Sasha & Preston

Sasha
I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Phoebe’s apartment. Andre was giving me some pointers on how to make the perfect cheesecake when Grant burst in.

“Andre!”

“Grant!”

“I’m in love!” Andre dropped the pan he’d been wiping.

“What?”

“Yes! I know it.”

“Phoebe.” Andre yelled. “Get out here. Now.” Phoebe popped her head out of the bathroom, her hair dripping wet.

“What is it and can it wait?”

“Grant’s in love.” Phoebe paused as she looked at Grant.

“Gimme a sec.” She was out in a few seconds wrapped in a towel. “What is this about being in love, Grant?”

“Adriana Wilson. We went for breakfast and I must say she’s....perfect. She’s beautiful, she thinks my jokes are funny-”

“That just means she was also dropped on her head as a baby.” Phoebe snapped. Grant glared at her before continuing.

“She likes the stuff I do, like sports and adventures.”

“By adventures, I suppose you mean, hurting yourself for no apparent reason and labelling it ‘fun’.” Andre replied, snarkily.

“God. You two are bitches,” I interjected. “If he wants to be in love, let him be in love.” Phoebe threw her hands up in the air.

“Fine! Be in love. Just don’t spend five days lying on the couch, crying like the last time.” She stormed into her room. She wasn’t gone two seconds when she came out again. “And no finishing all the alcohol.”

“Or smoking marijuana.”

“Or destroying property. Ours or anybody else’s.”

“And no starting bar fights.”

“No beating up her current boyfriend.”

“Got it?” I was beginning to see their point. Grant just shrugged.

“It won’t happen. Adriana and I are a match made in heaven.” Phoebe shook her head and went into her bedroom.

“I’m going out for a jog.” Grant said, happily, leaving the apartment.

“He jogs in jeans?” I asked Andre.

“He’d jog in anything.” He replied. “So...the secret to a perfect, light and fluffy chocolate cake
lies-” There was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” He shimmered over to the door. I say shimmered because he had the odd grace of a ballerina as opposed to the stomping/shuffling walk of most men.

“Andre!” I recognized Adriana’s voice, instantly. I snuck off into the breakfast nook where she wouldn’t be able to see me.

“Adriana, Grant was just by here.”

“Ah, yes. Well, I wanted to speak with you. I just had to tell you how WONDERFUL the food was last night. Did you make those spring rolls?”

“Yes. It’s a recipe I learnt from an old Chinese roommate.”

“Well, they were absolutely to die for. I even went off my diet for your food.” Andre laughed, selfconsciously.

“Thank you. Though I must say you don’t need a diet.” Inwardly, I groaned. She had recruited another member for her team.

Preston
There was discord in our apartment. Every member of the apartment was sitting around our kitchen table except Cameron who was confined to the corner where he was whimpering, pathetically.

“We can’t just throw him out!” I cried. “Where would he go?”

“A mental asylum!” Jackson muttered. Jamie munched thoughtfully on some chips.

“Give me some, you fat pig.” Kirk grabbed the bag.

“Shut up, Kirk.” I snapped. Kirk shrugged and there was silence except for the crunch of chips and an occasional whimper.

“He tried to....Gods knows what he tried to do! But I’m sick and tired of him making sexual overtures towards me. It’s frightening!” I had to agree with Jackson’s point.

“Maybe we can lock your bedroom door!” Kirk suggested.

“Why do you like having him around? He scares us all.” Jackson demanded. I glanced over at Cameron.

“I don’t know. He’s sort of like a pet. I mean, you don’t put your dog down just because he humps a couple of legs.”

“He’s not HUMPING LEGS! When he stole my underwear, that could be called a leg hump! When he snuck into my bed, that could also be considered a leg hump. But strapping me to a fucking CHAIR?” Jackson was getting agitated; he had jumped up from the table and was pacing around.

“We’ll train him to stop, Jack. Please! Let us keep him. For a little while longer. At least until we find a good home for him.” I begged. Jackson glared at me.

“You’re paying for the locks to my room.” He growled before storming off to his bedroom. This was soon followed by the sound of furniture being moved. Cameron looked at the door hopefully.

“Sorry, buddy. You’re not getting in tonight.” I stood up from the table and took refuge in my room while Jamie and Kirk fought over the bag of chips.