang again.
“Hi.” He mumbled.
“Good boy.”
“Can I help you in the kitchen, Andre?” Sasha offered.
“Thank you!” Andre said, gratefully. “They’re all banned from the kitchen because they each have managed to set fire to the stove. Well, Phoebe set fire to the drapes.”
“Let’s NOT discuss that.” Phoebe smiled and shook her head.
“Who on Earth...? Connor, did you invite your weird modelling friends?”
“He has MODELLING friends?” Maxine clutched my arm. “Pinch me, I’m dreaming.” I gladly complied with her request. She slapped me. Hard. “Ow. I didn’t mean it.” Phoebe opened the door and suddenly Kent shoved his way into the apartment.
“What the hell?”
“We heard there was a party at the new people’s house so we decided to crash. I’m Kent Wither by the way. Hey! Sweet cheeks!” Celeste buried her face in her hands from embarrassment. The rest of Kent’s roommates followed; Neil Hunt stepped in after briefly introducing himself. Alden Kinshasa showed more remorse about crashing the party.
“I’m terribly sorry about this. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s fine.”
“SHE SAID IT’S FINE, GUYS! COME ON IN!” Marshall Dale yelled back into the hall and the remaining residents of the floor surged out of their apartments to converge on Phoebe’s apartment. Marshall stepped into the apartment and I have never seen a man fall harder for a woman on first glance. Phoebe, however, was pissed.
“You’re the asshole who invited them all.” She said to him; the boy was stuttering for words. Chelsea Sinai pushed her way past the stunned Marshall an extended her hand to Phoebe.
“HI! I’m Chelsea.”
“I’m Phoebe.” She replied, weakly, grasping Chelsea’s hand as she eyed the mob of people that had just taken over the apartment.
Jackson
“Hey there, Jack.” Sasha said, sidling up to me. “How’s it going, good looking?” I rolled my eyes.
“Please refrain from hitting on me.”
“Have you checked out your hostess yet? I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” There was the trace of a
dare in Sasha’s voice.
“I haven’t seen our hostess.” I replied, in my most dignified tone of voice.
“Speak up! I can’t hear a thing.” Sasha complained. “You always speak so quietly.”
“And you’re always as loud as a rhinoceros letting out a mating call.”
“Nice one.”
“I wasn’t kidding.”
“Hey! JESSICA!” And Sasha was gone in a flash. I retreated further into my little corner, sipping my beer. The horrible events of the afternoon kept replaying in my head. All I did was retreat to my bedroom to attempt to write three chapters. That’s all I wanted! Three chapters in silence. Next thing I knew I was strapped to my chair and Cameron was locking my door. He gagged me using a handkerchief. I rocked back and forth quickly, trying to fall over so I could wriggle away but all the chair did was creak idiotically. I could hear Preston, Kirk and Colton yelling at the game in the next room. Cameron stroked my hair and cooed gently in my ear.
“It’s okay, Jackson. I’m going to take good care of you.” I continued to rock to get away from his hand. There was a bloodcurdling scream and Preston was blathering on about how amazing his game was. Damn fools. Cameron was puttering around the room. I had no idea what he planned to do. He could just want to stroke my hair and hold my hand; it wouldn’t be the first time. How many times had I told them I wanted him OUT? But they never listened. Always said he was harmless. But he never assaulted them, did he? They never found him stealing a pair of their underwear or creeping into their beds at night. Sons of bitches. But there was silence in the hall now. I started to rock faster hoping they would hear the creaking. I was right; they were slamming on the door and hollering.
“Let us in, Cam! Don’t do anything to Jackson!” Preston was yelling.
“Fuck this. Get Jamie. We’re going in the hard way.” Kirk said. Suddenly there was a thumping sound as something hard hit the door. Cameron looked panicked. He looked between the door and me, his pointed eyebrows twitching. There was splintering as Jamie flew threw the door and landed flat on his face. Problem was... he’d also knocked me over. Albeit that was what I’d been trying to do, Jamie had managed to land with his crotch right over my grimacing face. And at the same time, he’d also brought Cameron down with him, putting the creepy Asian’s head right between my legs. Cam started giggling and just as the rest of the guys rushed into the room, a mysterious scent perfumed the air—
“Hi.” I was jerked out of my nightmare by a gentle female voice. “I’m Phoebe Valise.”
“Jackson Hines.” I replied.
“The writer?” She said, suddenly becoming excited. I turned to look at her. I had never met a good looking woman who recognized my books.
“Yes. You know my books?”
“Know them? I own a copy of every single one and even a few collector’s editions!” I blushed. “I can’t believe they’re not bestsellers.” I laughed.
“People don’t like political thrillers anymore.” She rolled her eyes.
“Maybe if your politics involved vampires.”
“Oh God, you can’t be referring to that mental excrement known to hordes of screaming rabid 12-year-old girls as ‘Twilight’. The series thoroughly eradicated several thousands of my brain cells in the first five pages.”
“I know! To imagine a piece of trash like that actually has readers!”
“Let alone ‘fans’.”
“It’s positively ridicu—”
“Why, hello there…” The raven haired vixen, known as Maxie to all and as Devil-Child to me, sidled up next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I saw Phoebe bristle at the unexpected interruption. “Phoebe, dear, may I have a moment with you?” It would have seemed as though the two had known each other for years, if not for the bewildered look on Phoebe’s face and the glint in Maxine’s eye.
“Oh! Uh…sure.” Maxine started towards the balcony and Phoebe followed. I looked after the curly-haired girl wistfully, regretting the sudden break in what would’ve been a wonderful conversation.
We knocked on the door at exactly eight o’clock.
“Hi!” A short, Indian guy opened the door and stood there, smiling goofily at us.
“Hi!” Sasha said/hollered. “I’m Sasha Balas. These are my roommates.”
