Connor & Colton

Connor

The lush of the greenness of the trees was soothing to me. The sound of rippling brook echoed throughout the forest. I followed the sound and soon came to clearing. A woman sat there in the clearing with a long, flowing white dress. She turned around and smiled at me and my heart fluttered with ecstasy. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She stood up, still smiling. She had chin length strawberry blonde hair. I grinned goofily as she glided over to me.... ‘Hey, Connor,’ She said and her voice was like honey. She leaned to kiss my lips when the faint sound of a doorbell began to disturb the peace of the woodland. She smiled, ‘Get up and answer the damn door, you lazy ass.’

Technically, she didn’t say it. It was the sound of Spike’s voice cutting through my dreams. Spike Vassar was one of my five roommates. I could imagine the rest of them staggering out of their rooms: Phoebe Valise and Andre Basra, but Grant Butler would still be sound asleep. I rolled out of bed and stumbled out the bedroom door. Turns out, Spike had been talking to Andre who was sleeping on the couch in the living room until his bedroom furniture arrived. Phoebe was looking royally pissed at Spike. I contemplated retreating into the warmth of my bed. But the doorbell was still ringing and no one seemed to be interested in answering so I volunteered myself. Shuffling forward while rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I opened the door. Two women stood in front of the door. In hindsight, I should have gone back to bed and possibly saved us a lot of problems. But I didn’t and so I will continue narrating.

“Hi, I’m Adrianna Wilson and this is my roommate Nikki Eli.” They were both short. I had to look straight down to see them. “We just wanted to welcome you to the neighbourhood.” I didn’t point out that an apartment building hardly counted as a neighbourhood. Phoebe appeared at my elbow. Adriana’s eyes narrowed.

“My name is Phoebe Valise; it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Right. I’m Connor Malinger. My roommates are Andre Basra, Spike Vassar and Grant Butler. You’ll probably see them around.” Adriana smiled again. She was really short but so was Nikki. I was getting a neck ache looking down at them. Adriana was pretty with shoulder length, silky black hair and porcelain white skin that was marred with some acne. She had coal black eyes that were relatively unremarkable. Her smile was bright and infectious. Nikki was also pretty. She had light brown hair which was cut into a boycrop. She had black eyes and light skin. She had a charming, infectious smile.

“It’s wonderfully gracious of you to welcome us so warmly.” Phoebe said. “What apartment do you live in?”

“Number 405.” Nikki said, softly.

“Right next door.” Phoebe smiled at her.

“Well, I can see we’ve woken you. Terribly sorry about that. I guess we’ll see each other around.”

“Um....” Phoebe glanced at me, briefly before continuing on with her sentence. “Would you and your roommates like to come over for dinner tonight? Andre’s an amazing cook and he loves company. I’m afraid our apartment is a little bit of a tornado zone right now. Boxes EVERYWHERE but I’m sure we can find a chair or two to sit on.”

“Yeah!” Adriana said, enthusiastically. “We’d love to. Well, Nikki and I are a definite yes. I’ll have to check with Celeste and Felicia. But chances are they’re free too!”

“Great! See you around.....eight?”

“That’s sounds awesome. See you then.” Adriana looked up at me and smiled brightly before heading back into her apartment. Phoebe and I returned to our own apartment.

“What time is it?”

“Ten thirty.” Spike replied, stirring a mug of steaming liquid.

“We were moving until three.” Phoebe complained. “You and Andre went to sleep. Grant, Connor and I were the only ones left awake to move stuff.” Andre looked a little sheepish.

“I’m sorry, Phoebs.” She rolled her eyes. Phoebe was beautiful. She had shiny, black curls that bounced around her shoulders on most days. She had a perfect olive coloured complexion that complimented her brown eyes perfectly. Her eyes were her best feature, framed by thick, long eyelashes, caring and gentle even when her exterior was as prickly as a porcupine.

“We have company tonight.” She informed him. Andre lit up like a Christmas tree.

“I can cook?”

“You may cook.”

“Can I bake a cake?’

“If you have time, you may bake a cake.” Andre clapped his hands together in joy.

“But the house is a mess! I have so much work to do.” He rushed to the washroom to get prepared for his day of working. I rolled my eyes.

“Phoebe. I had the dream again!” I said, excitedly. Spike snorted as he munched on a stick of celery.

“He’s in love with a girl in a dream.” Spike muttered.