“Spike Vassar.” Introductions were made and Spike ushered us into the house. Despite the fact they had just moved in, there wasn’t a box to be seen. The house was already decorated. Beautiful pictures decorated the walls. Lamps were everywhere and all were lit, giving the room a warm glow. Phoebe greeted us warmly, embracing Sasha and Maxine and smiling at me and Stefano. I found myself wishing she would embrace me.
“This is Andre Basra. He did ALL the cooking for today. So if you like what you eat, you can thank him. If you keel over dead....well....sue him.” Phoebe said. “Grant! Connor! Get out here.” A blond guy strolled out from the bedroom area, dressed casually in Abercrombie clothing. This was followed with another round of introductions. Of course, Stefano had to make it awkward with his creepy, stalker-ish homosexuality. He held Connor’s hand for too long, and the poor boy had to forcibly detach his hand from Stefano. A second doorbell rang and Phoebe ran to usher Adriana, Nikki, Celeste and Felicia into the house. We just waved at them. There was another round of introductions while Phoebe disappeared. She came out a little while later holding the hand of a handsome man who was introduced as Grant Butler.
“He’s a little shy.” She said, nudging Grant with her elbow. “Grant, say hello.” He waved before sitting on the couch and staring at the floor. The doorbell rang again.
“Hi.” He mumbled.
“Good boy.”
“Can I help you in the kitchen, Andre?” Sasha offered.
“Thank you!” Andre said, gratefully. “They’re all banned from the kitchen because they each have managed to set fire to the stove. Well, Phoebe set fire to the drapes.”
“Let’s NOT discuss that.” Phoebe smiled and shook her head.
“Who on Earth...? Connor, did you invite your weird modelling friends?”
“He has MODELLING friends?” Maxine clutched my arm. “Pinch me, I’m dreaming.” I gladly complied with her request. She slapped me. Hard. “Ow. I didn’t mean it.” Phoebe opened the door and suddenly Kent shoved his way into the apartment.
“What the hell?”
“We heard there was a party at the new people’s house so we decided to crash. I’m Kent Wither by the way. Hey! Sweet cheeks!” Celeste buried her face in her hands from embarrassment. The rest of Kent’s roommates followed; Neil Hunt stepped in after briefly introducing himself. Alden Kinshasa showed more remorse about crashing the party.
“I’m terribly sorry about this. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s fine.”
“SHE SAID IT’S FINE, GUYS! COME ON IN!” Marshall Dale yelled back into the hall and the remaining residents of the floor surged out of their apartments to converge on Phoebe’s apartment. Marshall stepped into the apartment and I have never seen a man fall harder for a woman on first glance. Phoebe, however, was pissed.
“You’re the asshole who invited them all.” She said to him; the boy was stuttering for words. Chelsea Sinai pushed her way past the stunned Marshall an extended her hand to Phoebe.
“HI! I’m Chelsea.”
“I’m Phoebe.” She replied, weakly, grasping Chelsea’s hand as she eyed the mob of people that had just taken over the apartment.
Jackson
“Hey there, Jack.” Sasha said, sidling up to me. “How’s it going, good looking?” I rolled my eyes.
“Please refrain from hitting on me.”
“Have you checked out your hostess yet? I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” There was the trace of a
dare in Sasha’s voice.
“I haven’t seen our hostess.” I replied, in my most dignified tone of voice.
“Speak up! I can’t hear a thing.” Sasha complained. “You always speak so quietly.”
“And you’re always as loud as a rhinoceros letting out a mating call.”
“Nice one.”
“I wasn’t kidding.”
“Hey! JESSICA!” And Sasha was gone in a flash. I retreated further into my little corner, sipping my beer. The horrible events of the afternoon kept replaying in my head. All I did was retreat to my bedroom to attempt to write three chapters. That’s all I wanted! Three chapters in silence. Next thing I knew I was strapped to my chair and Cameron was locking my door. He gagged me using a handkerchief. I rocked back and forth quickly, trying to fall over so I could wriggle away but all the chair did was creak idiotically. I could hear Preston, Kirk and Colton yelling at the game in the next room. Cameron stroked my hair and cooed gently in my ear.
“It’s okay, Jackson. I’m going to take good care of you.” I continued to rock to get away from his hand. There was a bloodcurdling scream and Preston was blathering on about how amazing his game was. Damn fools. Cameron was puttering around the room. I had no idea what he planned to do. He could just want to stroke my hair and hold my hand; it wouldn’t be the first time. How many times had I told them I wanted him OUT? But they never listened. Always said he was harmless. But he never assaulted them, did he? They never found him stealing a pair of their underwear or creeping into their beds at night. Sons of bitches. But there was silence in the hall now. I started to rock faster hoping they would hear the creaking. I was right; they were slamming on the door and hollering.
“Let us in, Cam! Don’t do anything to Jackson!” Preston was yelling.
“Fuck this. Get Jamie. We’re going in the hard way.” Kirk said. Suddenly there was a thumping sound as something hard hit the door. Cameron looked panicked. He looked between the door and me, his pointed eyebrows twitching. There was splintering as Jamie flew threw the door and landed flat on his face. Problem was... he’d also knocked me over. Albeit that was what I’d been trying to do, Jamie had managed to land with his crotch right over my grimacing face. And at the same time, he’d also brought Cameron down with him, putting the creepy Asian’s head right between my legs. Cam started giggling and just as the rest of the guys rushed into the room, a mysterious scent perfumed the air—
“Hi.” I was jerked out of my nightmare by a gentle female voice. “I’m Phoebe Valise.”
“Jackson Hines.” I replied.
“The writer?” She said, suddenly becoming excited. I turned to look at her. I had never met a good looking woman who recognized my books.
“Yes. You know my books?”
“Know them? I own a copy of every single one and even a few collector’s editions!” I blushed. “I can’t believe they’re not bestsellers.” I laughed.
“People don’t like political thrillers anymore.” She rolled her eyes.
“Maybe if your politics involved vampires.”
“Oh God, you can’t be referring to that mental excrement known to hordes of screaming rabid 12-year-old girls as ‘Twilight’. The series thoroughly eradicated several thousands of my brain cells in the first five pages.”
“I know! To imagine a piece of trash like that actually has readers!”
“Let alone ‘fans’.”
“It’s positively ridicu—”
“Why, hello there…” The raven haired vixen, known as Maxie to all and as Devil-Child to me, sidled up next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I saw Phoebe bristle at the unexpected interruption. “Phoebe, dear, may I have a moment with you?” It would have seemed as though the two had known each other for years, if not for the bewildered look on Phoebe’s face and the glint in Maxine’s eye.
“Oh! Uh…sure.” Maxine started towards the balcony and Phoebe followed. I looked after the curly-haired girl wistfully, regretting the sudden break in what would’ve been a wonderful conversation.
Maxine & Celeste
Maxine
New occupants already? Hmm… I took out my state-of-the-art blackberry and did some quick profiling on the members of 406. They’d just brought all the boxes in last night and two of them had fallen asleep halfway through the unpacking. I giggled to myself; I liked the look of those two—that curly-haired one and the blonde one. The girl looks like she’d be a pretty dependable friend, though. I went through a few classmates.com-esque websites and came up with some more facts: The girl, Phoebe Valise, had her own pediatric clinic; one of the boys (the roguishly good-looking blonde) was an A&F model, no surprise there; the curly-haired one was an athlete (guess that’s why he looked so muscular under that tee…); and that Andre dude was a cook of some sort.
“MAXIE! I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE HOUSE!” Sasha’s unbearably loud voice broke me out of my reverie, and nearly made me fall off the ledge I’d perched myself on.
“It’s hardly a house…” I scoffed.
“I HEARD THAT. I’VE GOT A LIST OF EMERGENCY NUMBERS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. THE WELCOME KIT FOR THE NEW NEIGHBOURS IS BESIDE IT. REMEMBER TO DUST YOUR ROOM!” She called out spitfire instructions before slamming the door shut.
I sighed and swung back up to our apartment’s balcony. Sasha was completely devoted to her wedding planning and catering business. She loved that cozy little office of hers too much. Poor girl.
"You better do what the boss tells you, Maxie." Stefano Degachi whined. Stefano had the kind of voice that would wake the dead and send newborns into the afterlife. His disfigured face was born that way, believe it or not.
“You want me to shut them up, Max?” Jared Datary asked.
“If you would be so kind.”
“Just try it, Jared.” Stefano said. A knock on the door distracted us from the possibility of a violent outbreak. Jared went over to the door and opened it. Standing there was the girl, Phoebe. She smiled at Jared and I didn’t even need to see his face to know he was infatuated.
“Hi! I’m Phoebe. I live down the hall-” Jared was now gaping and I felt bad for him to be humiliated so badly so I stepped in.
“I’m Maxine Shizi. This is Jared Datary.” I extended a hand and she extended hers. “How may we be of service?” Phoebe smiled apologetically.
“Our phones haven’t been connected yet and my cell phone’s dead and I was wondering-”
“Sure!” Jared said, a little too enthusiastically. I stepped aside to let Phoebe in.
“Who’s she?” Stefano demanded.
“This charming man is Stefano Degachi. The other guy is Austin Tard. Together they are the two most useless semi-human life forms you will ever meet.” Phoebe laughed as she picked up the phone and dialled her number.
“Hey, Richard. We just moved in and our phone isn’t working yet. My cell is dead so...yeah...just wondering where you were. Haven’t heard from you in a while.” I exchanged a glance with Jared. She hung up. I smiled, sympathetically.
“Boyfriend?”
“Soon to be ex-boyfriend.” She laughed, ruefully. “Never date at work. Doesn’t work out.” She paused. “Pun intended.” I gazed at her.
“Puns are a punishment.” She grinned.
“You like using puns too?”
“Likes it? She could make a career out of it.” Jared snorted.
“Tell me something, Phoebe. I saw two of your roommates yesterday.” I said. She smiled.
“I know what’s coming next.”
“They are too gorgeous for words.” She laughed.
“That they are.”
“Have you....you know...?”
“God, no.” She shook her head and sat down at the kitchen table with me and Jared.
“How come? They’re so beautiful. How can you resist?”
“The thing about Connor and Grant is that they are marvellous to admire from a distance. Once you get to know them like I do, the attraction disappears. I’m well aware that they are physically magnificent but I just don’t like them in THAT way.” I shrugged.
“Hard for me to imagine, I guess.” Phoebe laughed.
“You’ll see.” She smiled, warmly. “I have to get back. We invited our neighbours to the right over for dinner.” Her eyes widened in excitement. “Hey! Do you want to come over too?”
“YES!” Jared said, eagerly. I kicked him under the table.
“I’d love to. I’ll extend your invitation to Sasha.”
“Sasha?”
“Our roommate.”
“Great! We’ll see the five of you at eight?”
I glanced at Stefano and Austin. “You’ll see at least three of us.”
Celeste
I glared. The wrath of my gaze should have been enough to make anyone quiver. But not the reflection in the mirror. She glared back, equally angry.
“I will win this war!” I snarled at her. She snarled back. Dropping my mask, I sighed. “This isn’t going to work.” I addressed the girl lying on my bed. Felicia Lima sat up.
“Come on, Celeste. You’re a famous actress. I’m sure you’ll get the part.” I flung my script at the wall.
“This is bullshit.”
“Don’t be a diva. It doesn’t work.” Felicia grabbed my hand. “Come on. I’m sure Sasha has some miraculous dish hidden in a container at the back of her fridge that we can steal.” She dragged me out into the hall. “Celeste, don’t look now but there is a massively hot guy walking down the hall.” I glanced up to see the gorgeous blonde who seemed to be completely absorbed in his own world.