“Shut up. She’s real! She’s somewhere. I finally saw her face.” Phoebe smiled, tolerantly but I could see that she thought I was being silly. “I swear it, Phoebs.”

“What did she look like?” Phoebe asked.

“You know Celeste Ambridge, the actress?”

Phoebe snorted in laughter, “Oh, she’s real, Connor. Just way out of your league.”

“Not necessarily!” I cried. “Maybe I can convince the photo shoot director to get Celeste to model for Abercrombie and Fitch! Then I’d meet her.”

“Well, you are their best looking and most popular model.” Phoebe shrugged. “It’s plausible.” I flung my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

“Plausibility is a beautiful thing, my darling.”


Colton

“We have new neighbours, darling.” My fiancée told me excitedly. “They look nice.”

“Everyone looks nice to you, Chelsea.” She sighed.

“I’m going to drop by and say hi later today. And you’re coming.”

“No!” I groaned. “I hate meeting new people.”

“Why are you so anti social?”

“I’m not anti social. I love to meet the people I already know.” I straightened out my newspaper again. “New people are too judgemental.” Chelsea slid her arms around my neck and nuzzled against me.

“You worry too much, Colt.”

“HEY! Remember what the rules are?” Jessica Woo, one of the three other inhabitants of the house, yelled at us. “No touching unless no one’s in the room or you’re in your bedroom!” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, folding up my paper.

“I’m going out.” I announced, standing up.

“Where to?” Jessica asked.

“Somewhere.” Chelsea and Jessica exchanged knowing looks. “Call me if you need me.”

“We won’t.” Jessica said. I stepped out into the hall. I glanced from end to end, quickly to make sure that it was empty before proceeding to Apartment 403. I opened the door and strode in. By strode, I mean shuffled. No one on this floor ever locked their doors if they were home. Preston Stephens and Kirk Gant were lounging lazily on the couch.

“Hey, loser.” Preston greeted me.

“Video games, now.” I told him. Preston grinned.

“You speak my language.”

“Please, no videogames.” Jackson Hines pleaded. “I need to finish three chapters by tonight to send to my publisher. I can never focus with your incessant yelling and screaming.” We continued to set up with consoles, completely ignoring him. Jamie Prong shuffled out of his bedroom. He was carrying a giant textbook on some obscure math subject that I would never look at, learn or need at any time in my life. “I hate you guys.” Still no response from us. “I’m going to go kill myself now.”

“Please don’t get any blood on the carpet. We just got it put in.” Preston told him. Jackson threw up his hands in frustration.

“One day, I’ll do it.”

“Maybe THEN your books will sell.” Jamie quipped. Jackson glared at him before returning to his room. The game we played was a new game designed by Preston and Kirk. The details aren’t important; it involved blood and guts and was designed by my two best friends, so it was amazing. Cameron Am joined us halfway through the game.

“Hello, Colton.” He said, in his creepy way.

“Hey, Cam.” It didn’t long for me to notice his hand gripping my knee. “Fuck, Cam! Hands to yourself.”

“HEY! Cameron!” Preston stood up and pointed threateningly at the door. “Remember what we said? One more creepy, sexual advance, and you’re sleeping in the dog kennel!”

Cameron started whimpering like a distinctly non-human creature. Personally, I didn’t think he was human at all—and his appearance didn’t help, either. He had a receding hairline, complete with a widow’s peak, and his eyebrows were positioned in such a way that, with the light on him just right, he looked like the devil. Did I mention he recently decided goatees were “in”?

Sometimes, when the ice cream trucks come, he’s first in line. Needless to say, no one buys ice cream on those days.

When I returned my attention to the game, Preston had already beaten Jamie’s character to a bloody pulp. The game emitted a shrill woman’s scream and ended with the words “GAME OVER” in dripping blood over a blackened screen.

“FUCKING EPIC!” Preston exclaimed. “Did you hear that scream, guys?! Did ya?! Yeah, I got JACKSON’S sister to do that for it. And the end credits—,” he pointed animatedly to the screen, where zombies were hanging off white lettering, “—were totally all my idea, too! And that giant zombie lightning ray gun supernatural extra-magnetic charged…”

I tuned out halfway through his rant on how “SUPER FUCKING AWESOME” his game design was. “Hey, where’d Cam go?” The scary, paedophilic monster was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, we heard a creaking from Jackson’s room.

As we turned in horrified silence towards the door…

“Oh, shit.” Kirk voiced our thoughts exactly.