“Shit almighty, Felcy. He’s a god. He must be the new guy Adriana was talking about.” I was gawking. “I’m going to say hi.” Stepping into the hall, I intercepted the man as he walked. “Hi, I’m Celeste Ambridge.” His jaw dropped and now, he was the one gawking.
“I know who you are! You were in my dream. I mean....uh....” He blushed bright red.
“Let’s start with your name.” I said, gently.
“Connor Malinger.” He said, staring at the floor.
“Wonderful; that’s progress.” He raised his eyes up to my face, slowly and timidly. He was so cute; it was almost unbelievable. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malinger.”
“Please, call me Connor.” He said, earnestly. “Ms. Ambridge, I’m such a fan.”
“My name is Celeste not Ms. Ambridge. And thank you; I’m flattered. But you look familiar.” He blushed again.
“I’m a model for Abercrombie and Fitch.”
“Ah, yes. I’m more used to seeing you without a shirt.” I laughed. Connor flushed so red that his face could be easily compared with a tomato. Felicia prodded me in the side. “Oh, right. This is my best friend, Felicia Lima.” Connor smiled at her, seemingly regaining his sense of chivalry.
“A pleasure to meet you.” He said, warmly. “Will we be seeing you tonight?”
“You will be now.” Felicia replied.
“Great. I’ll see you both then.” He smiled at me once more, having recovered his courage and dignity. He entered his apartment, leaving me and Felicia in the hall.
“Oh my god!” We squealed.
“He SO likes you!” She cried.
“I think he was just left speechless by my fame. Not actually because he felt an attraction to me. Right?”
“WRONG! He completely digs you!”
“Who digs who?” The voice of my boyfriend Kent Wither brought us back to reality with a rude bump.
“No one’s digging anybody.” I said, slipping my hand into his. Felicia rolled her eyes and made no effort to disguise her dislike for him.
“Have you seen the new neighbours? What fags.” I gritted my teeth. “The brown chick is pretty sweet in the looks category and she’s got a rocking body. But the other four guys all look gay to me. That’s probably why she lives with them.” I pulled my hand away, repelled by his superficiality.
“Well, we’re going to their party tonight.”
“Don’t tell him that, Celeste. He might try to crash.”
“Me? Felicia, you surprise me! I would never try such a thing.” She rolled her eyes.
“Come on, Celeste. We need to get some food in you.”
“I’ll talk to you later, Sweet cheeks.” Kent called out to me.
“That’s such a vulgar nickname.” Felicia complained. But I wasn’t listening to either of them. I was still lost in the blue of Connor Malinger’s eyes.......
New occupants already? Hmm… I took out my state-of-the-art blackberry and did some quick profiling on the members of 406. They’d just brought all the boxes in last night and two of them had fallen asleep halfway through the unpacking. I giggled to myself; I liked the look of those two—that curly-haired one and the blonde one. The girl looks like she’d be a pretty dependable friend, though. I went through a few classmates.com-esque websites and came up with some more facts: The girl, Phoebe Valise, had her own pediatric clinic; one of the boys (the roguishly good-looking blonde) was an A&F model, no surprise there; the curly-haired one was an athlete (guess that’s why he looked so muscular under that tee…); and that Andre dude was a cook of some sort.
“MAXIE! I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE HOUSE!” Sasha’s unbearably loud voice broke me out of my reverie, and nearly made me fall off the ledge I’d perched myself on.
“It’s hardly a house…” I scoffed.
“I HEARD THAT. I’VE GOT A LIST OF EMERGENCY NUMBERS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. THE WELCOME KIT FOR THE NEW NEIGHBOURS IS BESIDE IT. REMEMBER TO DUST YOUR ROOM!” She called out spitfire instructions before slamming the door shut.
I sighed and swung back up to our apartment’s balcony. Sasha was completely devoted to her wedding planning and catering business. She loved that cozy little office of hers too much. Poor girl.
"You better do what the boss tells you, Maxie." Stefano Degachi whined. Stefano had the kind of voice that would wake the dead and send newborns into the afterlife. His disfigured face was born that way, believe it or not.
“You want me to shut them up, Max?” Jared Datary asked.
“If you would be so kind.”
“Just try it, Jared.” Stefano said. A knock on the door distracted us from the possibility of a violent outbreak. Jared went over to the door and opened it. Standing there was the girl, Phoebe. She smiled at Jared and I didn’t even need to see his face to know he was infatuated.
“Hi! I’m Phoebe. I live down the hall-” Jared was now gaping and I felt bad for him to be humiliated so badly so I stepped in.
“I’m Maxine Shizi. This is Jared Datary.” I extended a hand and she extended hers. “How may we be of service?” Phoebe smiled apologetically.
“Our phones haven’t been connected yet and my cell phone’s dead and I was wondering-”
“Sure!” Jared said, a little too enthusiastically. I stepped aside to let Phoebe in.
“Who’s she?” Stefano demanded.
“This charming man is Stefano Degachi. The other guy is Austin Tard. Together they are the two most useless semi-human life forms you will ever meet.” Phoebe laughed as she picked up the phone and dialled her number.
“Hey, Richard. We just moved in and our phone isn’t working yet. My cell is dead so...yeah...just wondering where you were. Haven’t heard from you in a while.” I exchanged a glance with Jared. She hung up. I smiled, sympathetically.
“Boyfriend?”
“Soon to be ex-boyfriend.” She laughed, ruefully. “Never date at work. Doesn’t work out.” She paused. “Pun intended.” I gazed at her.
“Puns are a punishment.” She grinned.
“You like using puns too?”
“Likes it? She could make a career out of it.” Jared snorted.
“Tell me something, Phoebe. I saw two of your roommates yesterday.” I said. She smiled.
“I know what’s coming next.”
“They are too gorgeous for words.” She laughed.
“That they are.”
“Have you....you know...?”
“God, no.” She shook her head and sat down at the kitchen table with me and Jared.
“How come? They’re so beautiful. How can you resist?”
“The thing about Connor and Grant is that they are marvellous to admire from a distance. Once you get to know them like I do, the attraction disappears. I’m well aware that they are physically magnificent but I just don’t like them in THAT way.” I shrugged.
“Hard for me to imagine, I guess.” Phoebe laughed.
“You’ll see.” She smiled, warmly. “I have to get back. We invited our neighbours to the right over for dinner.” Her eyes widened in excitement. “Hey! Do you want to come over too?”
“YES!” Jared said, eagerly. I kicked him under the table.
“I’d love to. I’ll extend your invitation to Sasha.”
“Sasha?”
“Our roommate.”
“Great! We’ll see the five of you at eight?”
I glanced at Stefano and Austin. “You’ll see at least three of us.”
Celeste
I glared. The wrath of my gaze should have been enough to make anyone quiver. But not the reflection in the mirror. She glared back, equally angry.
“I will win this war!” I snarled at her. She snarled back. Dropping my mask, I sighed. “This isn’t going to work.” I addressed the girl lying on my bed. Felicia Lima sat up.
“Come on, Celeste. You’re a famous actress. I’m sure you’ll get the part.” I flung my script at the wall.
“This is bullshit.”
“Don’t be a diva. It doesn’t work.” Felicia grabbed my hand. “Come on. I’m sure Sasha has some miraculous dish hidden in a container at the back of her fridge that we can steal.” She dragged me out into the hall. “Celeste, don’t look now but there is a massively hot guy walking down the hall.” I glanced up to see the gorgeous blonde who seemed to be completely absorbed in his own world.
“Shit almighty, Felcy. He’s a god. He must be the new guy Adriana was talking about.” I was gawking. “I’m going to say hi.” Stepping into the hall, I intercepted the man as he walked. “Hi, I’m Celeste Ambridge.” His jaw dropped and now, he was the one gawking.
“I know who you are! You were in my dream. I mean....uh....” He blushed bright red.
“Let’s start with your name.” I said, gently.
“Connor Malinger.” He said, staring at the floor.
“Wonderful; that’s progress.” He raised his eyes up to my face, slowly and timidly. He was so cute; it was almost unbelievable. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malinger.”
“Please, call me Connor.” He said, earnestly. “Ms. Ambridge, I’m such a fan.”
“My name is Celeste not Ms. Ambridge. And thank you; I’m flattered. But you look familiar.” He blushed again.
“I’m a model for Abercrombie and Fitch.”
“Ah, yes. I’m more used to seeing you without a shirt.” I laughed. Connor flushed so red that his face could be easily compared with a tomato. Felicia prodded me in the side. “Oh, right. This is my best friend, Felicia Lima.” Connor smiled at her, seemingly regaining his sense of chivalry.
“A pleasure to meet you.” He said, warmly. “Will we be seeing you tonight?”
“You will be now.” Felicia replied.
“Great. I’ll see you both then.” He smiled at me once more, having recovered his courage and dignity. He entered his apartment, leaving me and Felicia in the hall.
“Oh my god!” We squealed.
“He SO likes you!” She cried.
“I think he was just left speechless by my fame. Not actually because he felt an attraction to me. Right?”
“WRONG! He completely digs you!”
“Who digs who?” The voice of my boyfriend Kent Wither brought us back to reality with a rude bump.
“No one’s digging anybody.” I said, slipping my hand into his. Felicia rolled her eyes and made no effort to disguise her dislike for him.
“Have you seen the new neighbours? What fags.” I gritted my teeth. “The brown chick is pretty sweet in the looks category and she’s got a rocking body. But the other four guys all look gay to me. That’s probably why she lives with them.” I pulled my hand away, repelled by his superficiality.
“Well, we’re going to their party tonight.”
“Don’t tell him that, Celeste. He might try to crash.”
“Me? Felicia, you surprise me! I would never try such a thing.” She rolled her eyes.
“Come on, Celeste. We need to get some food in you.”
“I’ll talk to you later, Sweet cheeks.” Kent called out to me.
“That’s such a vulgar nickname.” Felicia complained. But I wasn’t listening to either of them. I was still lost in the blue of Connor Malinger’s eyes.......
Connor & Colton
Connor
The lush of the greenness of the trees was soothing to me. The sound of rippling brook echoed throughout the forest. I followed the sound and soon came to clearing. A woman sat there in the clearing with a long, flowing white dress. She turned around and smiled at me and my heart fluttered with ecstasy. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She stood up, still smiling. She had chin length strawberry blonde hair. I grinned goofily as she glided over to me.... ‘Hey, Connor,’ She said and her voice was like honey. She leaned to kiss my lips when the faint sound of a doorbell began to disturb the peace of the woodland. She smiled, ‘Get up and answer the damn door, you lazy ass.’
Technically, she didn’t say it. It was the sound of Spike’s voice cutting through my dreams. Spike Vassar was one of my five roommates. I could imagine the rest of them staggering out of their rooms: Phoebe Valise and Andre Basra, but Grant Butler would still be sound asleep. I rolled out of bed and stumbled out the bedroom door. Turns out, Spike had been talking to Andre who was sleeping on the couch in the living room until his bedroom furniture arrived. Phoebe was looking royally pissed at Spike. I contemplated retreating into the warmth of my bed. But the doorbell was still ringing and no one seemed to be interested in answering so I volunteered myself. Shuffling forward while rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I opened the door. Two women stood in front of the door. In hindsight, I should have gone back to bed and possibly saved us a lot of problems. But I didn’t and so I will continue narrating.
“Hi, I’m Adrianna Wilson and this is my roommate Nikki Eli.” They were both short. I had to look straight down to see them. “We just wanted to welcome you to the neighbourhood.” I didn’t point out that an apartment building hardly counted as a neighbourhood. Phoebe appeared at my elbow. Adriana’s eyes narrowed.
“My name is Phoebe Valise; it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Right. I’m Connor Malinger. My roommates are Andre Basra, Spike Vassar and Grant Butler. You’ll probably see them around.” Adriana smiled again. She was really short but so was Nikki. I was getting a neck ache looking down at them. Adriana was pretty with shoulder length, silky black hair and porcelain white skin that was marred with some acne. She had coal black eyes that were relatively unremarkable. Her smile was bright and infectious. Nikki was also pretty. She had light brown hair which was cut into a boycrop. She had black eyes and light skin. She had a charming, infectious smile.
“It’s wonderfully gracious of you to welcome us so warmly.” Phoebe said. “What apartment do you live in?”
“Number 405.” Nikki said, softly.
“Right next door.” Phoebe smiled at her.
“Well, I can see we’ve woken you. Terribly sorry about that. I guess we’ll see each other around.”
“Um....” Phoebe glanced at me, briefly before continuing on with her sentence. “Would you and your roommates like to come over for dinner tonight? Andre’s an amazing cook and he loves company. I’m afraid our apartment is a little bit of a tornado zone right now. Boxes EVERYWHERE but I’m sure we can find a chair or two to sit on.”
“Yeah!” Adriana said, enthusiastically. “We’d love to. Well, Nikki and I are a definite yes. I’ll have to check with Celeste and Felicia. But chances are they’re free too!”
“Great! See you around.....eight?”
“That’s sounds awesome. See you then.” Adriana looked up at me and smiled brightly before heading back into her apartment. Phoebe and I returned to our own apartment.
“What time is it?”
“Ten thirty.” Spike replied, stirring a mug of steaming liquid.
“We were moving until three.” Phoebe complained. “You and Andre went to sleep. Grant, Connor and I were the only ones left awake to move stuff.” Andre looked a little sheepish.
“I’m sorry, Phoebs.” She rolled her eyes. Phoebe was beautiful. She had shiny, black curls that bounced around her shoulders on most days. She had a perfect olive coloured complexion that complimented her brown eyes perfectly. Her eyes were her best feature, framed by thick, long eyelashes, caring and gentle even when her exterior was as prickly as a porcupine.
“We have company tonight.” She informed him. Andre lit up like a Christmas tree.
“I can cook?”
“You may cook.”
“Can I bake a cake?’
“If you have time, you may bake a cake.” Andre clapped his hands together in joy.
“But the house is a mess! I have so much work to do.” He rushed to the washroom to get prepared for his day of working. I rolled my eyes.
“Phoebe. I had the dream again!” I said, excitedly. Spike snorted as he munched on a stick of celery.
“He’s in love with a girl in a dream.” Spike muttered.
“Shut up. She’s real! She’s somewhere. I finally saw her face.” Phoebe smiled, tolerantly but I could see that she thought I was being silly. “I swear it, Phoebs.”
“What did she look like?” Phoebe asked.
“You know Celeste Ambridge, the actress?”
Phoebe snorted in laughter, “Oh, she’s real, Connor. Just way out of your league.”
“Not necessarily!” I cried. “Maybe I can convince the photo shoot director to get Celeste to model for Abercrombie and Fitch! Then I’d meet her.”
“Well, you are their best looking and most popular model.” Phoebe shrugged. “It’s plausible.” I flung my arms around her and kissed her cheek.
“Plausibility is a beautiful thing, my darling.”
Colton
“We have new neighbours, darling.” My fiancée told me excitedly. “They look nice.”
“Everyone looks nice to you, Chelsea.” She sighed.
“I’m going to drop by and say hi later today. And you’re coming.”
“No!” I groaned. “I hate meeting new people.”
“Why are you so anti social?”
“I’m not anti social. I love to meet the people I already know.” I straightened out my newspaper again. “New people are too judgemental.” Chelsea slid her arms around my neck and nuzzled against me.
“You worry too much, Colt.”
“HEY! Remember what the rules are?” Jessica Woo, one of the three other inhabitants of the house, yelled at us. “No touching unless no one’s in the room or you’re in your bedroom!” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, folding up my paper.
“I’m going out.” I announced, standing up.
“Where to?” Jessica asked.
“Somewhere.” Chelsea and Jessica exchanged knowing looks. “Call me if you need me.”
“We won’t.” Jessica said. I stepped out into the hall. I glanced from end to end, quickly to make sure that it was empty before proceeding to Apartment 403. I opened the door and strode in. By strode, I mean shuffled. No one on this floor ever locked their doors if they were home. Preston Stephens and Kirk Gant were lounging lazily on the couch.
“Hey, loser.” Preston greeted me.
“Video games, now.” I told him. Preston grinned.
“You speak my language.”
“Please, no videogames.” Jackson Hines pleaded. “I need to finish three chapters by tonight to send to my publisher. I can never focus with your incessant yelling and screaming.” We continued to set up with consoles, completely ignoring him. Jamie Prong shuffled out of his bedroom. He was carrying a giant textbook on some obscure math subject that I would never look at, learn or need at any time in my life. “I hate you guys.” Still no response from us. “I’m going to go kill myself now.”
“Please don’t get any blood on the carpet. We just got it put in.” Preston told him. Jackson threw up his hands in frustration.
“One day, I’ll do it.”
“Maybe THEN your books will sell.” Jamie quipped. Jackson glared at him before returning to his room. The game we played was a new game designed by Preston and Kirk. The details aren’t important; it involved blood and guts and was designed by my two best friends, so it was amazing. Cameron Am joined us halfway through the game.
“Hello, Colton.” He said, in his creepy way.
“Hey, Cam.” It didn’t long for me to notice his hand gripping my knee. “Fuck, Cam! Hands to yourself.”
“HEY! Cameron!” Preston stood up and pointed threateningly at the door. “Remember what we said? One more creepy, sexual advance, and you’re sleeping in the dog kennel!”
Cameron started whimpering like a distinctly non-human creature. Personally, I didn’t think he was human at all—and his appearance didn’t help, either. He had a receding hairline, complete with a widow’s peak, and his eyebrows were positioned in such a way that, with the light on him just right, he looked like the devil. Did I mention he recently decided goatees were “in”?
Sometimes, when the ice cream trucks come, he’s first in line. Needless to say, no one buys ice cream on those days.
When I returned my attention to the game, Preston had already beaten Jamie’s character to a bloody pulp. The game emitted a shrill woman’s scream and ended with the words “GAME OVER” in dripping blood over a blackened screen.
“FUCKING EPIC!” Preston exclaimed. “Did you hear that scream, guys?! Did ya?! Yeah, I got JACKSON’S sister to do that for it. And the end credits—,” he pointed animatedly to the screen, where zombies were hanging off white lettering, “—were totally all my idea, too! And that giant zombie lightning ray gun supernatural extra-magnetic charged…”
I tuned out halfway through his rant on how “SUPER FUCKING AWESOME” his game design was. “Hey, where’d Cam go?” The scary, paedophilic monster was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, we heard a creaking from Jackson’s room.
As we turned in horrified silence towards the door…
“Oh, shit.” Kirk voiced our thoughts exactly.
The lush of the greenness of the trees was soothing to me. The sound of rippling brook echoed throughout the forest. I followed the sound and soon came to clearing. A woman sat there in the clearing with a long, flowing white dress. She turned around and smiled at me and my heart fluttered with ecstasy. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She stood up, still smiling. She had chin length strawberry blonde hair. I grinned goofily as she glided over to me.... ‘Hey, Connor,’ She said and her voice was like honey. She leaned to kiss my lips when the faint sound of a doorbell began to disturb the peace of the woodland. She smiled, ‘Get up and answer the damn door, you lazy ass.’
Technically, she didn’t say it. It was the sound of Spike’s voice cutting through my dreams. Spike Vassar was one of my five roommates. I could imagine the rest of them staggering out of their rooms: Phoebe Valise and Andre Basra, but Grant Butler would still be sound asleep. I rolled out of bed and stumbled out the bedroom door. Turns out, Spike had been talking to Andre who was sleeping on the couch in the living room until his bedroom furniture arrived. Phoebe was looking royally pissed at Spike. I contemplated retreating into the warmth of my bed. But the doorbell was still ringing and no one seemed to be interested in answering so I volunteered myself. Shuffling forward while rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I opened the door. Two women stood in front of the door. In hindsight, I should have gone back to bed and possibly saved us a lot of problems. But I didn’t and so I will continue narrating.
“Hi, I’m Adrianna Wilson and this is my roommate Nikki Eli.” They were both short. I had to look straight down to see them. “We just wanted to welcome you to the neighbourhood.” I didn’t point out that an apartment building hardly counted as a neighbourhood. Phoebe appeared at my elbow. Adriana’s eyes narrowed.
“My name is Phoebe Valise; it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Right. I’m Connor Malinger. My roommates are Andre Basra, Spike Vassar and Grant Butler. You’ll probably see them around.” Adriana smiled again. She was really short but so was Nikki. I was getting a neck ache looking down at them. Adriana was pretty with shoulder length, silky black hair and porcelain white skin that was marred with some acne. She had coal black eyes that were relatively unremarkable. Her smile was bright and infectious. Nikki was also pretty. She had light brown hair which was cut into a boycrop. She had black eyes and light skin. She had a charming, infectious smile.
“It’s wonderfully gracious of you to welcome us so warmly.” Phoebe said. “What apartment do you live in?”
“Number 405.” Nikki said, softly.
“Right next door.” Phoebe smiled at her.
“Well, I can see we’ve woken you. Terribly sorry about that. I guess we’ll see each other around.”
“Um....” Phoebe glanced at me, briefly before continuing on with her sentence. “Would you and your roommates like to come over for dinner tonight? Andre’s an amazing cook and he loves company. I’m afraid our apartment is a little bit of a tornado zone right now. Boxes EVERYWHERE but I’m sure we can find a chair or two to sit on.”
“Yeah!” Adriana said, enthusiastically. “We’d love to. Well, Nikki and I are a definite yes. I’ll have to check with Celeste and Felicia. But chances are they’re free too!”
“Great! See you around.....eight?”
“That’s sounds awesome. See you then.” Adriana looked up at me and smiled brightly before heading back into her apartment. Phoebe and I returned to our own apartment.
“What time is it?”
“Ten thirty.” Spike replied, stirring a mug of steaming liquid.
“We were moving until three.” Phoebe complained. “You and Andre went to sleep. Grant, Connor and I were the only ones left awake to move stuff.” Andre looked a little sheepish.
“I’m sorry, Phoebs.” She rolled her eyes. Phoebe was beautiful. She had shiny, black curls that bounced around her shoulders on most days. She had a perfect olive coloured complexion that complimented her brown eyes perfectly. Her eyes were her best feature, framed by thick, long eyelashes, caring and gentle even when her exterior was as prickly as a porcupine.
“We have company tonight.” She informed him. Andre lit up like a Christmas tree.
“I can cook?”
“You may cook.”
“Can I bake a cake?’
“If you have time, you may bake a cake.” Andre clapped his hands together in joy.
“But the house is a mess! I have so much work to do.” He rushed to the washroom to get prepared for his day of working. I rolled my eyes.
“Phoebe. I had the dream again!” I said, excitedly. Spike snorted as he munched on a stick of celery.
“He’s in love with a girl in a dream.” Spike muttered.
“Shut up. She’s real! She’s somewhere. I finally saw her face.” Phoebe smiled, tolerantly but I could see that she thought I was being silly. “I swear it, Phoebs.”
“What did she look like?” Phoebe asked.
“You know Celeste Ambridge, the actress?”
Phoebe snorted in laughter, “Oh, she’s real, Connor. Just way out of your league.”
“Not necessarily!” I cried. “Maybe I can convince the photo shoot director to get Celeste to model for Abercrombie and Fitch! Then I’d meet her.”
“Well, you are their best looking and most popular model.” Phoebe shrugged. “It’s plausible.” I flung my arms around her and kissed her cheek.
“Plausibility is a beautiful thing, my darling.”
Colton
“We have new neighbours, darling.” My fiancée told me excitedly. “They look nice.”
“Everyone looks nice to you, Chelsea.” She sighed.
“I’m going to drop by and say hi later today. And you’re coming.”
“No!” I groaned. “I hate meeting new people.”
“Why are you so anti social?”
“I’m not anti social. I love to meet the people I already know.” I straightened out my newspaper again. “New people are too judgemental.” Chelsea slid her arms around my neck and nuzzled against me.
“You worry too much, Colt.”
“HEY! Remember what the rules are?” Jessica Woo, one of the three other inhabitants of the house, yelled at us. “No touching unless no one’s in the room or you’re in your bedroom!” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, folding up my paper.
“I’m going out.” I announced, standing up.
“Where to?” Jessica asked.
“Somewhere.” Chelsea and Jessica exchanged knowing looks. “Call me if you need me.”
“We won’t.” Jessica said. I stepped out into the hall. I glanced from end to end, quickly to make sure that it was empty before proceeding to Apartment 403. I opened the door and strode in. By strode, I mean shuffled. No one on this floor ever locked their doors if they were home. Preston Stephens and Kirk Gant were lounging lazily on the couch.
“Hey, loser.” Preston greeted me.
“Video games, now.” I told him. Preston grinned.
“You speak my language.”
“Please, no videogames.” Jackson Hines pleaded. “I need to finish three chapters by tonight to send to my publisher. I can never focus with your incessant yelling and screaming.” We continued to set up with consoles, completely ignoring him. Jamie Prong shuffled out of his bedroom. He was carrying a giant textbook on some obscure math subject that I would never look at, learn or need at any time in my life. “I hate you guys.” Still no response from us. “I’m going to go kill myself now.”
“Please don’t get any blood on the carpet. We just got it put in.” Preston told him. Jackson threw up his hands in frustration.
“One day, I’ll do it.”
“Maybe THEN your books will sell.” Jamie quipped. Jackson glared at him before returning to his room. The game we played was a new game designed by Preston and Kirk. The details aren’t important; it involved blood and guts and was designed by my two best friends, so it was amazing. Cameron Am joined us halfway through the game.
“Hello, Colton.” He said, in his creepy way.
“Hey, Cam.” It didn’t long for me to notice his hand gripping my knee. “Fuck, Cam! Hands to yourself.”
“HEY! Cameron!” Preston stood up and pointed threateningly at the door. “Remember what we said? One more creepy, sexual advance, and you’re sleeping in the dog kennel!”
Cameron started whimpering like a distinctly non-human creature. Personally, I didn’t think he was human at all—and his appearance didn’t help, either. He had a receding hairline, complete with a widow’s peak, and his eyebrows were positioned in such a way that, with the light on him just right, he looked like the devil. Did I mention he recently decided goatees were “in”?
Sometimes, when the ice cream trucks come, he’s first in line. Needless to say, no one buys ice cream on those days.
When I returned my attention to the game, Preston had already beaten Jamie’s character to a bloody pulp. The game emitted a shrill woman’s scream and ended with the words “GAME OVER” in dripping blood over a blackened screen.
“FUCKING EPIC!” Preston exclaimed. “Did you hear that scream, guys?! Did ya?! Yeah, I got JACKSON’S sister to do that for it. And the end credits—,” he pointed animatedly to the screen, where zombies were hanging off white lettering, “—were totally all my idea, too! And that giant zombie lightning ray gun supernatural extra-magnetic charged…”
I tuned out halfway through his rant on how “SUPER FUCKING AWESOME” his game design was. “Hey, where’d Cam go?” The scary, paedophilic monster was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, we heard a creaking from Jackson’s room.
As we turned in horrified silence towards the door…
“Oh, shit.” Kirk voiced our thoughts exactly.
Introduction
Alright! First of, I will start by sincerely apologizing to Jasun for the URL of this blog. I was tired and Cooper was the only one offering suggestions for the name of the website. Plus he gave me a damn good argument.....so...yeah. Hope you enjoy the story too....
Now that apologies have been cleared out of the way, I shall explain for those who are unclear. Maggie and I decided that we wanted to co-write a story. And this is the product....TA-DA! Some of you have already read (and complained about the length) the story. Others of you are new. Others didn't even know the story existed until their name somehow appeared in the URL......
Whatever your background or your reasons for reading, I hope you enjoy. If you love it, please post. If you don't love it, criticize; I don't mind becuase it makes me a better writer. So if you get confused, I'm sorry. And if you happen to see people you recognize in the story....it's all an illusion.
Now that apologies have been cleared out of the way, I shall explain for those who are unclear. Maggie and I decided that we wanted to co-write a story. And this is the product....TA-DA! Some of you have already read (and complained about the length) the story. Others of you are new. Others didn't even know the story existed until their name somehow appeared in the URL......
Whatever your background or your reasons for reading, I hope you enjoy. If you love it, please post. If you don't love it, criticize; I don't mind becuase it makes me a better writer. So if you get confused, I'm sorry. And if you happen to see people you recognize in the story....it's all an illusion.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)